In Defense of Pie

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Dave Lieberman
Nathan Heller hates pie, and he thinks you should too. He penned a long screed for Slate--I'd call it a jeremiad except I fell asleep reading it, and "jeremiad" implies a vigor that's lacking in the article--about how the pie is un-American and unworthy of our ongoing, cyclical fetishes of it.

Nathan Heller needs to shut his piehole. Yes, he does.

He starts with an historical view of pie, essentially as a delivery device for nutrition, with a tough crust hiding tender meats. He makes much of the fact that pies used to be called coffins--ha ha, where food goes to die, how amusing! The history is true, and pie crust used to be inedible--five hundred years ago. Heller appears to believe that pie is incapable of shedding all the vestiges of its ignominious past, that because it was born out of necessity, that it cannot slough off its original gastronomic sin.

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Flickr user 9229859@N02
As American as...
"Early apple pies weren't American and sweet at all. They were unsugared, tough, and manufactured by the British," Heller asserts. Of course not--the United States didn't exist, even as a fever-dream by European settlers, until long after the first apple pie was baked. Still, even an unsugared apple pie will be sweet, which gives the lie to that statement. An unsugared apple pie will also be soggy and gloppy, qualities against which Heller rails in the subtitle to his article, because the natural pectin in apples requires sugar and acid in order to set.

Heller has a problem with the ratio of filling to crust, preferring the leaner profiles of tarts. While I, Francophile that I am, love a fruit tart--or better still, a tart with a thin layer of frangipane hiding under a layer of cherries--a well-baked pie will not collapse, nor will it leak filling. A well-made pie will hold its shape, and I suspect that a great number of the hot pie disasters Heller references in his second paragraph are due to the fact that pie shouldn't be served until it's reached room temperature. It has to have time for the gel to set. No matter how carefully a baker follows the instructions for a great pie, if he or she cuts into it before the pie has cooled, it will leak everywhere and collapse.

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Flickr user elkit
Shaker lemon pie
Furthermore, according to Heller, pie isn't American because pie wasn't born in America. Since when does this birther fantasy intrude upon reality? Sweet pies are an American dish because they are widely distributed throughout America and almost nowhere else. (There are, of course, exceptions. The Filipinos have buko pie; the Lyonnais serve tarte aux pralines, which is a pink ringer for a Southern sugar pie.) Surely Heller wouldn't argue that a hamburger or a hot dog is somehow not a quintessentially American food, despite the fact that neither was invented here. So unmistakably American is pie that we have developed regional variations: light, flaky crusts (due to soft winter wheat flour) in the South, filled with sweeter fillings and nuts; denser crusts and cold-weather fruits in the North. There are plenty of sweet pies with a sense of place: Derby pie from Kentucky, mud pie from Mississippi and Alabama, Shaker lemon pie from Ohio, Key lime pie from Florida, sour cherry pie from Michigan.

The current ascendancy of pie means, at least at first, improvements to the genre. It happened with cupcakes, which for many years languished in that awful intersection of boxed cake mix and hydrogenated, super-sweetened, packaged frosting. When those nostalgic for class mother visits opened cupcake shops, they made improvements to the cupcake. (It got out of hand, of course, and some cupcakes are still little better than the industrial, dry badness that is Betty Crocker cake mix.)

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12 comments
Guest
Guest

Where are the best places to get pie in OC?  

Latonya "Keed" Bunn
Latonya "Keed" Bunn

Sarcasm is best served as a condiment, Dave, not as a filling. Add that lesson to your obvious energy and enthusiasm, and you'd be worth reading.

Claudia Koerner
Claudia Koerner

Bless you for writing a thoughtful response to that ridiculous article. I can't get past shaking my head. 

Jeff Overley
Jeff Overley

The pie-isn't-American stuff was probably required to make the article suitably intellectual but is nonetheless of little consequence. I do agree that pie tends to suffer from a surfeit of fruit, a surfruit if you will, and so I can identify with the author's nausea in the opening scene.

Mr. Rosewater
Mr. Rosewater

Besides, if American cinema has taught us anything, it's this: any pie that isn't up to snuff can easily be sodomized.

NathanPralle
NathanPralle

I maintained from the start, as you have touched on, that Heller simply hasn't met a good pie.    He's right -- there's a multitude of bad pies out there and it's certainly one of those items that's easier to screw up than to get right, and I have personally been responsible for many disasters.   But a wonderful pie baked with loving hands is....indescribable.  I had many such examples en route with RAGBRAI this past summer and each one was an experience in and of itself.

pie lover
pie lover

He's not trying to stop a pie renaissance. It's satirical and overboard at that, but still entraining if you don't mind an occasional buffoon. Really not worth getting feathers ruffled over, because in the long run, it's pie.

MayhemInTheHood
MayhemInTheHood

I've been a champion of Pie for years. This guy is a dummkopf.

gustavoarellano
gustavoarellano

Anyone who thinks Dave isn't worth reading is rather silly.

Dave Lieberman
Dave Lieberman

Indeed. The field is, sadly, a little bare... we're still mired (ugh!) in cupcakes down here.

I like Bonert's Slice of Pie in Santa Ana, though I find their crust to be a bit odd. The lemon meringue, though—oh, man. The crust problems continue for the much-vaunted boysenberry pie at Mrs. Knott's Chicken Dinners; the crust is absolutely awful, with no snap at all, and I find the filling too sweet.

I'm a sucker for coconut cream pie, and while I haven't been for years, I remember absolutely loving the version at La Palma Chicken Pie Shop in Anaheim. (Not sure I loved the chicken pie, though.)

Despite the friction between this blog (before my time) and the Filling Station in Orange, their pumpkin pie is still excellent.

Someone at work brought a berry pie in from a place they called the Purple Pie Place, which hearkens back to a famous café in the Black Hills of "Sout' T'koda", which was excellent. I haven't made it down there yet, because it's in San Clemente (and doing business as Granny's), but stay tuned—I will make the long schlep down as soon as I can.

As for savory pies, the best thing on the menu at Café Casse Croûte in Anaheim, the bizarre old-people-only luncheonette with the Vietnamese owners and French-Canadian menu (no poutine, though—I've asked), is tourtière. Just don't let the canned, industrial gravy touch it. It's got plenty of flavor without the gravy.

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