Our Taco Hells

Spotted in OC: A Bruxië-Esque 'Waffle Taco' At Taco Bell

By Michelle Woo Mon., May 13 2013 at 11:00 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells

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Brand Eating
Is Taco Bell trying to slide onto Bruxië's turf?

A Waffle Taco was spotted on the breakfast menu at locations in Newport Beach and Santa Ana. It's a folded round waffle filled with a sausage patty and scrambled eggs, served with a packet of syrup. Instagrammer Sarah Chavez, whose photo was picked up by Brand Eating, declared, "It was awesome!" Move over, McGriddle.

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Taco Bell Wrapper Mistaken for Bomb!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., May 6 2013 at 11:00 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells

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We live in jittery times nowadays, where any suspicious package is automatically assumed to be a bomb. But there's caution, and then there's stupidity, and that's what happened last week in Fair Oaks, California, where an errant Taco Bell wrapper caused a school lockdown and a bomb squad mission that found a mysterious ball of duct tape covered around...Taco Bell wrappers.

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Drunk Man Crashes Into Taco Bell!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Apr. 15 2013 at 9:00 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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I will say this about the drunk fans of Taco Bell: although I am strenuously opposed to driving while blotto, most lushes comport themselves well when having a hankering for the Bell. They usually cause their mayhem once falling asleep at the drive-thru, once engaging police in high-speed pursuits AFTER ordering, or act dumb while ordering inside. They rarely cause any actual damage to a Taco Bell--so Gregory Pflug of Delaware, SHAME on you for breaking your people's lucky streak by smashing into a Taco Bell while smashed.

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Man Sells Marijuana So He Could Go Eat at Taco Bell!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Apr. 8 2013 at 10:00 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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I feel for Taco Bell only for this: that their company (and, to a lesser extent, Del Taco) has been forever associated with drug users because drug users with the munchies love the high-calorie flavor explosion that is the entirety of the Taco Bell menu. How much do druggies like Taco Bell? One guy in Minnesota just got popped for selling pot so he could eat at the Bell.

WHAT THE HELL...

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Intoxicated in the Drive-Through with an 8-Year-Old

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Apr. 1 2013 at 8:30 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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Being found blotto (or high) at the Taco Bell drive-thru is an unsurprisingly frequent occurrence in the annals of this column. But being found out of it at the Taco Bell drive-thru with your eight-year-old child in the backseat? That's a first.

Oh, Clarksville, Tennessee: what would we do without your fine citizens?

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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Philadelphia Screamin'!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Mar. 18 2013 at 9:00 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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Philadelphia is in the news right now mostly because of a laughable piece of liberal guilt masquerading as journalism that appeared in this month's issue of Philadelphia. Taco Bell is in the news right now based in the monstrous success of their Doritos Locos tacos. And when the twain meet, it's--of course--in this column.
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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Man Assaults Teenage Family Member with Burrito!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Mar. 4 2013 at 1:00 PM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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As much as I try to push Orange County weirdness above all other regions, the undisputed king of bizarre crimes and bizarre EVERYTHING is Florida. You might've heard over the weekend about a sinkhole that swallowed a man in his home--just opened up, and that was that. But the real big story was the man who assaulted his brother-in-law with a burrito. Why can't this stuff happen in our OC?


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Mexi Meals

Horse Meat Found in Taco Bell Products in Europe

By Gustavo Arellano Fri., Mar. 1 2013 at 6:59 AM
Categories: Indigestion, Mexi Meals, Our Taco Hells, Really?!?!?
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It ain't Monday yet, so fans of "Taco Bell Crime of the Week!" will have to wait for their fill of wacky crimes with Enchiritos then. But a far more serious allegation has been made across the pond in Europe, where investigators say they have found horse meat in the products of Taco Bells in Britain.
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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Woman Accidentally Discharges Gun!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Feb. 25 2013 at 10:00 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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I'm all for gun rights--I myself have a Mossberg 550 pump-action shotgun, and have dreams of roaming the streets with it ala Omar in The Wire. But I also know that if you're waving a gun in public, you're going to freak people out. And I also know that if you try to clean your gun in public, stupidity will most likely ensue. And I know that if you try to clean your gun at a Taco Bell, stupidity WILL ensue, just like what happened to some woman in something called Airway Heights, Washington.
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Our Taco Hells

Taco Bell Crime of the Week: Man Runs Into Taco Bell Waving a Gun!

By Gustavo Arellano Mon., Feb. 18 2013 at 8:00 AM
Categories: Our Taco Hells
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I've driven past Oklahoma City before, only eating there once: at the horrific Taco Bueno chain, which, when I wrote about it, created a revolt of readers for reasons I can't remember anymore. It's main claim to Mexican food is a big one: that's the hometown of Rick Bayless. And I once remember seeing one of those Gangland specials talking about how OKC has had a Mexican gang for over 40 years, so I guess there's Mexicans there!

At least one: the one who rushed into a Taco Bell on Valentine's Day waving a gun.

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