Further Proof We Live in the End Times: Man Suffers Head Injuries from Drive-By Pumpkin Attack
|From Tanaka Farms, wholly wholesome|
To me, pumpkins are so innocuous, so joy- (and seed-) filled that I had never thought of using a pumpkin as a weapon. Oh, sure, the petrified stem cut probably smash a hole through wood, and the average Halloween pumpkin is so damn big that having it fall on your foot will leave a bruise. And I'm well aware of catapulting pumpkins to see how far they could fly before exploding into guts and pulp.
But what twisted mind would heave a pumpkin from a car to hit a middle-aged man? Drive-by pumpkin attack? Sounds like something from Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Scary Story Hood.
Yet that's exactly what happened in the Pittsburgh area.
The video (with pictures of the offending pumpkin and the poor man's injuries) below. And if it doesn't show, here's the link:
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