Why Local Craft Brewing Is Important: The Atrocity that is Budweiser Select 55

Categories: Hops to It!
budweiser-select-55-review-gross.jpg
Left to his or her own devices, your local craft brewer will come up with things like amber beer brewed with sweet potatoes, rye IPA that's meant to complement a pastrami sandwich, or a revival of the California Common beer.

Left to their own devices, Anheuser-Busch came up with... whatever that is in the picture above.

I didn't buy this--a six-pack showed up at my house, probably as part of a dinner party. I don't know who brought it, and it frankly doesn't matter. The problem is this, though: I can't take it to a party or regift it because people will think I've lost my tastebuds, and I'm too cheap to pour beer, even beer barely worthy of the title, down the drain. So I drank it.

It was absolutely atrocious. It had almost no flavor; I'm trying to figure out what those 55 calories are made of, because they're certainly not made of anything resembling beer. It's the only beer in the world that tastes more insipid than the Grain Belt Primos I remember buying for 50 cents each in the taps of southern Minnesota. You couldn't even drink this ironically--PBR in a paper sack is a better choice for hipsters.

I'd call Select 55 beer-flavored soda, except that if someone were designing a soda to taste like beer, it would taste more like beer than Select 55. Hell, Miller High Life tastes more than beer than this. The most accurate description I could give this would be Perrier with a twist of beer.

Bad as it was, this did serve one important function--to make me grateful for the growler glasses lined up on the shelf in my kitchen, waiting to be filled with incomparably better beer.

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26 comments
Leon
Leon

So did you get around to trying the Old Orange Brewing Co. yet? They said they were going to make your elusive Nut Brown Ale at some point in the near future and their other beers are much superior to InBev 55.

Newportblue65
Newportblue65

Select beer is not good tasting at all!............However,  I remember GRAIN BELT as a beer that tasted much like COOR'S. Mild, really mild!!.......It didn't say PRIMO on the can as I remember.........

BeerHere2010 - #ADK
BeerHere2010 - #ADK

“This was the most unkindest cut of all.” 

"...beer-flavored soda" ? or, was it "...Perrier with a twist of beer."  ?

It's a coin toss; either way, GR8 'in your face' REJECTION, Dave.

FishWithoutBicycle
FishWithoutBicycle

Arrogant Bastard has an amazing depth of flavor...and gets one buzzed much faster. :-)

Anon
Anon

If I want watered down beer I'd just go to Anaheim Stadium.

MayhemInTheHood
MayhemInTheHood

Crappy Beer Is Crappy, film at 11. But first, Area Man Listens To Top 40 Station, Declares What He Heard To Be Horrible Music.

Jeff Overley
Jeff Overley

I'm really not sure why anyone drinks "beer" watered down to this point. Forget the flavor and the calories - it's only 2.4% alcohol. You could bring that to an AA meeting and nobody would mind. For reference, Bud Light (a really weak beer) is nearly twice as potent.

http://beeradvocate.com/beer/p...

Jamie Lynn Morgan
Jamie Lynn Morgan

Uninspired is as uninspired does. Not surprised that it tasted nasty. Bud has tasted nasty for years and I still can't understand why people drink that swill. Oh yeah...it is cheap. Which is exactly how it tastes.

You are far braver than I...I wouldn't have been able to drink it...would have used it to fertilize my house plants. I hear it is at least good for that.

Mo_abdullajd
Mo_abdullajd

what do you mean it doesn't matter who brought it?  I say ban that person from any future social engagements!

909Jeff
909Jeff

As my name would suggest I absolutely love PBR!  Its not a bad beer it just has a bad rap. I am partly a PBR lover because of Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet (Heineken... Fuck That Shit... Pabst Blue Ribbon!)   Also dont forget Miller High Life is in fact the Champagne of beers!  

Have you been to the City Tavern in culver city?  I heard they have tables with the taps righ there... pour your own pint!  that could be dangerous!

Dave Lieberman
Dave Lieberman

It says "Premium" but it's known far and wide in Minnesota as a "primo".

909Jeff
909Jeff

My company had a meeting at a resort in Dana point and we hired the guys from Stone Brewing company to come to a tasting and a discussion... Hightlight of the meeting!  those guys are AWESOME!

gustavoarellano
gustavoarellano

Although I don't drink beer and thus can't confirm the validity of this statement, I say HA!

Jack Grimshaw
Jack Grimshaw

You will be hearing very shortly from the ASPCP, ma'am - the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Pothos.

Paisa4life
Paisa4life

let me just say i would get you all hopped up on bud and bang you silly

Dave Lieberman
Dave Lieberman

At least PBR tastes like something... even if it's not my favorite beer. This stuff tastes like sparkling water from Vons with a twist of beer.

909Jeff
909Jeff

 UPDATE!! We had our meeting and it got crazy as usual. One thing's for sure you all better stay away from their homebrew beer. I had two glasses and tried to grab one of my co-workers cock! I then had one more and threatened to kick down the bathroom door when my boss was in there. I kept yelling "I will suck you off!! I swear I'm not gay. Stay away from those brewers.

FishWithoutBicycle
FishWithoutBicycle

What the hell is up with this hijacking my pseudonym? What the hell did I do to you?

Paisa4life
Paisa4life

when you going to buy us a beer? we deserve it with your lame ass blogs

FishWithBicycle
FishWithBicycle

Gustavo thanks once again. Your not a little cheek spreader like i originally thought.

FishWithoutBicycle
FishWithoutBicycle

Thank you, Gustavo! :-D  I just got home and am glad to see it's being handled already!  If we ever cross paths I'll buy you a (good) beer. :-)

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