The Worst Kickstarter Ever: Pony Up Money Right Now For A Pruno Bucket

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Kickstarter
I have funded some truly awesome things on Kickstarter, including Taco Maria and the Grippit (if you've ever tended bar, you understand). There are Kickstarters for many worthy items.

Then there's this Kickstarter by a guy from Idaho named Joshua, for a thing that allows you to make pruno in the comfort of your own jail cell.

The Bootlegger Bottle (thank God, not affiliated with one of our favorite local breweries) is a swing-top bottle with beads of yeast in a perforated container. Their slick, professional video--you can't have a Kickstarter without a slick, professional video--suggests that as a connoisseur, you want the freedom to ferment fruit juice in your own home.

"Connoisseur" in this case appears to mean "prison inmate"; as we all know from watching Burn Notice, fermenting fruit or fruit juice is how prisoners get drunk. It's good to know that if you swipe some sugar packets from Starbucks, you can turn your grade-schooler's juice box into a 28-proof brew that will make every other hangover you've ever had look like a walk in the park.

I'm not sure what you're supposed to make outside of the correctional environment; even tepache and tejuino aren't made in plastic cups with reusable yeast that looks like molecular gastronomy cum drops. The video doesn't allow for any other use--could you make wort in it, then ferment it and add hops, thus making some intensely terrible beer, for instance?--which makes me wonder whether they're in high school.

Yet this Kickstarter has made over $20,000 and is well on the way to meeting its goal of providing Americans with the ability to savor that tangy brew that happens when your six-year-old leaves a plastic container of juice in the back seat of the minivan. As P.T. Barnum never actually said, there's one born every minute.

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