Five Ways to Ensure You're the Most Popular House On the Block During Halloween

Categories: Five Great...
trickortreat.jpg
Flickr user gomattolson

Come on, you remember. As a kid out trick-or-treating, you knew exactly which house was the "cool" one. You'd plod along, rolling your eyes inwardly as Mrs. Eggleston gave you yet another piece of some candy last popular in Topeka in 1953 and Mr. Jackson, the dentist whose house everyone wanted to skip, gave you a toothbrush... but you'd get a spring in your step when you turned onto Main Street because you knew Mrs. O'Shea's house was coming, and she gave out awesome stuff.

You want to be the one kids look forward to? Here are five suggestions.
5. Actually give out candy.

halloweencandy.jpg
Flickr user tinfoilraccoon
​Don't be Mr. Jackson. Don't give out toothbrushes, or floss picks, or pencils, or any of that other nonsense. Hallowe'en is about candy. And none of this North Santa Ana-style turning off the lights and pretending not to be home, either. The kids totally know. Be home; give out candy.

4. Let kids pick from the bucket.

halloweenbucket.jpg
Flickr user kwbridge
The fifth question: what makes Halloween pretzels different from all other pretzels?
​Of course, some kids can't exactly be trusted, but it was always way more awesome to be allowed to pick from the bucket than to have a piece of whatever dropped in your pillowcase or plastic pumpkin bucket. Kids remember this sort of minuscule detail.

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12 comments
Bill Gurney
Bill Gurney

Forget popular, we just want to be the scary house the talk about the next day.

Gerardo Robles
Gerardo Robles

Fuck that, I'm gonna shoot paintballs at the kids

Steve SanFilipo
Steve SanFilipo

I give out full sized and let the kids choose the one they want.

20ftJesus
20ftJesus

Apples with double edge razors inside. 

jumpcut
jumpcut

According to your photo, all the full size candy bars must be various versions of Kit Kats.

Old Sneep
Old Sneep

I add the following rules. Must say trick or treat to get candy, those who don't say it get toothbrushes. Only kids from the general neighborhood get candy, interlopers will get the aforementioned toothbrushes. No repeats, return customers will have ice cubes dropped in their bags along with a toothbrush.

909Jeff
909Jeff

Should come a no shock to you but this year I'm adopting rules.... In order to get candy from me you better be 13 and under and old enough to WALK to my front porch UNWRAP and CONSUME the candy.  I'm sick of 17 year old kids with half ass costumes and parents bringing their 6 month old baby to my porch... That candy isnt for the kid its for your fat ass!!!!!! 

I'm old enough to remember Dennis the Menace and I'm going to turn into Mr Wilson! Hell, by next year I might just stand out on my front lawn with the hose and squirt people who don't fit the rules! Tricks on you.... Bitches! 

20ftJesus
20ftJesus

I know I shouldn't encourage you but I LOL'd. 

909Jeff
909Jeff

First off the schwinn comment made me laugh. 

As far as the out of neighborhood kids I'll start that next year.  I'm thinking of getting a bunch of Taco bell hot sauce for the kids that are obviously too old to trick or treat. 

Eddie Haskell
Eddie Haskell

After Halloween I'm gonna ride my Schwinn across your lawn and leave skid marks on the sidewalk.

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