Heinz Spotted Dick
Found at: Fresh & Easy, Fountain Valley
Wheat, Sugar, Wheat Flour, Raisins, Partially Hydrogenated Canola and Palm Oils, Nonfat Dry Milk, Partially Inverted Sugar Cane Syrup, Leaveners (Sodium Diphosphates, Sodium Bicarbonate), Egg Whites, Salt Spices, and Spice Extractives, Natural Flavors.
Because beneath every mature adult is an immature teenager. But of course, spotted dick has been famously mined for chuckles for time immemorial (or at least since the word "dick" became more than shorthand for "Richard").
American comedy writers (who know a cheap laugh when they see one) have used it as an easy way to rib the British in movies (see Shanghai Knights and King Ralph with John Goodman). But it isn't just us colonists who find the traditional name for steamed suet pudding unfortunate yet hilarious. The BBC reported that last year, a local city government decided to rename the dessert "Spotted Richard" to cut back on crude innuendo and jokes at meal times.
For what's essentially bread pudding in a can, it tasted like, well, bread pudding in can. There are instructions to heat it by microwave or steam it on the stove; but you can just easily eat your spotted dick cold.
The raisins, which provide the spots, leech their tartness and tang and provide most of the flavor. But more than anything, it tastes like a damp blueberry muffin that's been crammed inside a can. But for all its moistness, it does need the traditional custard sauce. I'll leave any further comments and/or punchlines, up to you.