Curtains For Pepe: How To Murder a Peep in 10 Ways

7. Burning
Who said a crème brûlée torch was only good to brûler sugar on top of custard? In Anaheim, where Boy Scout Jamborees are few and the only campfires are those of the homeless people living under the bridges on the Santa Ana River Trail, the best chance for a toasty marshmallow treat is a Peep and a torch. In the immortal words of Butthead, "FIRE! FIRE!" 1:16

Dave Lieberman

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8. Cleaving
Davey Lieberman took an axe and gave that mallow just two whacks, and when he saw the job was done, he ate the carnage and then moved on. Short, sweet and to the point. 0:02

Dave Lieberman

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9. Cursing
Nothing says "I love you" like a voodoo Peep. Poor Pepe got stuck with a bunch of toothpicks in hopes that somewhere, some other sinning marshmallow chicken would die of puncture wounds. Sadly, no such analogue Peep was found. Failure.

Dave Lieberman

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10. Spätzling
Perhaps the most grisly method of Peep destruction, this involved pressing Pepe through a Spätzle maker, a cross-hatched wire mesh used to turn whole wheat dough into delicious German dumplings. Pepe performed admirably and willingly split into about 24 pieces. 0:23

Dave Lieberman

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