We Eat It So You Don't Have To: Lay's Newest Novelty Chips
Photo by Ryan Cady Innocuous enough
Here's the deal with Cappuccino. I had a theory. When I first read about these chips, I, like yourself and any other sane heterotroph out there, gagged a little at the thought and shook my head. But then I did some thinking. The notion of a Cappuccino chip is so outlandish, so totally brain-dead-stupid-how-could-you-ever-think-this-was-a-good-idea, that I figured there had to be something more to it. I had concocted this narrative in my head, where like, late at night in the Frito-Lay lab some scientists are joking around about all the flavor submissions, and they see Cappuccino, and they're like, "Whoa, that's nuts, let's make a batch for the lolz," and so they work deep into the night with the kind of motivation you suddenly find when you're doing something for no particular reason, and when they finish, brows sweaty, fingers aching, they open up the oven, and maybe the lead scientist who has a slight German accent and is all enigmatic and stuff picks up one chip, and it's all glowing in the light of the lab and it's perfectly colored, and he takes the whole thing in his mouth and the whole lab is silent, and then he just cries out "It's beautiful!" because it was so unexpectedly delicious and that's why they had to mass produce and sell one of the most idiotic chip flavors I've ever heard of.
But no, like, that didn't happen at all.
These chips just suck, okay? Not like, oh man, these are sooo gross, you have to eat them. They're just unpleasant. The coffee-powder is strong but not so strong as to overpower the weird saccharine undertaste, and neither of those flavors create a "salty-sweet" dichotomy that Lay's was probably hoping for. I was so dumbfounded at the overall mediocre awfulness of the chip that I had to keep eating them...but honestly only for a couple bites, because they're really just bad. They smell bad, they look weird, and they taste bad - end of story.
If you're going in for the novelty chips this round, I say go for the Cheddar Bacon Mac 'n Cheese. No, it's not innovative and it's not gonna change your life, but it tastes good, and that's what matters when it comes to food. Wasabi Ginger is a really close second, but it needs some tweaking, otherwise it'll just underwhelm.
The other two? Don't waste your time. Grab a side of fries instead.