The Poorman's OC '4 Under $6': Rating The OC Public Toilets
"When you have to go, you have to go". We've all been there, and, for sure, we'll all be there again. Nature calls, and you can't wait! You have to go to the bathroom, but you're not at home. Oh no! Where do you go? IT'S AN EMERGENCY! The answer is: You find the nearest public toilet (or risk an internal accident). What kind of public toilets can you expect?
In this week's The Poorman's OC '4 Under $6', I give you a sneak peak at ten OC Public Restrooms and rate them. Each restroom was visited just once. We utilize The Poorman's very own zero to five Poorstars sliding scale of inexpensive excellence, with five being the best. Ratings were based on cleanliness, smell, ambience, and the toilet/restroom itself on a normal day of operation. So, let's get started and take a look at public toilets of the OC!
Bringing you this informative "journalism" involved considerable risk to life, limb, and my arrest record. I had to secretly shoot these facilities when no one else was in the bathroom. The photo shoot involved a very small window of time during a lull in latrine traffic. That meant hanging in the toilet for quite a while pretending to be "busy" while soaking up the sight, smell, and ambience.
On an even more personal note, whenever I go into a public restroom, I'll try not to touch anything. Many times, I open the door with my shirt or a paper towel and flush with my shoe. When it's time for number two, I'll put down two toilet seat paper linings after 1st wiping the seat with TP numerous times along with several pre flutings. By the way, I'll only go number two in a public restroom if it's absolutely necessary. There's nothing worse than doing it in a row of stalls and hearing the "plop, plop" and farting next door. Gross!
Before we actually get down and dirty with the toilet reviews themselves, a few overall
observations: Every public restroom that I visited was 'freeeeee' to use. There were no encounters with dreaded 'pay toilets'. Obviously, being male, I did not review any women's rooms (no, I didn't dress in drag and sneak in). Most of these restrooms did not stink. Only one had a horrific, overpowering skunk odor. The architectural style of many of the toilets was a cold and austere metal, similar to what you'd find in a prison cell. Many were co-ed, of the single occupancy variety. Toilet paper and paper towels, when provided, were at least adequate.
1. Newport Beach Pier
The outside is the most amazing looking restroom building you've ever seen, while the inside reminds one of a cold, austere, prison toilet. What were they thinking when they built this? This is Newport Beach, not San Quentin! There are millions of residents and tourists who visit the Newport Pier each year. There are no doors when you take a dump! Just what I want to do, sit on the toilet and wave to everybody in mid-BM. What a horrible planning decision. Disgusting. Unacceptable. Aren't there enough city funds to build doors? In addition, it looked like they forgot to hire a cleaning person (see the picture above). This toilet is a huge embarrassment to the city of Newport Beach.
Cleanliness: Disgusting. I even found floating doo doo. Smell: Stinks. Ambience: No stall doors ruins everything. I'd rather use the ocean. Toilet/Restroom Itself: Outside is beautiful, but the inside looks like a prison restroom.
RATING: 0 Poorstars.
My next toilet destination was the Brea Mall. I visited the restroom right next to the Food Court, a very busy facility given that thousands of people eat their meals there all day long. It was a clean, smell-good facility.
I was there during a week day lunch hour. It looked like the cleanup crew may have been distracted during their "cleanup mission". There was a lonely orange cone sitting in the middle of the floor (see pic). Why? Did the cleanup guy forget to take it with him, or was he setting up a traffic detour? Maybe they were turning the restroom into a 'Drive Thru'. Also, one of the urinals sat wrapped up in plastic surrounded by several 'Out Of Order' signs (see pic). You'd think they'd want to have all this cleaned up and repaired prior to a busy lunch hour. It kind of ruined the entire bathroom experience.