Dave Reviews OC Yelp Reviews, Part 9

Categories: Review Reviews

Dow L.'s 5-star (or is it 2-star?) review of Tulsa Rib Company:

Let me get this straight. You had an incorrect credit card transaction and you decided the thing to do was to go on Yelp and complain about it? What if they hadn't been reading Yelp? Why the hell would you not just call the restaurant the next day (pro tip: call between 2 and 5 p.m., when the staff will have the most time to help you) and spend ten minutes getting it straightened out? Is your time really worth $60 an hour even when you're not at work?

I'm glad they were consummate professionals--they're nice people anyway--but you need to stand up for yourself instead of whining like a quasi-anonymous idiot on the Internet when you're wronged.

Stacy P.'s 4-star review of Albertsons:

This is one of my favorite types of Yelpers: the person who studied something and is therefore an expert. The would-be expert's qualification of their bona fides usually takes the form of "Trust me, I studied this" or "I work in the medical [or whatever] field, so I know." I mean, I studied Portuguese and anthropology, but I'm not in high demand in either of those fields.

There's a little organization out there, Stacy P., called the Orange County Health Care Agency; they're the inspectors who make sure the people selling food are adhering to food service standards. They come by multiple times a year and do things like take the temperature of the holding units to ensure food doesn't come into the danger zone of 40ºF to 140ºF. The fact that the open-sided refrigeration units continue to be used is proof that they satisfy the professionals who do this every day. Your milk is not spoiling in there. Sorry to contradict your food handler's certificate or whatever.

Bryan H.'s 3-star review of Capital Seafood:

Let's get this straight. You went to a Cantonese seafood restaurant famous for its dim sum in the mornings and its fresh-from-the-tanks seafood preparations in the evening; you ignored the entire menu, including the gwailo-friendly items like sweet-and-sour fried fish and steamed Alaskan king crab legs with garlic noodles, and ordered multiple kinds of fried rice? Then you decided only the pineapple fried rice was any good and called the restaurant mediocre?

Here's a little lesson in Chinese culture for you: at a Chinese banquet, fried rice comes out last because it's what you use to fill up any empty pockets in your stomach; the idea is to leave most of it in the dish to show the host that they served so much good food that you can't possibly finish the last course.

In other words, fried rice, pineapple or otherwise, is a complete afterthought in any authentic Chinese restaurant. Next time try some actual dishes; they're better than you'd think. If you're too squeamish to order things like whole fish or winter melon soup with scallops stuffed into the hollow cores of the melon slices, at least try some actual protein next time. Then update your review.

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