Overheard at the Farmers' Market, Part 4

​This week's list is a little thin, because the Irvine farmers' market was smaller than normal due to the torrential rains of last week; fully a quarter of the vendors were unable to pick. That didn't stop the adventurous from braving the still-soggy outdoors, though.



"I didn't even know celery had roots."

It doesn't; celeriac is an elaborate hoax, like Idaho.

"I warned you not to play with the artichokes. Are you okay?"

When Produce Attacks, next on Spike. Pun completely intended.

"Isn't it the law that they have to have a bathroom?"

No, but it should be the law that people who think open-air markets need to have Johnnies-on-the-spot wear adult diapers in case they can't make it to one of the restaurants or stores in time.

Mom: "Sorry, I don't think In-N-Out is open at 8:30 in the morning."
Kid: "Can we wait for them to open? I really want a shake."
Mom: "No. Eat some fruit instead."
Kid: "No thanks. This fruit doesn't have ice cream in it."

Mom, please introduce your son to the concept of a smoothie.

"If I'd known there was going to be soap in the fountain, I would have come naked and had a bubble bath."

Some mental images you just can't un-see.

"I had no idea oranges had names. I always figured if it was round and orange and fruit, it was just an orange."

Well, live and learn. Good thing they didn't have any green tangerines there or her brain might have exploded.