It's all about the grilled onions.

I decided to end a day of puttering around my apartment by getting some air and taking my

Sunday Times up the street to the In-N-Out Burger on the corner of PCH and 2nd in Long Beach. For whatever reason, I was in a grilled onion mood for my Double Double, except I wanted the onions on the side, so I can slap 'em on my burger at my pace, rather than relying on a griddle jockey to do it for me. Simple request, no?

Umm, no. Even though I'd gotten grilled onions on the side many times before, the young lady behind the counter totally dee-nied me. I asked how come, then she wrangled a supervisor-type person, who explained that they can't give customers grilled onions on the side because the health department says thay can't.

The health department? Does this same health department know about such In-N-Out concoctions as the 100-by-100, seen in the photo here? Now that sucker is what I call a health hazard.

Turns out the reason a side of hot-off-the-grill onions are verboten is that the paper fry slips, which is usually what they're placed in when they're requested on the side, aren't considered to be a proper sanitary container. "We keep getting in trouble with the health department for doing that, so the company said that we can't offer grilled onions on the side anymore," said my cashier.

So, I'm pissed. Protesting Prop 8 suddenly seems like a waste of time, compared to this culinary injustice. OK, not really, but still . . .