Diatribe With Dave: Five Moves That'll Piss Off Your Bartender

Categories: Hops to It!


3. Tell the Bartender to "Make it Strong"
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Ooohhh, this one's irritating. Want stiff drinks all night? Walk in, order and tip the bartender 30 bucks. I guarantee you're gonna get 60 bucks worth of booze back over the course of your evening. Or just man up and order a double in a pint glass.

4. Expect the Bartender to Always Pay for Your Drinks Because You're Pretty
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This one's just for you, ladies! Don't stand there all poopy and confused when the bartender asks you to pay for your drink. Even worse is when a chick starts digging through her purse/junk drawer looking for her wallet while everyone waits. When this happens, I just throw her drink away and move on to the next person. Have your wallet out and payment ready. Please.

5. Forget to Start a Tab

Your long-suffering bartender is a lot of things: friend, advisor, maybe even the person who is gonna get you laid that night. You know what he or she is not? An ATM machine. Using the same credit card over and over again to pay for your two-dollar Pabst Blue Ribbons is especially irritating, particularly when the joint is jumping. If you are over 21, that means you are an adult and adults open tabs. Be an adult. If you want to be regarded as visiting royalty at your favorite watering hole conduct yourself in a manner befitting such. Bartenders are neither court jesters nor hired help. There are two people in the tavern equation. They both like to be treated well.

Want more of Dave's rantings/ravings/ramblings? Check out www.dinnerwithdave.com for the latest!

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Location Info

Memphis At The Santora - CLOSED

201 N. Broadway, Santa Ana, CA

Category: Restaurant

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18 comments
dancinchihuahau
dancinchihuahau

I have not done any of the things in this article.  I like to think I'm a good patron, but there are things about bartenders that can irritate me. Only fair to see both sides. I'm referencing places I go mid-late afternoon when they aren't that busy. Not a crowded football day or weekend night:

1) On the phone, looking out the window or elsewhere and don't pay attention to who might walk in or who might want a drink at the bar

2) leaving the bar for 10 minutes or more and then getting irritated when you call them on it (turns it around to be your problem not wanting to wait - they left because the bar wasn't busy enough)

3) chatting with other patrons and don't notice who is coming in or who might want another drink

4) Won't carry over your tab because they have to leave

5) Bitching about their problems when you simply ask, "how are you today?"

 

ageofknowledge
ageofknowledge

You forgot the most important one of all: Go on the wagon and stop drinking alcohol forever.

jobeers
jobeers

#7. Yelling. ANYTHING. Doesn't matter if it's HEY! or BARTENDER! or whatever. The best way to not served is to demand a drink. And if you whistle, you're an ass-bite.

#8. NEVER TOUCH A BARTENDER And keep your grimy fingers out of the fruit caddy!

 

TyleDurden
TyleDurden

Bartenders are the most self-entitled pricks in the world.  Make my drink and get over yourself bro.

thesch
thesch

I think my dog is gay, i saw him banging another male dog.. what the fk is wrong with this world when a dog cant tell the difference..

Exador
Exador

" her purse/junk drawer" HAHA - perfect.

TheRefriedMexican
TheRefriedMexican

#6 - Showing up with your buddies on a slow night. Right before last call and ordering a plethora of drinks right after the bartender has already Saran wrapped the liquor bottles, stocked the fridges with tomorrow's supply and sanitized the beer spouts.

qdpsteve
qdpsteve

I'm surprised that one of these isn't "ask for the world's most obscure drink with the most obscure name, then scream at your bartender for a beer when he apologizes and says he doesn't know how to make it."

Joel White
Joel White

Oh yeah, it's Wednesday. It's his Dinner with Dave night.

OC Weekly
OC Weekly

Joel: He'll be at Memphis tonight!

Joel White
Joel White

Fuckin' a! Dave Mau was in this? He used to shop in my store. I miss that guy. I have been meaning to stop by his restaurant. Lol

Vanessa Barnes
Vanessa Barnes

It's so true. Another one I love is "What do you have?" I move on to the next person. That's an automatic lost turn.

JBinOC
JBinOC topcommenter

#4: LOL

jobeers
jobeers

 @TyleDurden

 come into my bar and I'll make your drink. With a big ol saucy heaping of phlegm on top!

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