Oreo Thins Are a Heart Breaker and Dream Killer

Categories: Taste Test

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You remember how a little while ago, I talked about how the hot dog crust pizza was an innovative step in the right direction for junk food, even if it didn't taste that amazing?

Yeah, Oreo Thins -- the more "grown up", smaller Oreos -- are basically the opposite of that.


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Eating Pizza Hut's Hot Dog Pizza and Accepting the Absurd

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Photo by Ryan Cady

Let's just get one thing out of the way before we begin, alright? I'm not gonna hyperbolize here: the new Pizza Hut Hot Dog Bites Crust Pizza is just plain okay. It's not a revolution in flavor -- although, in my opinion, it does sound the war cry for a new renaissance in fast food: the acceptance of the absurd.


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Hikari Poki Bar Opens in Lake Forest

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Edwin Goei
Pick a poki.
The poke phenomenon continues. Hikari is the latest sushi bar to realize that these days people don't want sushi, they want poke. Though the menu is still populated with combo plates, sushi rolls, and nigiri, its new owners have rebranded the place as a poke bar. And they've even added a sushi burrito as an option.

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5 Horrible Sodas You've Probably Never Had Before

Categories: Taste Test

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:(

Last week, I went over the best sodas I've ever had at RocketFizz, one of the best sweets stores in all the land, but not all is good in the chocolate factory. Part of the fun thing about sodas is that if you're as big of a manbaby as I am, you can find some pretty disgusting draws, after all. Most of the Garbage Pail Brews are custom made for RocketFizz's house brand, "Lester's Fixins" - I don't get the reference, but the image of a smiling, bespectacled man on the bottle usually serves to mock the fool daring enough to sip one of these tainted bubblies.

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Tags:

bad, soda

Taco Bell's Crispy Chicken is a Fast Food Revolución

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Photo by Ryan Cady
Pictured: Trotsky

By now, dear fans, I'm sure you've read my glowing review of Taco Bell's
new Biscuit Taco breakfast items, and, trusting my dietary expertise, you've bought at least 4 of them. But what you probably don't know is the story behind the story, and the Grand Crispy Chicken Prophecy that emerged from my breakfast adventure.

When I heard that Taco Bell was bringing in Crispy Chicken for one of their breakfast tacos, I knew it was only a matter of time before the delicious, golden-fried goodness invaded other aspects of their menu. When I drove through Taco Bell at 7 a.m. on the morning of Thursday, March 26, I saw no promotional material for the new breakfast items, but my faith was rewarded. I chowed down on my Crispy Chicken Biscuit and wrote another culinary epic, I remarked to my editor - "You know, this changes everything. The Crispy Chicken Revolución has arrived."

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Taco Bell's Biscuit Taco Keeps the Dream Alive

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Photo by Ryan Cady
That's some nice chicken

Remember those Taco Bell Waffle Taco things? And that weird hash brown Crunchwrap majigger? Well, if you don't, surely you've noticed that Taco Bell is inexplicably open when most of its pot-addled clientele is asleep, the traditional American breakfast hours of 6 to 9 a.m., serving up shit that nobody asked for, like a Sausage 'n Gravy Crunchwrap.

Sidebar with me? Isn't it weird that Taco Bell hasn't tapped into "traditional" Mexican breakfast dishes like huevos rancheros, or anything involving chorizo? I mean, nobody expects authentic from the Bell - that's honestly part of its appeal - but if your entire marketing strategy is to make a breakfast that's somehow drastically different from everyone else's, maybe think about working within genre of food you serve? Instead of just making ANOTHER sausage/egg/cheese breakfast sandwich that happens to be shaped differently.)


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We Eat It So You Don't Have To: Little Caesar's Bacon-Crust Pizza

Categories: Taste Test

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Photo by Ryan Cady
Hello, Pizza

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and voice what is probably an unpopular opinion - I think Little Caesar's pizza is actually pretty great.

Now, before you all jump down my throat, and I have to hear "it's cardboard pizza!" for the forty billionth time in my life, just... just shut up and listen. That's hyperbole, and you know it.

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We Try It So You Don't Have To: Boysenberry Latte At Knott's Berry Farm

Categories: Taste Test

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Anne Marie Panoringan
Boysenberry with a side of adrenaline, please!

Starbucks has gotten on the theme park bandwagon as of late. First, they joined forces with the mouse and sold limited-edition Disney mugs and tumblers that you can only purchase within the theme parks (We're selling ours-- ka-ching!). Then, they collaborated with the Buena Park destination to serve a specialty drink only offered at one spot inside Knott's. Talk about exclusivity.

We were invited to join a friend on her boysenberry crawl, and took the opportunity to hunt down this mythical latte. It's not listed on their map, so we played tourist until a helpful boy serving boysenberry slushies found out for us. It's at one end of the Boardwalk, across from Johnny Rockets in a walk-up called Gourmet Coffee Hut. If not for a small sign with the familiar green goddess, you wouldn't realize they served Starbucks unless you actually read the menu.

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We Eat It So You Don't Have To: Red Velvet Oreos

Categories: Taste Test

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Photo by Ryan Cady
Hello there

It seems like once a month Nabisco rolls out a new flavor of Oreo usually to just quietly pull it from store shelves once the first round of sales reports trickles in. You can usual tell how good a new flavor is going to be by the amount of ridiculous Internet fan fare it receives, and for every over-hyped, three-separate-BuzzFeed-article flavor like Reese's Peanut Butter, there's two or three failures like Neapolitan or Limeade. Seriously, can anyone out there say that they tried Limeade Oreos and enjoyed them?

So right off the bat, I didn't have high hopes for Red Velvet Oreos, the foodie culture's flavor obsession circa 2010 - kinda missed the train there, Nabisco.


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We Try 6 More Trader Joe's Nut/Cookie Butters

Categories: Taste Test

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Photo by Cleo Tobbi
We're back..

Since our last taste test, Trader Joe's has still been at it with their spreadable edibles so, naturally, we're doing another taste test. Some of these spreads are veterans of the TJ shelf while others have recently taken to shining under the florescent light. Grab some milk, because things are about to get sticky.

This time, we try cashew butter, peanut butter with flax and chia seed, fig butter, cocoa-almond spread, cookies and creme butter, and cookie and cocoa swirl.

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