Non-Browning Canadian Apples to Be Vetted By USDA

Categories: News, Really?!?!?
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According to HuffPo, a Canadian biotech firm has applied to the US Department of Agriculture to be allowed to grow and sell genetically modified apples that resist browning when cut.

The so-called "Arctic" apples have the gene that causes oxidation suppressed, using technology from an Australian firm who developed it for potatoes.

This doesn't mean the apple will stay sound; it just means there won't be as many visual cues that the apple slice you're about is going to collapse into partially-fermented mush in your mouth. Even if the USDA approves it (which isn't a sure thing at all), there's no guarantee that American companies will rush right out and plant these Frankentrees.

So, food traitors from the Okanagan, while you wait ten years for a decision from our famously efficient and easy-to-work-with government, I have a great idea for a product that will prevent apples from browning after they've been cut. It's got a slightly clinical name, but it works like a charm, doesn't hurt the environment, is cheap as dirt, works in single-serving packages, and increases the visual appeal of the apple. Are you ready? Here we go:

ACIDULATED WATER.

You know, water with a shot of neutral vinegar in it, dissolved vitamin C pills, or a little lemon juice. You could even (dare I say it?) use apple cider vinegar.
I cringe to think how much money you paid to license this genetic modification, and how much the Aussies spent to develop it.

If you wanted to put a little gamesmanship into it, you could put a finger lime vesicle into each opaque package; it'd be like Schrödinger's apple slices--until you opened the package and saw whether the lime vesicle had burst in transport, releasing its juice and thus saving the apple, the apples would have to be declared technically half brown and half white.

Meanwhile, leave our fruit alone and stop monkeying around with the genetics, especially for such low-value "improvements" as these. What a waste of resources; Norman Borlaug must be spinning in his grave.


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