Instant Weekend: The Easiest Tequila Drink Ever

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Tequila, Jarritos and $4 for tacos later on. It's the weekend in Anaheim, man.
It's almost the weekend. It's almost a long weekend for many people. Time to bust out the liquor and celebrate!

No, damn it, don't make another margarita. Time to learn to drink tequila mixed drinks the Mexican way.

Not that the margarita is inauthentic--it's real, it's Mexican, it's very popular--but it has a sour flavor profile that doesn't make American drinkers very happy, which means those neon green slushy drinks that well-meaning but clueless American bartenders have been perpetrating on us for decades are about as authentic as Taco Bell's Bell Beefer Supreme.

No, what's needed is a drink so simple to make that even the bartenders at T.G.I. Friday's couldn't fuck it up, an elixir so easy that you could make it blind drunk--which is exactly what you will be after a few of these.

The paloma, Spanish for "dove," is typically tequila, grapefruit juice, lime juice and soda water, but the real recipe, the one you'll get when you order a paloma south of San Ysidro, is tequila and grapefruit soda. Squirt is the easiest grapefruit soda to get your hands on, but Jarritos Toronja makes a better drink.

In a tall glass full of ice, put in a big shot of tequila. Silver is the best choice, but if all you have is reposado (aged), go for it. (Don't waste the good bottle of añejo on this.) Pour grapefruit soda to the top. Squeeze a lime wedge into it if you want. Drink it. Make another. Drink it, too. Easier even than the "traditional" shot with lime and salt.

Es el fin de semana, cuate: ¡pásatelo bien!

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Toby Lou Rowen
Toby Lou Rowen

How does tequila and grapefruit soda differ, morally, from rum and Coca-Cola?

Both are crap concoctions that are to real cocktails as Hallmark Greeting Cards are to Yevtushenko or pop is to champagne.

Dave Lieberman
Dave Lieberman

It tastes better than rum and Coke, for one thing, and there's no high-fructose liquid death in there... but let's take your question and extend it: what's better about the classic gin and tonic? Or whisky and soda? Does the presence of icing sugar and lemon juice somehow elevate a Tom Collins to a higher moral ground than something that's just liquor and soda?

It's a drink. It's very popular. It's better-tasting than the neon-green crap that issues forth from the giant jug of Cuervo mix. It's not a moral stake in the ground.

Jefe Marrone
Jefe Marrone

I just wrote a blog on this drink last month. I had a hard time finding Jarritos where I live. So, I tried all of the grapefruit sodas I could find; GUS, Fresca, Goya and Squirt. You are absolutely right that Jarritos makes the best drink. No doubt about it.

N.J.
N.J.

This is very similar to my fave drink, a cantarito. :)

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