British Newspaper Teaches Readers "How to Eat Nachos"

Categories: Mexi Meals

alertos_super_nachos.jpg
Photo by the Elmo Monster
Take these nachos and shove 'em, limeys!
Mexican food in earnest has only existed in Great Britain since around the early 1980s. In the past decade, however, restaurants like the terribly named-yet-not-bad Wahaca and pubs across the land have expanded the palates of limeys beyond curries--good for them.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help but to laugh at a recent article published by the esteemed Guardian advising readers on how to eat nachos. I understand the importance of telling the curious how to consume, say, tequila or a clayuda...but nachos. That meal that consists of chips, cheese, and whatever else you want to dump on it? Sure, you can try to class them up, but teaching someone how to each nachos is like teaching someone how to inflate a bike tire--it ain't exactly mole-making, you know?

The article is here, and you know it's full of whatever the Cockney rhyming slang is for shit when the author tells readers NOT to put refried beans, describing them as a "great adhesive if you are tiling a kitchen floor, otherwise mystifying"--this, coming from a culture that thinks baked beans and toast make a breakfast. Reading it is like peering into a time machine to the first English-language descriptions of Mexican food back in the 1880s--hip hip cheerio adiós mother fucker!

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38 comments
FloodOfBlood
FloodOfBlood

Don't tell me how to eat nachos, Guardian.

Robert Belmontez
Robert Belmontez

Went to London last October and their "Mexican food" sucked! One of the places thought they could get away with playing Cuban music in their restaurant. SMDH

mister_ecks
mister_ecks

Seems remarkably spot on. I don't think they have carne asada or carnitas over there, so of course they say no to meat. Otherwise, exactly how I like my nachos. Cheese sauce is revolting.

Don Mexico
Don Mexico

have you seen their teeth? of course you need someone to teach them how to eat nachos when you only have gums.

Sue Burns
Sue Burns

I was about to get all butthurt as a British expat, but then realized I spent last month in England. Walked into a "Mexican" restaurant and walked out laughing.....went for fish and chips instead.

Debi Teter
Debi Teter

Melted cheese sauce? Ugh. No...cheese, yea. Beans for sure, salsa...yeah if you want it spicy. But...melted cheese sauce, no. (Sorry, I live in Mexico now. That thought just made me shudder)

Tony Vo
Tony Vo

Is that some super nachos I see

Miguel Berumen
Miguel Berumen

What is sad about "mexican" food is that it's not even traditional Mexican food, even in Mexico today it hard to find authentic Mexican food. My abuelito is 94, he has no idea what the hell is a chimichanga, nachos, burritos, and all this ready made tamales are killing one of our greatest cultural treasures. Today my friends ask me to cook Mexican food and they ask for Nachos, I tell them to get the F%$^ out of my face with that crap, I make them Mole poblano, Enchiladas de pipian, Huitlacoche and Pumpkin flower sprouted corn empanadas, Quelite salad with nopalitos in salsa verde, Peanut/chipotle sauce turkey with amaranth, agua de chia with fresh papaya, jicama and guava salad (con chile y limon), that's our Mexican food that the UNESCO made intangible cultural heritage shared only with French, Mediterranean and Japanese, and you know where half of the ingredients French and Mediterranean use in their cuisine comes from?

Tanya Romero
Tanya Romero

"each" nachos? hum...so we eat and they each? haha

Orange County Antique Market
Orange County Antique Market

OMG I think it is lunch time and that looks AWESOME! SO hungry! I want mine with a cold beer hold the tequila.

Brainwashed_in_church
Brainwashed_in_church topcommenter

They had to make nachos in England because they couldn't make computers. And the reason they couldn't make computers is because they couldn't figure out a way for computers to leak oil.


Lynn Maners
Lynn Maners

I'm waiting for a personalized delivery of Santa Maria brand Swedish taco sauce/salsa. Photos from traveler show lots of "Mexican"/"Tex-Mex" items in the grocery store...

Kristy McDaniel
Kristy McDaniel

They lost all credibility when they said not to use meat on nachos.... the picture you show, looks amazing, theirs, looks (as a man commented on their site) as though it had already been eaten and regurgitated.

Steven Aguirre
Steven Aguirre

I'm contributing with my half Mexican half limey child being born next month over here. 1st solid food will be frijoles!

Jessica Rhynalds
Jessica Rhynalds

Britain seems to be lacking in both common sense and quality news sources. #ocweekly is the best, maybe u can #ghostpost for them

20ftjesus
20ftjesus topcommenter

I nearly starved to death in England.  Walk into a Tesco sometime to see the difference.

Too bad, because their women have such big beautiful breasts. 

GustavoArellano
GustavoArellano moderator editortopcommenter

@20ftjesus That, the ladies do...although melike Ruskis more in that department #marinavisconti

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@GustavoArellano @20ftjesus


... the Brit women seem to have a genetic predisposition for exceptionally large, globular, pendulous mammaries ..


... along with bad dentition.

The Russian dolls buy theirs from the nearest silicone emporium.

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