Semen-Laced Cupcake Results In Suspension, Threats To Burn Principal's Home

Note: not the criminal cupcake in question

While we're all about potlucks, this reminds us of how we felt after watching Super Size Me; we couldn't drive by a McDonalds without getting queasy for weeks months. This time, it may be the ultimate form of weight watching for those with a sweet tooth. A 16-year old male student apparently passed out cupcakes to "quite a few people, but only one supposedly had semen." according to Sgt. Paul Paulos, St. Paul police spokesman. Excuse us while we throw up in our mouth.

Once word got out about the laced dessert, the student was not only suspended but withdrawn from their school district. Authorities were then made aware of threatening tweets made towards Como Park Senior High's principal, Dan Mesick, the following day. While we'll never know for sure whether the cupcake given to the targeted student was truly tainted (it was consumed), we think they should've figured out something was up when a teen randomly decides to stay home on a school night and bake.

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