Newport Beach School Officials Try to Suspend Student for Bringing Kombucha to School

Categories: Indigestion
kombucha.jpg
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I am not a fan of kombucha, the fermented drink that health nuts swear by, but that doesn't mean I'm going to impose my beliefs on others. If people want to drink that fizzy stuff, then God bless them. If a mom wants her child to drink some, awesome. But woe is the idiotic school official who catches a student with a bottle of kombucha, thinks it's alcohol because they don't know any better, has the poor kid interrogated by police officers, then tries to suspend the child for five days for possession of an "alcoholic" beverage (kombucha usually has a miniscule amount of alcohol due to the fermentation process), and get the student enrolled in a teen-alcoholics program.

Yet that's exactly what happened last week at the Newport-Mesa Unified School District, where school officials not only did the above actions to a boy, but are now desperately trying to spin their way out of an embarrassing situation

The story was first broken by The Healthy Home Economist after the boy's mother contacted them, and immediately sparked outrage among the kombucha community and civil libertarians alike. Enough of them must've called Newport-Mesa officials that they took the pains of issuing a press release on Friday claiming they hadn't suspended the student (all they had done was make the student sign paperwork that would've earned him a five-day suspension, but then the school principal decided to suspend the suspension) and explaining that Newport Beach police officers just happened to be on campus (the school has yet to be identified) and "participated in a routine discovery process"--i.e., they interrogated the poor kid without having any clue as to what kombucha is.

Man, just when you think Orange County can't look any stupider, someone comes along to bring us back to our pendejo fold. Stay classy, Newport-Mesa!

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26 comments
enginecapt
enginecapt

There's a "kombucha community?" Who knew?

18USC241
18USC241

@GustavoArellano this is why I'm afraid to drink a Goya malta out in public here even 30 years later lmao

FoleyforSchools
FoleyforSchools

@Omarmasry @ocweeklyfood this was done without district knowledge by the principal. It has been addressed and won't happen again.

Katie Pyle
Katie Pyle

Some brews have a 1% to 1.5% alcohol content. It's functionality is medicinal. And I'd bet that little scamp was telling his friends he gets a head change from it before he got popped for having it. Fine line. Period.

Jesus Olvera
Jesus Olvera

More important... is tepache out of the question too?

cheko7
cheko7

Oh my Kombucha in a school?

just swallow your aderall joey....

MStrouse
MStrouse

whooo im so drunk on kombucha that I'm doing kundalini yoga, watch out world.

EriqFelix
EriqFelix

@GustavoArellano did you go to the AHS all-class reunion? I was thinking of taking my lowrider to the show, but didn't make it. #colonists

Anthony Thomas
Anthony Thomas

No they aren't kidding, this zero tolerance thing in schools is getting out of hand.

rdiaz714
rdiaz714

You don't have to be 21 to bring it, and like Gustavo said, never met anyone drunk off of it AND I've drank the stuff before and didn't even get a buzz! BTW you find it next to Naked Juice drinks at Henry's, Sprouts, etc. NOT in the wine, beer, liquor aisle.

Fred Stoces
Fred Stoces

hahahaha can you smell what the ignoramus is cookin'?

Michael Moon
Michael Moon

Newport Beach: Where appearances mean everything and nothing is as it appears.

shaunna2
shaunna2

@GustavoArellano tea? (pre-9/11 flew LAX / Albuquerque w/ 4 of those large jars in carry-on), sympathies OC #venturacounty #califas

GustavoArellano
GustavoArellano

@tfss EXACTLY! Gracias for RT, and for bringing to to your escuelota!

kwelch31
kwelch31

@GustavoArellano. Thats most school officials buddy. Busy body grandstanding losers trying to feel important. Liberals in other words.

drricky
drricky

@GustavoArellano kombucha can be made easily at home, and can escape proper alcohol content measurement. But approaches beer in booziness.

drricky
drricky

@GustavoArellano actually, kombucha *is* an alcoholic beverage. No question about that.

GustavoArellano
GustavoArellano

@kwelch31 Um, Newport-Mesa is mostly Republican. Care to comment?

GustavoArellano
GustavoArellano

@drricky Oh, please. The next person I meet drunk on kombucha is the first.

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