Diatribe with Dave: Eight Restaurant Courtesies You've Probably Never Heard Of

Every second and fourth Wednesday night of the month, legendary bartender/chef/restaurant insider Dave Mau hosts Dinner with Dave at Memphis at the Santora, where he treats drinkers to a free meal and live music as the evening progresses. To remind ustedes of this great night, Dave treats us every Wednesday morning that he's on to a random OC food or drink musing of his choice. Enjoy!!

The F&B biz can be nerve-wracking, strangely addictive and, if you are truly cut out for it, there is probably no way you are ever going to get away. Whether it's working the line, running tables or pouring drinks, it's a tough enough way to make a buck and when you put the people factor on top of that you have a recipe for breaking even the hardiest of souls. When that happens you don't need to wonder where that first time server you just spent two months training went to. They couldn't take the heat and went back to work at Costco stocking shelves.


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The X factor in any restaurant situation is always the clientele. Depending on how you handle and/or read who is sitting at your table or bar, that guest can have either the best or worst of nights. But there are a few things our public can do to make our lives easier as well. Here are the most glaring "DO NOTs"


1. Calling just before you get there does not count as making a reservation


I used to get this all the time at a former shop, usually people rushing to make a show at Segerstrom Hall. It went like this:


"Thanks for calling The ReTreat, this is Dave"


"Yeah, I'd like to see if I could make a reservation"


"Yeah, for sure. What date?"


"Oh, it's for this evening"


"We're pretty booked tonight but I might be able to fit you in. What time?"


"We'll be there in 5 minutes"


-"click"- (Me hanging up)


"Hello.....?"


Someone realizing after they get in the car that they forgot to make a reservation isn't the shop's problem; it's theirs. Just drive.


(I also like it when people call asking "Where are you located?" I reply, "I'm standing behind the bar next to the phone. Where are YOU located??")

2. Showing Up 10 Minutes Before Closing Won't Get You a Relaxed Dining Experience

There is an unwritten rule in the The Biz that most people won't tell you about: If it's not particularly busy, the shop is probably going to start breaking down a half hour or so prior to the actual closing time. I'm not defending those that say they are open 'til 10pm but close at 8:30 because it's slow. But seriously: showing up right before the joint closes and acting all poopy because you can't sit there for two hours dining is not only rude but also unrealistic. Don't even think about calling and asking them to stay open an extra fifteen minutes because you are running behind (yes, I've gotten that).

3. Self-advocate, But Don't Expect a Restaurant to Cater to Every Ingredient Whim

A restaurant is only obligated to serve you sanitary food in a timely fashion at a (hopefully) decent price. Everything else is icing on the cake. I've seen some really self-entitled douche bags get all bent out of shape when they didn't get their way and I've seen others who were gracious, played nice and got what they wanted. It's all the rage to pander to any perceived or real ingredient issues and there are plenty of shops that are sympathetic to that. Just don't expect all of them to feel that way and be appreciative when they do.

4. Curb the Rug Rats

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Everyone likes kids but, let's face it: some are better behaved than others. Be considerate if yours aren't and leave them at home. Remember: it's the kids' job to behave themselves in public, not everyone else's job to put up with them. And if they can't do that take them to the child combat zone on the family side of Zubie's Dry Dock in HB.

5. Don't Plate-Stack

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Your server doesn't show up at someone's work trying to help write mortgages, sell cars or otherwise jump in--don't do it to them. I get it if the server is slacking and you want those plates out of your way, but if it's plain 'ol busy let them be. I've seen some stacks that looked like the leaning tower of Pisa and there is nothing worse than sticking your hand under a plate only to have it coated with béarnaise from the one it was sitting on.


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8 comments
Melissa Sydney Childress
Melissa Sydney Childress

I disagree with you on number one. Calling ahead IS a courtesy. So, maybe you don't have any openings. Tell the patron that and move on. If they had walked in 20 minutes later would you not have them wait for a seat?Calling right before they arrive is there way of putting their name on the list so they are that much closer to getting a table when they do arrive. And number four...Really? Get over yourself. I HATE taking my 2 year old anywhere because it frustrates the crap out of me, but I also don't have to sit at home and stare at the wall because leaving the house with my daughter can/will be inconvenient somewhere within the trip. You and everyone else on this planet was once a two year old exploring life. Take a second to live in someone else's shoes before you knock them.

squirrelylove
squirrelylove

I disagree with you on number one. Calling ahead IS a courtesy. So, maybe you don't have any openings. Tell the patron that and move on. If they had walked in 20 minutes later would you not have them wait for a seat?Calling right before they arrive is there way of putting their name on the list so they are that much closer to getting a table when they do arrive.

And number four...Really? Get over yourself. I HATE taking my 2 year old anywhere because it frustrates the crap out of me, but I also don't have to sit at home and stare at the wall because leaving the house with my daughter can/will be inconvenient somewhere within the trip. You and everyone else on this planet was once a two year old exploring life. Take a second to live in someone else's shoes before you knock them.

dale_c
dale_c

Best answer ever for where you are located

Sandy Baumgardner
Sandy Baumgardner

Too bad we don't get to enjoy #4 in our culture of entitlement. I've even seen TWO posts on FB in the last month from friends who've had their restaurant dining experience *enhanced* by diaper changes at the next booth.

Finn_McCool
Finn_McCool

@Melissa Sydney Childress @squirrelylove Dave writes the column, Dave has the juice on this blog & in the food biz to tell you what you aren't clear-headed enough to know already. ... Calling ahead is a measure of time - calling 5-20 minutes out on a  busy night is stone bullshit. Dave knows it and so does anyone over the age of four who's ever worked a wait of 45 minutes on a night where you sell 300 covers... As for kids - saying "we were kids once" could be the lamest retort since "I know you are, but what am I?" That's no kind of rejoinder.  My old man was a bartender, I was raised to eat civilly in a public place, not scream like a banshee when I didn't get my cheerios. I ate and smiled, from age one onwards, until I was old enough to pay my own check and speak up for a change. If you HATE to take your two-year old out, don't. Stare at an interesting wall. Have the kid paint it and liven the place up. Your ability to procreate is evident - my obligation to endure your poor parenting is not. If your child causes a ruckus, stay home and don't be a menace to the mannered. I know dozens of people who take their kids out to eat and those kids behave. Try that approach before you rebuke Dave for speaking restaurant gospel.

Finn_McCool
Finn_McCool

@squirrelylove Dave writes the column, Dave has the juice on this blog & in the food biz to tell you what you aren't clear-headed enough to know already

Calling ahead is a measure of time - calling 5-20 minutes out on a  busy night is stone bullshit. Dave knows it and so does anyone over the age of four who's ever worked a wait of 45 minutes on a night where you sell 300 covers. 

As for kids - we were kids once. And because my old man was a bartender, I was raised to STFU in public. I ate and smiled, from age one onwards, until I was old enough to pay my own check and speak up for a change. Your ability to procreate is evident - my obligation to endure your poor parenting is not. If your child causes a ruckus, stay home and don't be a menace to the mannered. I know dozens of people who take their kids out to eat and those kids behave. Try that approach before you rebuke Dave for speaking restaurant gospel. 

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