Today in the Red Pencil Diaries: people who actually manage to stuff relevant content into a few sentences! Yes, there are actually succinct Yelp reviews that don't totally suck! (Shocking, isn't it?)
Sadly, they are far outweighed by people who change their minds without telling anyone why, and the dread fake Yelp reviews, which come in two flavors: "I didn't eat here but I hate it anyway," and "I'm reviewing before it even opens."
Keep Yelping, Yelpers. You give me an inexhaustible source of writing material.
Bill E.'s 2-star review of La Palma Chicken Pie Shop:
Reviews don't have to be carefully wordcrafted to be effective. I share Bill E.'s opinion of the execrable, salty pot pies at La Palma Chicken Pie Shop, but I have to say I never would have thought to say, "I think the employees smoked all the pot and now it is just CHICKEN PIE." I'm never going to look at those blue-haired old waitresses the same way again.Edward C.'s 4-star review of Liang's Kitchen:
Short, sweet, and to the point. It tells you what they're known for--beef noodle soup--gives a short critique of it, and tells you what it's being compared to. It'd have been better had he given critiques of other dishes he'd eaten there, but this is actually Yelp gold right here.