Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Machete Attack in Guam!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Feb. 13 2012 at 1:30 PM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​It's rare that we go outside the continental United States for this column, even though Taco Bell does exist worldwide. But maybe all Bells should be considered extensions of the American empire, as even in a remote paradise like Guam (which, of course, is an American territory), people in Taco Bells go guano loco.

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Repeated Fender-Bender at Drive-Thru!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Feb. 6 2012 at 9:30 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​You know, sometimes I feel sorry for Taco Bell. They can't choose their customer base (actually, they can if they ever decide to create better product--but that's another story), so they inevitably receive the country's lowlifes, the kind of folks who drive drunk to the Bell late at night to eat, the kind who'll ram into your car in the drive-thru. And again. And again.

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Drunk Man Arrested for Stealing Order!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Jan. 30 2012 at 12:30 PM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​Lufkin, Texas, might be one of the greatest city names in the United States, right up there with Walla Walla and Jim Thorpe, but it's also the site of this week's crime--a drunk guy stealing someone else's order. Because the Bell is SO expensive . . .

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Drunk Man Makes Taco Run, Falls Asleep in Parking Lot!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Jan. 23 2012 at 9:30 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​Damn, how much is a .214 BAC? Twice the limit? Nearly three times, no? Anyhoo, someone that drunk was caught sleeping in the parking lot somewhere in Ohio.

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Introduces the "First Meal," AKA Breakfast

By Michelle Woo Thu., Jan. 19 2012 at 4:09 PM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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Taco Bell
The Crunch Wrap.
​Years back, Taco Bell started offering a Fourth Meal, but in reality, it was only the Third Meal, because it had yet to introduce a First Meal. . . . Wait, who's on second?   
 
Anyway, the Irvine-based chain is now rolling out that First Meal, better known as breakfast. The menu, which will be available in 750 locations by next Thursday, took five years of testing (and subsequent vomiting) to finalize.
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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Man Caught Trying to Steal from Charity Jar!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Jan. 16 2012 at 2:00 PM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​Have you ever wondered whether those charities that leave boxes at the cash register at restaurants are real? One of these days, I'm going to take the names of some of them and do a search on Guidestar.org to see if they're real...but even my immediate skepticism doesn't make me try to steal the money.

That, however, wasn't the case for a North Carolina man.
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Our Taco Hells

[UPDATED: Accused Speaks] Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Worker Steals $1,500 from Coworker!

By Gustavo Arellano Tue., Jan. 10 2012 at 12:30 PM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​
UPDATE: As you'll see in the comments below, someone claiming to be Mike Farmer, the man arrested for the crime described above, has left comments below claiming he's innocent. In the interest of justice, we present his story after the jump.
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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: The Funniest Little Taco Bell in Tracy, California!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Jan. 2 2012 at 1:00 PM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​Since it's a new year, let's start with an innocuous crime, in the hope Taco Bells won't host as many bad crimes anymore, the kind we largely stay away from here.

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Methed Out in the Drive-Thru

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Dec. 26 2011 at 8:00 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​Here at Taco Bell Crime of the Week, we get many a criminal who passes out drunk at the drive-thru window. But I do believe this weeks marks the first time I've found out about someone methed out.

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Teens Use $5 Bill Forged to Look Like $100 Bill at Drive-Thru!

By Gustavo Arellano Sun., Dec. 18 2011 at 9:50 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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​Never have bothered with forged money, although I used many a slug in my Street Fighter II days, back when 7-Elevens used to carry video games. But no way would I ever used a forged bill, ESPECIALLY if some doofus modified a Lincoln to look like a Franklin, then tried to used a $100 bill at a Taco Bell drive-through. Um, $5 IS like 100 bucks in the Yum! brand universe.

Of course, this could only happen in Georgia, in the awesomely named town of Dacula.
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