Five Silly-Looking Tequila Bottles

​A couple of years ago, a friend gave me the above tequila bottle. I've kept it over the years because it's decorative, but the image has about as much to do with tequila as the Finns. It's an Aztec warrior--but tequila wasn't created until long after the fall of Tenochtitlán, and then by Spaniards (the Nahua drank pulque and xocolatl, among other intoxicating beverages). An Aztec would sooner associate themselves with the Chichimecas than the drink.

My friend bought it for me in Baja, at some gabacho tourist trap. Seeing it the other day reminded me that tequila, perhaps more than any other liquor, comes in all types of bottle shapes, from the stately (the long, sleek, amber-or-blue-hued Corralejo, the stout, square-shaped Herradura, the big, thick Freudian hard-on of a Cazadores) to the stupid. The above bottle is the latter category (although the tequila, surprisingly, wasn't bad, although of no name brand). After the jump, four more silly bottles. This post, by the way, makes no pretensions of judging the actual taste of the tequila--we just care about the bottles here, son! But if some of you have tried these tequilas, and they are ambrosia, do let us know in the comments and defend its honor.

Now, the rogues' gallery...

2. Casta Gusano
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Never mind the fact that it's mezcal that traditionally features the worm at the bottom of the bottle.

3. Tequila XQ
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Nothing too offensive about the bottle, other than its ugliness.