Why Can't Starbucks Offer Lids That Don't Spill? (And How Porto's Does It)

Categories: Really?!?!?
starbuckslid.jpg
Flickr brenderous
Die an ignominious death, poorly designed piece of crap lid.

I hate Starbucks. Not because it overroasts its coffee beans, though it does, and not because I'd rather chew a jumbo roll of aluminium foil than order using the irritating, obfuscating jargon, though I would, but because I hate its cups -- more specifically, the lids.

You know what I'm talking about. You get a cup of coffee and doctor it up--this is no third wave here, where it tastes good enough to drink unadulterated--and put the lid back on, and before you've even made it to a seat or to your car, the lid has spit brown liquid on you like a nauseated, caffeinated baby.

Why? Why can the largest chain of coffeeshops in the world, whose R&D budget probably exceeds the GDP of some of the countries it buys coffee from, not design a lid that keeps the coffee in?

Oh, I know what you're thinking--you're thinking of those stupid little green plugs that appeared about a year ago. You know what those are? Copouts. They come loose with the slightest pressure on the cup; at any one time, half the stores are out of them; and they don't fix the issue, anyway, because coffee leaks out around them.

portoslid.jpg
Dave Lieberman

Above is a photo of the coffee lid at Porto's. Notice it has a control on it, a little plastic doohickey that slides another piece of plastic back and forth. Porto's coffee doesn't spill when I stop at the Downey location in a desperate attempt to buck the traffic on the northbound 5. I don't have to make sudden, expensive and embarrassing trips to the Men's Wearhouse when I drink coffee from a Porto's cup. (The aftermath of one of the ultra-crunchy refugiados--guava-cheese strudels--is a different matter altogether.)

WHAT A CONCEPT, people! A coffee lid that works! Just another reason to not drink from the green monster. As though we needed another reason.

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12 comments
Rsmken
Rsmken

And on a side note - hy do so many young women and teen girls wear those huge "bug-eye" glasses these days? Are they even real?Even the women who operate that vegan food truck I saw on the Great Food Truck Race had them on.What's up with that?

Newportblue65
Newportblue65

Hell....I thought I was the only person having a problem with the lids !

Joe
Joe

Wish there was a Porto's closer to South OC, the Cuban sandwich is simply amazing...ahhh

Marty
Marty

You should have your own mug with you at all times (leave it in the car). That way, you won't waste or spill. But you will have to come up with more interesting things to whine and write about.

Rick Gitchen
Rick Gitchen

When you get your new lid, you should also consider switching to decaf as you seem just a little too wound up over this issue. There is not a lid of any kind for a "to-go" cup that won't spill; even your dixie cup.

JB
JB

So, so true about the Starbucks lids.  Never saw the Porto's one before...brilliant!

Jimbob
Jimbob

Plenty of them don't spill. Dunkin for one.

909Jeff
909Jeff

If it were a "to go" cup we would be in New Orleans and not a damn drop would spill.  That's liquor in that cup son!

Nevada_coffee
Nevada_coffee

Last time I was in New Orleans at Pat O'Brien's, they called it a "walkin' around cup". But I like you thinking!

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