Five Terms Angelenos Need To Know To Order Dunkin' Donuts Coffee

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Cue the huge lines... glad I don't live around the corner anymore...
Dear Los Angeles:

Congratulations! You are about to (re-)embark on your Dunkin' Donuts experience. Camp Pendleton was nice, if you had access, and Barstow's a nice stop on the way to Vegas, but now Dunks is coming to the beating heart of L.A., opening on 12th and Wilshire in the People's Republic of Santa Monica on Sept. 2. More are coming, including here in Orange County, so it's time to see whether it will take off, or fizzle like Krispy Kreme.

I have bad news for you, though: you have to learn how to order coffee. See, there are no condiment stations at Dunkin' Donuts (except for that disgusting travesty of a Dunkin' Donuts in Penn Station, the shame of the entire chain). You tell the person taking your order how you want it, and there's a well-known jargon, as well known as In-N-Out's secret menu.

As a loyal, expatriated son of New Jersey, where Dunkin' Donuts has held total sway since I was a small child, I grew up speaking Dunkies' jargon, and since I love their coffee with a nostalgia only understood by Californians separated from their In-N-Out, I order it whenever I can. (I can take or leave their doughnuts, though; I actually prefer the doughnuts from the Cambodian Doughnut Cartel, except for the French crullers.)

Here, then, is how you order coffee in a Dunkin' Donuts. Don't argue: millions of people from Maine to Maryland cannot all be wrong, because, well, we're from the East Coast and we hate to be wrong.

1. "Coffee Regular"

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Those were the days...

Coffee regular--your choice whether to drop the final R as we do back East--has nothing to do with caffeine. It means two sugars and two creams for a small, 3 and 3 for a medium, and 4 and 4 for a large. Notice that it is not "regular coffee", but "coffee, regular".

2. "Coffee Light and Sweet"

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Donuts!

This is just like coffee regular, except it's one size up--so a small light and sweet is 3 sugars and 3 creams, a medium is 4 and 4, etc.

3. "Coffee Dark"

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Coffee with one fewer cream, so 1 cream for a small, 2 for a medium, etc. Notice that coffee dark still has cream in it.


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22 comments
melanie.dibiasio
melanie.dibiasio

Since when does Dunkies not have condiment stations? Every one I've been to has at least one, if not two. 

yurkillinmelogins
yurkillinmelogins

How would I order a small coffee with lots of cream, no sugar?  Light?  White?  Light NOT sweet?  

SeanOC
SeanOC

I live in Boston.

We order by size at Dunkies

Medium Regular.

Large Dark

Small Black etc etc

Rick Hale
Rick Hale

How about Dunkin' Donuts, 5 Guys, and all the transplants just head back to the east coast? Korean donut stores are all we need here in SoCal.

MeToo
MeToo

I miss Winchell's!! :-( 

Adam Griffith
Adam Griffith

I always take it sweet and white just like me

O.c. Kushman
O.c. Kushman

God, I'm glad they are coming out here to SoCal. I have missed it since moving here.

Sandy Lopez
Sandy Lopez

Also coming to Whittier, Mintebello, Rosemead ? & Downey soon.

Daniel Burrola
Daniel Burrola

Lmfao... WHY?? There's so many better donuts out there.

Jessica Lopez Lisowski
Jessica Lopez Lisowski

Yeah I knew there were a FEW around but none of those are close to me at all, I'm in the Diamond Bar area

Je'Nai Maureen Lee
Je'Nai Maureen Lee

Daniel, my main motivation for my move to Austin was Dunkin' Donuts lol go figure!

Anna Apodaca
Anna Apodaca

Omg....I live in LH, and I wish I knew those sooner..I hate going there because of that..lol, what a dummy I am

Shannon Tiare
Shannon Tiare

urgghhh i was wondering when we would finally get a DD that wasn't in the middle of BFN

Christina Marie
Christina Marie

I tried to do it this way both at camp Pendleton and in Vegas and they didn't get it so I think they may be training the west coast people differently

Dave Lieberman
Dave Lieberman

Camp Pendleton, Barstow, and as of next Tuesday, 12th and Wilshire in Santa Monica. There are a dozen or more planned to open in the next 12 months in OC, LA and SD.

TrippyFoodVal
TrippyFoodVal

For the exact same reason "Why In-N-Out" when there are so many better burgers out there.

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