« Ferdussi Out; La Terraza In | Main | Curly Tops »
Benihana--You Knew This--Sucks
Posted by Gustavo Arellano in Chain Reactions
November 18, 2008 7:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)
The greatest shame of my life is that my siblings--raised on the stove of a Mexican mami--loves crappy food. The eldest son of the Arellano clan has covered food for the Weekly for more than six years, knows all the great joints in Orange County--but they prefer Papa John's. I urge them to visit Rufino's, they elect Olive Garden. I say Ma's Islamic Chinese, they want Panda Express, orange chicken. So when my sister celebrated her 22nd birthday on Sunday and asked I picked a restaurant, I knew that whatever choice I could offer, it would inevitably turn into Benihana.
My siblings are a bunch of wabs? I've long ridiculed them for getting wowed like Iowans at the sight of chefs over a teppanyaki table flipping shrimp tails into their breast pocket. It's overpriced, it's vile, and I know many better Japanese restaurants with even wackier theatrics. I suggested we visit Kappo Suzumaru, or--if they wanted the yakitori experience--Shin Sen Gumi Ramen in Fountain Valley. We ended up at Benihana.
I will praise chain cuisine when required. Jack-'n'-the-Box has perfected legalized meth with their tacos. McDonald's still makes the best breakfast sandwich on earth--the Egg McMuffin--and its apple pie is with few peers. In-n-Out rules. So don't think that my hatred of Benihana has to do with my gastronomical elitism, or my over-romanticization of hole-in-the-wall restaurants. No, I don't like Benihana because the food is as gross as (insert your favorite Japanese fetish porno here).
Everyone in my clan of six went for specials that included:
1. Onion soup--more stale broth than twangy
2. Salad with wilted greens and a too-tart dressing.
3. Fried rice with too much butter--and I love butter.
4. Vegetables--again, with so much butter you couldn't taste anything else
5. A meat entree--passable.
6. Green tea.
Wanting to try something different, I ordered the chicken rice, which I discovered was the same rice everyone else enjoyed. I also asked for sauteed scallops--four puny guys for $8.
I paid $155 for the six of us, and all my sister got was a picture. AH!!!!!!!
The only worthwhile show was the cook--a Mexican--who was funny and charming, but if I wanted to get wowed by a wab, I'd call my cousin Victor.
Benihana, at any tourist trap/gabacho hell near you.
Comments (6)
Latest Posts
- My Sincerest Apologies to Tacos El Chavito
- Taco Bell Crime of the Week, Part VII
- The Hidden Kitchen at Rooster Cafe Will Be Gone After Feb. 20th
- The Laughable 2009 Zagat Orange County Guide
- Newport Beach & Orange County Restaurant Week Coming Soon
- Avanti Cafe International Tuesday Menu for January
- The Unluckiest 7-Eleven In Orange County
- The Whole Pita a.k.a. The Greek Island Grille a.k.a. Thasos
- California Shabu Shabu To Open in Costa Mesa
- A Joke Made at Hamamori's Expense
Categories
- At the Farmer's Market
- Bargains
- Chain Reactions
- Dining Digest
- Food Festivals
- Indigestion
- Local Eats
- News
- Now Open
- Our Taco Hells
- Out-of-County Experience
- Pictures, Vids and Other Non-Writing Excuses
- Really?!?!?
- Restaurant Closures
- Revisiting a Review
- Things To Look Forward To
- Wacky Snacks
- YouTube Cooking Shows
Monthly
RSS Feeds
OC Weekly Insiders
- Local food, music and news blasts
- Free Stuff
November 18, 2008 08:30
Hah, that is so my wife. I always try to find new and exciting places for us to go and then she counters with Taco Bell. Or I want to get some good Chinese and she wants Pei Wei. I'm slowly breaking her down from the habit, but it's a very slow process.
November 18, 2008 12:14
I have many wabby friends that love them some crappy chain food like Olive Garden and Benihana. There is more to life than chain restaurants! But you can't change Mexican tendencies to think they are "classy" if they go to these places we were all deprived of as children of immigrant parents, who would sooner make rice and beans than take you out to eat.
November 18, 2008 12:32
I feel your pain, Gustavo. That is my in-laws to a tee. But they also like nasty cheap buffets too. Ick.
November 18, 2008 17:28
First, if you have to go to Benihana, make certain it's by the airport (secret there!) .
Next, you blew it by not playing up the Spanish with the chef, that usually get's us an extra shrimp or two.
Lastly, You got off easy.....$155 for six?
Run for your life (and with your wallet) and stop at Tommy's for some real Japanese (or El Lucerro for late night taco's)
November 19, 2008 06:28
When someone suggests, "Let's go to Benihana", I say to them, "Beni-nah-uh!"
December 7, 2008 12:52
Ahh. This reminds me of the time my parents and I dropped off my sister at Berkeley, and when lunchtime came, despite the countless eclectic hole-in-the-walls in the vicinity, my father instead chooses..................
Yes. Tony Roma's.