Dave Reviews OC Yelp Reviews, Part 4

Categories: Review Reviews
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Yelpers who blame liquor stores for their bad childhood memories of dense Ashkenazi Jewish cookies; Yelpers who expect fast-food employees to actually care about their jobs or the food they make; Yelpers to whom large festival signs are Greek. Yes, it's time for another round of analyzing what passes for food criticism in OC's little corner of the Yelp monster.

Isn't it amazing that people have absolutely no sense of self-editing? Yelp can be useful or entertaining. Usually, though, it's an untamed gusher of raw mental dithering, like reading James Joyce bitching about six minutes without an iced tea refill. Read on!

Traci W.'s 1-star review of Taco Bell:

Honey, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but putting an ABC (already been chewed) quesadilla back in the steamer (it isn't a griller) is the least of the infractions you're likely to encounter at a Taco Bell. Especially this Taco Bell, which pretty much exists to serve as the "before" example in a spectacularly low-budget can-this-restaurant-be-saved show.

Jessica G.'s 3-star review of the OC Greek Fest/St. John's Greek Festival:

I have been to the Greek festival every year for the last few years, and every year I notice that they do a fantastic job of cunningly hiding the chicken under an enormous sign that says, "CHICKEN SOUVLAKI". Seriously, unless you were standing within 500 feet of this sign, you would have no idea that there is chicken available in souvlaki form. We've submitted a request to the festival organizers to remove the confusing Greek word "souvlaki" and replace it with "CHUNKS OF CHICKEN PUT ON A METAL THINGUMMY AND BURNED WITH FIRE" for next year's tents.

You do get lots of points for your deft use of both kinds of slashes when making the dejected emoticon, though. =/ =\

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