I'm a liquor store yenta
. That's right; if I see you picking up one of those neon green bottles of margarita mix, or God forbid the bilious-looking piss-yellow bottle with the Cuervo
garbage already mixed in, I will come over and strike up and awkward conversation in which I try to convince you to buy something better, because that stuff is a one-way ticket to a hangover.See also:
- Five Ways to Tell a Great Tequila Bar From a Mediocre One
- Leyva's Liquors: Always, Always Your Last Stop Before Heading for the Border
- Four Reasons Why Patrón Tequila Is an Affront to Mexicans--And One Reason Why It's Not
The best is seeing people with a cart full of $35 vodka and $40 whiskey looking at José Cuervo Gold
. Why not spend $3 more and get something better? Did that Tracy Byrd
song ("I went ten rounds with José Cuervo-o-o...") really have such an impact on you?
And another thing... why are you spending so much money on sipping tequila? Is it the Cristal
effect, where the Don Julio
brands are the "cool" brands, so it's worth paying $50 for a fifth of tequila that half the bars in America serve ice cold anyway?
It's a nationwide epidemic, this affinity for bad or overpriced tequila, and it's time for it to stop. Read on for my opinionated, completely unbiased opinion after two decades drinking tequila here and in Mexico
. Don't like it? Tell me what a pendejo
I am in the comments--but show your work and leave your own suggestions!