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The suits gave us Hi-Time gift cards for Christmas, and ain't Village Voice Media a swell company to work for? No sarcasm: I was ecstatic to buy something outside my bourbon/tequila/mezcal triumvirate that rules my liver, and scheduled a day to roam their many aisles.

I decided on a bottle of scotch and rum, and asked Dave for advice on the matter. He suggested some BalerMcGlenish or other, in a stately bottle befitting of Scotland. But for the rum, Dave said Pink Pigeon was my best bet. The name immediately put me off, then the bottle...look at it! It looks like an Affliction T-shirt, or a brew Gwen Stefani would sponsor. I immediately texted Dave that the bottle was fresa--literally "fruity" in Mexican Spanish, but really frou-frou. But Dave stood his ground, and so I bought the bottle.
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Dave Lieberman

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We'd been drinking cocktails at the bar after dinner at Laguna Beach's Broadway restaurant, and I thought I was being a smart-ass, challenging one of OC's best bartenders to make a drink with a relatively rare ingredient that doesn't mix well.
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Truth be told, when friends want to meet for drinks, our Switzerland is BJ's. Yet we found ourselves at The District one happy hour, and negotiations concluded at this other brewhouse. After scanning JT's booze options, the most intriguing choice also doubled as my "least likely to request".

The Whipped Cherry Pie martini conjured up twisted mash-ups involving Twin Peaks and 80s hair bands that weren't Bon Jovi. Oh, and models writhing on car hoods with come-hither looks. And I wanted to order that because?
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Photo by Charisma Madarang

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Shock Top drinkers and Corona die-hards often complain that stouts are simply too heavy for their delicate palates. Luckily, the Newport Beach Brewing Co. has a stout to ease newbs into this delicious territory. One of the grandaddys of OC's brewpub scene, Brew Co. is a cozy little spot along the Newport Peninsula filled with coastal accoutrements: surfboards, big screens to satiate Super Bowl fiends, wall art featuring Hawaiian babes straddling palm trees. Upon closer inspection of its colorful chalkboard of featured beers, you'll see the Lil' Cowboy Stout with "NITRO" scrawled next to it--perfect for the Corona crowd and lovers of stout alike. More >>

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Here's the plan ... we hit Mega Millions the next Friday it's worth hitting ($100 million, nothing less); we scoop the whole damn thing (no splitting it with a a group of minimum-wage warehouse workers in Wisconsin, most of whom would be broke in 12 months and living with their in-laws); we bag a bargain 4-bed penthouse on the sand in Laguna Beach (within staggering distance of more juice joints than you can shake a swizzle stick at); splurge on a wardrobe of Reyn Spooners, white slacks and sandals; buy the entire Rockford oeuvre, and study upon becoming a beach bum with style.

In anticipation of our upcoming good fortune, we're gonna don our 10-year-old Tommy Bahama number to go slurp a perfectly named libation, the Beachcomber, at Monarch Beach's premier evening destination, the elegant and welcoming Brio Tuscany Grille ... where the live music and dance floor light up five nights a week.
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Dave Lieberman

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Brea, you've got a master mixologist hiding in your downtown.

Yes, Two 40 South is a wine bar with a complex, self-service vacuum wine delivery system. Yes, most people are more interested in the barrel of Tobin James than cocktails. But it's not all wine, and there's a bunch of shockingly good Italian-inspired snacks--the pizza with San Daniele prosciutto and a fried egg is as good as most snack bars and pizzerias in Italy. The offerings in general are more Brescia than Brea, but that person in front of the imposing wine barrels, Felicia Chavez, knows how to mix one hell of a cocktail.
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Taylor Hamby

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The Allagash Brewery of Portland, Maine has combined two drinks that aught be kept separate in a night's worth of drinking, according to conventional alcoholic wisdom; tripel ale and bourbon. Good thing craft breweries defy conventional wisdom. Unlike the often-dastardly beer cocktail, Curieux isn't one part whiskey, one part beer, mixed, bottled and corked; instead, it takes Allagash's honey and fruit-sweet ale, Tripel Reserve, and ages it in Jim Beam oak barrels for eight weeks. They produce a limited batch each month; the September 2011 batch tested for this review had only 930 cases bottled. If you can resist the temptation, it's a fine ale to let age for a year and enjoy. Perhaps one of the best things about the beer--other than drinking it--is cooking with it. Several recipes are available on Allagash's website, like Allagash-Glazed Sliders with Curieux Carmelized Onions, Bacon and Blue Cheese.

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​I basically live at Memphis at the Santora, the grand dame of downtown SanTana's food scene, swimming through a sea of Manhattans and climbing mountains of bread pudding every week, if not night. We named them Best Bar last year, an honor well-deserved and one that they're not resting on at all. Their bartending crew is the Dallas Mavericks of our mixologist scene (quick thought: does that make the 320 Main crew the 1992 U.S. Olympic team?), with each cocktail master doing their bit to wow the public by whipping up new drinks at request.

If Johnny Sampson is Memphis' Dirk Nowitzki and Dave Mau its Jason Kidd, then Ricky Yarnell is Rodrigue Beaubois: the young gun learning at the altar of the masters, already possessing scary-good chops (not to mention a fabulous mustache). Memphis knows this, advertising every other Wednesday as "Wednesdays with Ricky," where Yarnell picks a theme and runs with it. Take his Stinger
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Photo by Meranda Carter

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"Ah, you're ordering a woman's drink!" the burly bartender bellowed after I ordered the Bee's Kiss a couple of weeks ago at the Bambú Lounge at the Fairmont Newport Beach, and my crew laughed. We agreed. In my defense, I had just downed a sturdy Manhattan up, a thin, small sheet of ice floating on top, its bourbon settling my nerves of inadequacy, being we were in a high-pressure meeting that night. I would've had another Manhattan, but I remembered the Kiss--made with honey harvested from hives on the rooftop of the Fairmont maintained by the Backyard Bees, the collective that rescues our buzzing pals from mean exterminators.

The drink came, looking a bit like a margarita. The bartender was right--it's a drink better suited for a gal who likes the tart stuff. But, to quoth Moe Szyslak, it wasn't without its charms. And to quoth Moe's following line (it's the Flaming Homer episode, 'member?), the Bee's Kiss is like a party in your mouth--and everyone's invited.
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Photo by Meranda Carter

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Scotland ... where the men wear kilts and the sheep are nervous. Home of the world's greatest Scotches, one of them being Drambuie that figures in over 100 drink recipes, including Kiltlifter, Ball Bag, Sexaholic, Felcher (after a sexual practice we are not gonna explain further) and, uh, Warm Woolly Sheep. Drambuie is the most un-whisky-tasting of Scotches. Sip it the first time and you're thinking liqueur and leggy, black-stockinged mademoiselles in smoky Left Bank bistros, late-night jazz clubs on Lake Como, strobe lights and pounding disco on Ibiza. Heather honey and secret herbs produce a sweet, perfect chaser for postprandial coffee. Drambuie has either a romantic heritage--the original rebel with a cause, Bonnie Prince Charlie of 1745--or the best, total-bullshit PR campaign of all time.

One of the 100-plus drinks is Napalm Death. It can be enjoyed at Dana Point's classy and friendly Casanova, one of the few places in the OC cosmopolitan enough to offer a patio for cigar aficionados. Sssmokin'!

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