Future Restaurateurs: You Can Stop Naming Your Restaurants "Urban" Now

Categories: Really?!?!?

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One of the first Urbanses...
Listen up future restauranteurs and those who would name restaurants: Using the word "Urban" to name your eating establishment is now officially overdone. That is to say: If your first name ain't Keith and you're not a country music star looking to open a rib joint, you might as well as try to come up with something more original than "Urban BBQ".

Here's proof.


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Dave & Buster's Apologizes for Tweeting "'I Hate Tacos' Said No Juan Ever"

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Photo by the Elmo Monster
WEAK SALSA...

I think I've gone to maybe one Dave & Buster's in my life--at the Block, of course, or the Outlets at Orange or whatever the hell they call themselves now. I hear it's popular for its happy hour and games, but still can't conceive how it's been open all these years (it's one of the few original Block tenants). In fact, I can be honest in saying I think about Dave & Buster's about once every other year, so insignificant it is to me.

But now I have nothing but Dave & Buster's on my mind: as a cowardly pendejo company that doesn't have the huevos to stand by a tired, semi-funny joke that they tweeted yesterday, almost immediately deleted, then apologized for it.


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Pepsi Has Its Own Official Mariachi, and It's Not Half Bad!

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Photo courtesy of the Godfather
Dig the logo on their suits...

SO...a friend of mine was recently at the latest store opening for Northgate, the Anaheim-based Latino supermarket for which my dad works as a troquero. They opened their 40th store in Long Beach, off of Cherry Avenue, in an area that's not exactly Latino but which is nevertheless already getting mucho business from African-American and gabacho clientele.

But the most fascinating thing about Northgate's fiesta for the occasion? The appearance of a Pepsi-sponored mariachi, down to the soda gian't ying-yang logo on each musician's charro suit. CRAZY!


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Next Thursday, Have Dinner With Your Own Personal Truffle in Long Beach

Categories: Really?!?!?

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Photo by bluumwezi
Pfftfft, that's not enough truffle

Do you love truffle? Like, really really love truffle? If you do, I've got the dinner for you. Next Thursday, Nov. 13, Michael's on Naples in Long Beach is having a $300 six-course dinner with wine pairings included. The biggest perk though? Your own personal Alba white truffle complete with truffle shaver so you can shave to your heart's delight.

Interested? Details are after the jump.

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"Watered-Down Ketchup Broth and Tomato Skins": A Foodie Reviews the Food in the OC Jail!

Categories: Really?!?!?

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Note, jail guards: I did NOT give this book to our columnist

SO...we got a friend whose friend is doing time at Theo Lacy. And not just any
friend of a friend: this guy is someone who loves the good life, who frequented some of the best restaurants in the county...and is now relegated to eating the horrid stuff that jail guards heap on inmates. How horrid? Let the friend of the friend (who's calling himself N.S. Lechuga) describe in this letter from the OC Jail...

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Toro Burger, Purveyor of Noodle Burgers, Introduces Bao Tacos

Categories: Really?!?!?

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Picture Courtesy of Toro Burger
Hello Good-Bao
You may remember Toro Burger, the Santa Ana burger joint that earlier this year started selling a copy of Keizo Shimamoto original (and trademarked) Ramen Burger. Now they're expanding the menu to include something they're calling Bao Tacos.

What are Bao Tacos? Well, they're TBNO (Tacos By Name Only); actually soft, steamed bao buns stuffed with either Angus steak marinated Korean BBQ, spicy pork, grilled chicken, or BBQ pork belly.

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Pillsbury Made Pizza Cake an Actual Thing

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It's coming for you.

Do you remember that pizza cake that I thought was clone stamped into existence? You know, the one some small-to-medium-sized pizza chain thought would be cool to throw into a contest?

Well, Pillsbury has turned it into a real, actual thing that you can put into your mouth, and I have to be honest, I'm kind of afraid.

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Is a $12 Taco Worth It? Yes and No, Or: How to Fight Taco Inflation

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Photo by The Mexican
Ruben's Tacos y Mulitas' tacos? Worth it

Recently, a new-ish Mexican restaurant in San Francisco (surprisingly NOT in the ever-gentrifying Mission District) started a firestorm for two distinct reasons--one indefensible, the other almost defensible. They initially called themselves Bandidos, which got yaktivists rightfully up in arms (ironically enough) over the stereotypical name. But what got people even más encabronados was that Bandidos planned to charge $12 for two tacos--oh, did that one piss people off, especially my pal, Bordertown colleague, and fellow zacatecano Lalo Alcaraz (check out this comic strip of his, then subscribe to his Twitter feed and LAUGH).

Sure, there was outrage that hipsters would dare charge other people that much money for tacos that don't seem particularly remarkable (more on that in a bit). But I think most folks were offended at the very idea that tacos could be expensive, because mainstream thought has deemed that Mexican food should always be cheap and affordable as a reflection of Mexicans, who of course are universally humble and poor. A college professor friend of mine said as much when he posted on Facebook that folks should "support MEXICAN establishments that serve the people at prices made for the people. In other words, if regular gente are priced out, avoid."

My response: "At this point, that's virtually every restaurant except Del Taco...$1 for a taco? TOO MUCH."

And that's why, gentle cabrones, $12 for two tacos is not just not unreasonable--it's the future, unless we do something about it.


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Taco Bell's Parent Company Opens a Bánh Mì Shop...with Communist Star in Logo

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Fucking, seriously?

When I first heard that Yum! Brands, the parent company behind Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and KFC, was opening a bánh mì shop in Dallas, my reaction was muted. By that point, I wasn't even upset at the cultural appropriation-- I was already wearied from all of the pho sandwiches and pho burgers and pho not-phos. No, I figured if the shop ends up being kind of authentic and maybe turns some people onto Vietnamese food, then why not?

Banh Shop couldn't really be that bad, right?

And then Yum! did literally the worst thing they could realistically do: They stuck a communist star in their logo. Is Yum Brands just begging for busloads of elders from Little Saigon to loudly protest outside their new store for weeks?

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In-N-Out Pop-Up Sells Out in Toronto Before They're Even Open

Categories: Really?!?!?

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Courtesy Ganzi Osteria
Sending some love up North

Here's to living in Southern California, where you can more or less walk to an In-N-Out from anywhere, because it's easy to forget some people aren't that lucky.

Take Toronto, for example: Last week, In-N-Out sent a team up north to give the Canadians a taste of our favorite cheap burger. The result? An hours-long line that had to be cut off before the restaurant even opened.


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