Japanese Kids Go Crazy for SpongeBob SquarePants Happy Meal Toys, Or: Why Happy Meals Should Be Banned Everywhere
Turn down the volume on your speakers. You're welcome.
It's not the food in the Happy Meal that's evil. It's . . . the toys. Kids go batshit in their developing little membranes for Suponju Babu, who was born right here in Orange County.
Sidebar: SpongeBob creator Steven Hillenburg worked in 1984 as a marine biologist at Dana Point's Ocean Institute, where he drew comics featuring a character called Bob the Sponge. He left this job behind to go to film school, and the rest is history: Hopped-up children unleashing every gram of their pent-up rage at San Francisco's Stalinesque purge of Happy Meals to fast-food-Siberia.
At least, I think that's what's going on here. I can't understand what these little brats are screeching, and I speak Japanese. It's that, or they are the elated recipients of all those banished toys from San Francisco. Either way, it's prima facie evidence that Happy Meal toys cause brain damage in young children. Somebody call Blood, Hurst & O'Reardon. I smell a class-action lawsuit.