Why Can't Starbucks Offer Lids That Don't Spill? (And How Porto's Does It)

Categories: Really?!?!?
Flickr brenderous
Die an ignominious death, poorly designed piece of crap lid.

I hate Starbucks. Not because it overroasts its coffee beans, though it does, and not because I'd rather chew a jumbo roll of aluminium foil than order using the irritating, obfuscating jargon, though I would, but because I hate its cups -- more specifically, the lids.

You know what I'm talking about. You get a cup of coffee and doctor it up--this is no third wave here, where it tastes good enough to drink unadulterated--and put the lid back on, and before you've even made it to a seat or to your car, the lid has spit brown liquid on you like a nauseated, caffeinated baby.

Why? Why can the largest chain of coffeeshops in the world, whose R&D budget probably exceeds the GDP of some of the countries it buys coffee from, not design a lid that keeps the coffee in?

Oh, I know what you're thinking--you're thinking of those stupid little green plugs that appeared about a year ago. You know what those are? Copouts. They come loose with the slightest pressure on the cup; at any one time, half the stores are out of them; and they don't fix the issue, anyway, because coffee leaks out around them.

Dave Lieberman

Above is a photo of the coffee lid at Porto's. Notice it has a control on it, a little plastic doohickey that slides another piece of plastic back and forth. Porto's coffee doesn't spill when I stop at the Downey location in a desperate attempt to buck the traffic on the northbound 5. I don't have to make sudden, expensive and embarrassing trips to the Men's Wearhouse when I drink coffee from a Porto's cup. (The aftermath of one of the ultra-crunchy refugiados--guava-cheese strudels--is a different matter altogether.)

WHAT A CONCEPT, people! A coffee lid that works! Just another reason to not drink from the green monster. As though we needed another reason.

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