This was bound to happen someday, and of course, it happened in Japan. Burger joint Lotteria teamed up with ramen restaurant Menya Musashi to create a--you guessed it--ramen burger.

Two burger buns sandwich a pork cutlet, mayo and a bed of lightly fried ramen noodles. The concoction is served with "katsuo dashi," a Japanese broth.

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The rebel activists at PETA are known for using shock tactics to grab people's attention (i.e., "Let's promote animal rights with women masturbating with asparagus!"), so their antics shouldn't surprise anyone. And yet, I feel dirty after watching the latest ad.

For 46 seconds, animals--horses, rhinos, water buffalos--do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Seeing all this thumpin' and bumpin' in the wild is supposed to make you want to go vegan because, as the tagline says, "Vegans have a bigger sexual appetite."

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HAPIfork

Technology can be a real bitch sometimes. Facebook sends evidence of your weekend shenanigans to your mom's newsfeed, GPS devices reveal when you're at Sidecar Doughnuts instead of the gym, and now there's this: a fork that knows when you're pigging out.

It's called HAPIfork, and it's pretty genius, actually. The gizmo records the pace at which you touch your fork to your mouth, and when you eat too fast, a "gentle vibration" and indicator light reminds you to slow down. (Thankfully, no pig noises go off.) It also tracks how many servings you've taken and how long your meals last. All of this information gets uploaded to a website or mobile app, on which you can view your eating trends and change your habits accordingly.

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It was bound to happen sooner or later: A Starbucks barista, either having misheard the name "Virginia" or unable to spell it, wrote "Vagina" on a customer's cup.

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Yelp is many things to many people: a bully pulpit or simply just a bully to businesses barely trying to make it. It's been ridiculed, parodied, and satired...but this next story is so surreal, even the people at Yelp probably didn't see it coming.

The Washington Post (http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/with-few-other-outlets-for-complaints-inmates-review-prisons-on-yelp/2013/04/27/59cc3440-9e24-11e2-a2db-efc5298a95e1_story.html) was the first major news outlet to notice that Yelp was being used by inmates to review the prisons in which they were incarcerated. Yes, as it turns out, Yelp has starred write-ups on penitentiaries, with such pronouncements from its, um, patrons, as "You heard right, they have juice boxes! . . . So if you're going to get arrested, do it in Arlington County."

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Cracker, meet Beaner

I do not watch The Real Housewives of Orange County, not because I'm a snob (I'm all about The Real Housewives of Atlanta--wasn't Kenya CRAY CRAY this season?!) but because I find all the cast members insufferable and interchangeable. So when I started receiving emails that Tamra Barney called her Latino beau a "beaner" in the show, I had to remember: who was she? Was she the one with the Jesus jugs, or the one with the nice daughter that helped out my chica in the emergency room, or the one whose son kept getting arrested? Oh, she was the blonde? Um, okay...
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Over at our Navel Gazing news blog, we have been ridiculing The Orange County Register's decision to erect a paywall around its so-so writing. Here, we mostly ridicule the Reg's food section, especially its execrable food "star," Nancy "Fast Food Maven" Luna.

But let us praise the Reg, for once: because of its boneheaded decision to go with a paywall, especially in the Food section that was proving to be one of the paper's most popular sections, it is leading to increased traffic in OC's food-blogging scene, as readers who can no longer read Luna's rewritten press releases are flocking to other places. How much? Someone now has a full-time job because of it--HA!

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Trongs

Add to my list of dealbreakers the use Trongs, reusable utensils that let you eat finger foods mess-free.

The company website lists the many snacks that now can now be enjoyed without anxiety: Buffalo wings! Ribs! Sushi! Shrimp cocktail! Potato chips!

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Virgin America

In line with its lounge-like ambiance (purple mood lighting--rawr), Virgin America is now encouraging mile-high flirting with its new seat-to-seat drink delivery service. The concept is simple: Pick a cutie on the flight (perhaps that brunette next to the emergency exit?) and order him or her a cocktail using the touch screen in front of you. You can even add a little message ("Are you in 10C? Because you're the only 10 I see.") Then wait for the sparks to fly, 35,000 feet above sea level.

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Flickr user newwavegurly

How do you bring new life to Dippin' Dots, the flash-frozen ice cream pellets that have been struggling to stay relevant?

With booze, of course.

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