Man Attacks Mom With Ham

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Thanksgiving time is upon us, which means we'll soon get stories of exploding turkeys, burning mashed potatoes, and all sorts of other food mayhem. And given our nation's economic troubles, I wonder if families will just take out their frustrations on each other by tossing massive glazed hams at each other?

That's what Emanuel Cordell Kennedy did. To his mom.

Amazingly, this didn't happen in Florida; unsurprisingly, it happened in Tennessee.

As originally reported by the wonderful Smoking Gun, the 37-year-old Kennedy got in an argument with his 55-year-old mother (quick aside: this means she had him when she was 18--now THAT'S Appalachia!). As she stormed off, Kennedy tossed a ham that struck her in the back, at which point the woman called the cops.

Kennedy admitted to the crime, but--in one of the great domestic violence excuses EVER--""was not expecting [his mother] to be walking down the hall and did not expect to hit her." So that meant Kennedy tossed a ham down the hallway for the hell of it? What a maroon.

He was arrested and charged with misdemeanor domestic assault. And, somewhere, a new Simpsons scene was born...or did it happen already?

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