Just do it. I know you want to. Shout it from the rooftops, tell it on the mountain. (Modern translation: Update your Facebook status.)
The McRib is back.
Starting tomorrow, the elusive sandwich returns to McDonald's locations nationwide
and will stay until Dec. 5. (If you need your fix now, now, NOW, you can check the McRib Locator
for the nearest dealer. But I'll judge you.)
The Zorro of the fast food world, the McRib is known to make a sweeping entrance and then disappear into the night, leaving fans yearning for more. There's something about that boneless pork patty molded into the shape of a rib slab and drenched in barbeque sauce that has spawned 10-hour road trips
, countless petitions to bring the menu item back, and pop culture references galore. (Marshall on How I Met Your Mother
took up smoking when he learned the McRib was no longer available.)
"The McRib is like that really hot chick you hook up with every few years when she swings by your town. You never really know when she's coming back, she never stays long, and the reason she leaves again is never that clear, but man, good times when she's around."
Frankly, I'm terrified of the damn thing. The last time I had one, I was 8, an age when I thought the chicken strips at Sizzler were God's gift to taste buds. It's not that I have an aversion to the McNugget-like consistency (I love McNuggets and have carefully extracted from my brain the fact that they are made from this pink goop
--what pink goop?) or the unnatural shape of the patty. It's the slimy, artificial, ketchup-like sauce that freaks me out. It looks so ... intense.
But I'm open and willing to take a bite out of just about anything in the name of journalism and gluttony. So tell me, Ribophiles, why should I give the McRib another try?