Orange County Food Blog

The next time you find yourself in this dilemma, remember this: All you need is a wall and a somewhat sturdy shoe. And maybe some drunkass friends cheering you on en Français. Allez, allez!

Fish face.

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​Kudos to the former CHiPs actor--who I had a huuuuuuuuuuge crush on growing up. He's seemingly given up on starring in infomercials shilling dodgy swampland and is now the costar (along with Tony Stewart and Carrot Top) of the latest Burger King ad, where he plays on his reputation for having an unchecked ego (George Lopez still rants about how Estrada refused to shake his hand when he was a young, starstruck fan.)

He may not look as hot as in this classic photo, taken from his freeway-crime-fightin' heyday, but he's not bad for 60. Just one question: Where can I get those sunglasses?

If you didn't manage to get tickets to the MJ memorial at Staples Center tomorrow, fear not: you can probably still book a flight to Des Moines for the Iowa State Fair in August, when Jackson will be immortalized in butter.

For ten days, the dairy King of Pop will stand next to the fair's traditional butter cow.
 
Sculptor Sarah Pratt chose to portray the singer's famous moonwalk pose as a nod to the 40th anniversary of the moon landings this summer. Two years after that momentous event, the Jackson 5, including Michael, performed at the fair.

But, just so we're clear: "Pratt will sculpt the 1980s Jackson, all shining smile and curls, as opposed to his more recent drastically altered appearance: cleft chin, thinner nose and long, wavy hair."

Obviously, we can't show you a photo of the statue as it hasn't been sculpted yet, so instead we bring you a classic piece of music: "Weird Al" Yankovic's 1984 homage to Beat It.

Now all we need is for images of Jackson to start turning up on people's toast.

Update, August 18: The fair kicked off last week and runs till Sunday. The locals have nixed the idea of a butter statue of the Gloved One, so instead here's a (veeery slow-loading) link to ten others that have featured at the fair over the years. Check out Tiger Woods--creepy!

Am I the only one who finds the Baskin-Robbins "Ice Cream and Cakey Cake" commercial strangely addictive?

From the terminally bonkers song, a snippet of "Ice Cream and Cake" by the Buckwheat Boyz (I'm not making this up), to the ridiculous plastic dinosaurs, the whole thing is hilarious.
 
And cheap. They must've had change left over from $100, considering the only "stars" are six ice cream cakes (from $9.99 each) and a bunch of plastic figures.

And in a world where ads are getting longer and increasingly overblown, the ad is refreshingly short and simple, down to the "Yay" tagline.

I'm not sure we'll remember the tune in six months' time, let alone six years, but it is pretty catchy, as evidenced by the legion of YouTube clips featuring people dancing to the song. Yes, dancing to the song. This one has four and a half stars! (who rates this stuff?):




And, now, for the full lyrics. The pedants among you will notice the words are actually "ice cream n cake n cake", not "ice cream and cakey cake", but it all sounds the same, really.

And you have to agree--they are without doubt the most ludicrous lyrics you'll ever see or hear. All together now: slip, slip slip an slide.

Update, August 13: But wait, there's more! Baskin-Robbins have clearly seen the hysteria over the ad, and are now offering people the chance to win a cool (forgive the pun) $10,000 by performing the official "Ice Cream & Cake" dance. CLICK HERE to see the page and for details on how to enter. It gets no better!!!!!

Disclaimer: I've outright nicked this from our sister pub, SF Weekly.

CLICK HERE for the slideshow of gruesomeness.

But there must be some better examples out there (the Sausage McGriddles look like pure junk food heaven to me, and the carrot and raisin salad is hardly outlandish).

Admittedly, there are some howlers, namely the Pizza Hut Winter Double King Pizza and the McDonald's McAloo Tikki, which I've tried before. (Trust me: it's vile, although the fact I hate peas might have something to do with it).

So if you find anything weirder on your travels (whether in OC or further afield), please let us know. I, for one, would nominate Pret A Manger's Christmas Sandwich, which is exactly what it sounds like (turkey, sausage meat, cranberry sauce, lightly fried onions and arugula). If they'd skip the last ingredient it would be the best sarnie ever! But I still think it qualifies as "strange", because most people prefer their Christmas dinner on a plate.

The excellent British chain, sadly, has yet to make it to the west coast (there are outlets in NYC and DC), but they tell us they're not ruling it out. And, for what it's worth, here's a YouTube video entitled "New York View from pret a manger" (sic), which has to be the most pointless and least-watched clip ever?

The Onion has come out with what they call their "112th Annual Food & Dining Issue."

One of the gems? This video:

Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature

And you thought robots were just for vacuuming? Turns out they have other uses too, namely:

1. Cooking pancakes. Japanese savory pancakes (okonomiyaki), that is. These robots are high-tech and classy, remember.

2. Serving sushi (check out the weird fake hand!)

3. Slicing cucumbers. Really fast.

4. Bringing beer and snacks to you, on a tray, by voice recognition. Read that again. The future is here!

Here's a short video of the robots at work, at Tokyo's International Food Machinery and Technology Expo, which has just finished.

Apparently, the robots are designed to replace humans by taking over stressful, menial tasks. But how about the stress of losing your job to a robot, eh?

Just when you think you've heard it all, along comes a crazy person from Holland with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands (and presumably waaaaaaaaaaay too much pot in their hands).

Check out KFC's Dutch website: and click on Chicken Impossible.

It's the whole theme tune, from start to finish.

Think of the effort involved!

There are nine other tunes on the site too, but this one is the best--although I don't think that's the right word, somehow.

With pictures such as the one above. That is all. Click away by clicking here first!

First Bea Arthur and now Dom DeLuise? I can't take it any more!

DeLuise, who died in Los Angeles yesterday, at the age of 75, was known chiefly for his roles in such goofball movies as Blazing Saddles, The Cannonball Run and Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

But he was also a gourmet who enjoyed up lavish feasts for friends and family, and it was this love of food that he parlayed into a second career, with books such as Eat This... It'll Make You Feel Better! (not forgetting the catchy follow-up, Eat This Too... It'll Also Make You Feel Better) and stints on TV cookery shows.

To end, a clip from Fatso.
 
All together now: "You ate the ONY!!!!!!"

Seems that Vince Shlomi (also known by his sophisticated stage name, Vince Offer) is in the news again!

I'm not even going to comment on his recent arrest in Miami, because it makes me feel ill just thinking about it, but here's the link if you're interested (WARNING: it includes shots of Vince without makeup and hair gel).

I'm surely not the only one who finds his Slap Chop and Graty ads strangely mesmerizing. Aside from the bonkers product names (is it me or do they sound like Japanese cartoon characters?), there's the digustingness of the things he's chopping. Who would eat that crap?

And the testimonials of the "satisfied customers" whose lives the products have seemingly revolutionized. Get a grip, people!

But, wait, there's more!

Someone with waaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands has put together this hilarious rap, complete with snippets from the Breakin'... There's No Stoppin' Us video.

It gets no better.

In the interests of doing my bit to save the planet by recycling, I had to share this pure bit of British bonkersness with you.

It's a clip from a BBC show called "I've Never Seen Star Wars", in which comedian Marcus Brigstocke invites well-known guests to try new experiences, which they then grade.

In this case, comedian Hugh Dennis tucks into roadkill recipes, as prepared by the eccentric older guy on the left, who cooks and eats any dead animals he finds on the road, from otters to pheasants to bats, which, according to him, "taste like mice"--a useful frame of reference, I find.

Dennis gives the dishes, which include badger, otter and blackbird, a whopping nine out of ten.

I'm not sure what the local laws on roadkill are, but, until I happen upon a dead Wagyu cow at the side of the road, it's not something I'm going to worry about.

At first, Kimmel's jokes and the audience's laughter is done at the guy's expense, either because of his latent sexuality or his all-around geekiness.  But then it flips; the guest actually has hilarious things to show from his collection of Mac 'n Cheese boxes.  Even Andy Garcia ends up fascinated.

Somewhere in Springfield, USA, Homer Simpson drools, "Mmmmmm...World's Biggest Sandwich." 

Homer Simpson had the right idea all along.

But, really there are no words I need to preface this video with, except: MONKEY WAITERS!!!