Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Cop Car Stuck on Boulder!

Categories: Our Taco Hells

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Have you ever seen many cops at Taco Bell? Not in my experience, unless they're chasing criminals for this column. And that's how a cop ended up getting his car stuck on a boulder.

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McDonald's Zings Taco Bell Over "Ronald McDonald" Ad; Offers Free Coffee Until April 13

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https://twitter.com/McDonalds
Touché clown! Touché!
To counter the successfully engineered hype about Taco Bell's new breakfast waffle taco, which included a commercial where Taco Bell rounded up people actually named Ronald McDonald and got them to say they loved it, McDonald's has created a zinger of its own: a picture of Ronald, kneeling down to pet a very tiny Chihuahua, with the caption "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

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Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Man Gets Hit With Chair for Burping!

Categories: Our Taco Hells

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I must say that in my many, many years of reviewing restaurants--hell, eating at restaurants--I've been lucky to not see people unleash bodily functions in public. I've seen maybe three people vomit outside restaurants (and they were restaurants with booze, mind you), and cannot remember ever hearing someone burp or fart.

That must mean I'm not eating much at Taco Bell, which just saw a customer smacked with a chair because he burped. Yikes!

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Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Workers Charged with Killing Their Manager During Robbery

Categories: Our Taco Hells

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While we hear at Taco Bell Crime of the Week headquarters love to focus on the silly and crazy when it comes to crime at America's largest Mexican fast-food chain, some incidents are so horrific that we have to devote the column to them. And that's the case this week, with the news coming out of Alabama that two Taco Bell workers killed their manager during a robbery attempt.

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Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Man Runs into Taco Bell On Way to Emergency Room!

Categories: Our Taco Hells

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Here at Taco Bell Crime of the Week, we try to stay away from the truly tragic crimes. For instance, this past week saw the deaths of two people at Taco Bells. On the other hand, anytime anyone runs into a Taco Bell, that's weird news to us--especially if the poor sap behind the wheel was on the way to the hospital.

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Taco Bell Introduces Breakfast Waffle Tacos--Um, What?

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Years ago, a reporter with the New York Times asked me a simple question: what constitutes a taco? After thinking about it for a bit, I said it's a folded tortilla stuffed with ingredients.

"How about if it's a slice of bread, folded?"

No, I responded. It wasn't the form itself but content mixed with form--in other words, it's the folding of a tortilla for a singular meal that makes a taco. It's why the lettuce you use to wrap around cha gio doesn't make it a Vietnamese taco, why using rice paper in Korean BBQ doesn't make Korean tacos, and why getting a pita and wrapping it around shawerma doesn't make it an Arabic taco (unless, of course, it's a taco árabe).

But we now live in a postmodern, post-Reconquista world, so tacos are apparently whatever people deem tacos to be. And that's how we've come to this: Taco Bell has announced a push toward breakfast in March with the introduction of breakfast waffle tacos.

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Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Man Asks Underage Worker to Put His Booze in Fridge for Safekeeping!

Categories: Our Taco Hells

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I've never known of any Taco Bell to be a BYOB place, but maybe things work different in flyover country. Maybe things work different in Chickasa, Oklahoma, where a man gave a teenage Taco Bell worker a bottle to keep in the fridge...and the teen took it without question. HA!

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Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Store Manager Steals $500 to Buy Heroin

Categories: Our Taco Hells

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It takes a special type of worker to rise from mere peon to the administration: hard-working, smart, and...heroin-using to the point of stealing from your company? That is exactly what happened in Sandusky, Ohio, recently, when a Taco Bell store manager admitted to the crime.

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Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Medieval Sword Fight Turns into Drug Deal Gone Bad

Categories: Our Taco Hells

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There's been many a bizarre crime at Taco Bells over the course of this column's history, but this one may be a first: victims of a robbery claim they had gone to a Taco Bell parking lot to practice their medieval swordplay. Then, it turns out these errant knights were actually there to sell pot to teens--and said teens robbed them. Results? Three charges against the robbery victims--HA!

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Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Men Rob Woman Dying of a Brain Aneurysm at Drive-Thru

Categories: Our Taco Hells

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There are depraved crimes, and then there's the sick shit pulled by two men who came upon a woman in a Taco Bell drive-thru, dying of a brain aneurysm. Their response? Rob her.

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