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Bartenders Tell All: What Your Drink Says About You

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Someone on Reddit posed a question to bartenders: "What do drink orders say about people?"

The responses that followed are enlightening and pretty hilarious. Redditor pres82 wrote this definitive guide. (Note to self: No White Russians ever.)

Kamikaze: I have no idea what to order.

Long Island: I'm here to get fucked.

Shot of Fernet: I'm from San Francisco.

Shot of Grey Goose, chilled: I have no idea what I'm doing.

Jäger Bombs: It's my new fuckin' hair cut!

Apple-tini: I don't like the taste of alcohol.

Johnny Walker Blue: I have more money than sense; I hope it impresses you.

Sazerac: I know what I'm doing.

White Russian: I have never worked in a bar before, so I possess a fool-hearted confidence that the milk in your reach-in has not expired.

Patron Margarita: I wish to spend $12 on a drink that will taste exactly the same as its $8 counterpart.

Rail Tequila: I'm here to blackout and get butt-fucked by a stranger.

Hennessy and Coke: "Can you guys play some rap music?"

PBR: Hipsters don't tip.

Gin Rickey: I just read The Great Gatsby for the first time.

Vodka Redbull: I'm gonna butt-fuck a blacked-out stranger tonight.

Cuba Libre: I'm too cool to say rum and Coke.

Red Eye: I just saw Cocktail for the first time.

Blue Moon: I'm a girl. "Can I get two orange slices?"

Three Wise Men: I'm gonna fight someone tonight.

Blowjob: "OMG! It's my bachelorette party--woo-hoo!"

Sex With an Alligator: I want to watch you fail at layer shots.

A shot of X split Y ways: I am from South Carolina.

Rail Vodka: My ID is fake.

Martini: "Oh . . . um . . . gin, I guess. NO, NO, NO! Vodka. Yeah. Shaken. Um . . . dirty? Whichever way has olives."

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