That's Nerdalicious

Because really, nobody cares if your soup of the day is minestrone or split pea. Here are five restaurant (or bar or coffee shop) signs that make you stop and ponder.

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Flickr user slasher-fun

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Food with its own soundtrack. Kinda makes us feel dirty....

When we were talked into attending the Winter Fancy Food Fest in the Bay Area, we anticipated some hoity-toity finds. What we didn't count on was eccentric bites reminiscent of those Truly Tasteless Jokes books. Don't get us wrong-- they're all legit products. We just think creative fell more than thought outside of the box.

Here's what caught our attention and made us go WTF. Remember: Cray cray is in the eye of the beholder.
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Dave Lieberman

I'm a liquor store yenta. That's right; if I see you picking up one of those neon green bottles of margarita mix, or God forbid the bilious-looking piss-yellow bottle with the Cuervo garbage already mixed in, I will come over and strike up and awkward conversation in which I try to convince you to buy something better, because that stuff is a one-way ticket to a hangover.

See also:
- Five Ways to Tell a Great Tequila Bar From a Mediocre One
- Leyva's Liquors: Always, Always Your Last Stop Before Heading for the Border
- Four Reasons Why Patrón Tequila Is an Affront to Mexicans--And One Reason Why It's Not

The best is seeing people with a cart full of $35 vodka and $40 whiskey looking at José Cuervo Gold. Why not spend $3 more and get something better? Did that Tracy Byrd song ("I went ten rounds with José Cuervo-o-o...") really have such an impact on you?

And another thing... why are you spending so much money on sipping tequila? Is it the Cristal effect, where the Don Julio and Patrón brands are the "cool" brands, so it's worth paying $50 for a fifth of tequila that half the bars in America serve ice cold anyway?

It's a nationwide epidemic, this affinity for bad or overpriced tequila, and it's time for it to stop. Read on for my opinionated, completely unbiased opinion after two decades drinking tequila here and in Mexico. Don't like it? Tell me what a pendejo I am in the comments--but show your work and leave your own suggestions!
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Flickr User Chris Gilmore

Pictured: 80% of my college education

Let's face it: No one enjoys beer pong. It's a drinking game where four people are having fun while everyone else is crowded awkwardly around a table afraid that they're going to miss their team being called. It's a game of skill played during a time when most people can't even urinate standing up. When it takes too long, it's boring. When it goes too quickly, it's not fun.

Really, Beer Pong is a shitty drinking game. Luckily, if there's anything that UCI taught me, there's many better ones. These are my five favorites.

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Kartik Malik

Basically how I spend my life

The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is wake up my laptop and check Twitter. When I leave the house, the first thing I check for when I do my three-pat pocket test is my phone, not my keys or my wallet. The first thing I do when I get into work? E-mail. Then coffee.

Let's just say that the Internet is a big part of our lives now (I guess there's an argument to be made that I spend too much time online, but let's ignore that). But, despite how often the Internet finds itself in our pants, our homes, and our cars, I still run into websites that are just... horrible. Terrible. More »

Edwin Goei

You've read enough of these intros from the rest of the gang, so let's just get to my list of five favorite drinks, shall we?

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Mary Pastrana

I always go into these end-of-year lists thinking they'd be be a cinch to do. Then, I actually start doing it and realize how hard it is. No, it's not the writing part--that's easy; it's the winnowing process that's painful. It took me a day of deliberation to pare my original list of ten of the best restaurants I reviewed this year down to seven, and then to five. Unfortunately, South of Nick's and The Playground were number 6 and 7. But herewith is my final list. In each, I highlight at least one dish that made that particular restaurant great.

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