Wacky Snacks: Zooland & Carland Printed Biscuits
So it's been a while since we've done one of these "Wacky Snacks" posts. It was put on hiatus not because there was a lack of "Wacky Snacks" out there, but because it takes a lot of time to produce an episode, er, blog post, what with the picture taking and ingredient list transcribing and all.
Anyway, did ya miss it? Well even if you don't, or if you haven't a clue what I'm talking about, we're bringing it back. A "Wacky Snacks" revival! You may now rejoice. Go ahead, we'll give you a minute to contain yourselves.
Hopefully this time, we'll make it a regular feature...until we don't want to anymore.
For those unacquainted, these marginally stupid and always frivolous reviews are meant to highlight one "Wacky Snack" from a local market per week.
So please to enjoy, the continuing saga of "Wacky Snacks", where we prove that Americans aren't the only ones with a taste for junk food or products with silly cartoon mascots:
Name: Zooland & Carland Printed Biscuits
Found at: H-Mart Market, Irvine
Cost: $1.49 for the Zooland. $1.29 for the Carland.
Zooland Printed Biscuits:
Wheat Flour, Vegetable Oil & Shortening, Sugar, Butter, Malt Extract, Raising Agent (Ammonium Bicarbonate, Sodium Bicarbonate), Natural Seasoning, Salt, Yeast, Caramel Colouring, Enzyme (Papain), Artificial Flavor. (Allergy advice: Contains wheat & soya)
Autoland Printed Biscuits:
Wheat Flour, Vegetable Oil & Shortening, Sugar, Margarine, Malt Extract, Raising Agent (Ammonium Bicarbonate, Sodium Bicarbonate), Natural Seasoning, Salt, Yeast, Caramel Colouring, Enzyme (Papain), Artificial Flavoring. (Allergy advice: Contains wheat & soya)
Why I Bought It:
As with most snacks, a cartoon character drew me in. It was the monkey that I saw first: A lecherous primate with a come hither look, reclined on a bed of grass in the "Art of Seduction" pose.
Would you trust this monkey with your daughter? I wouldn't trust it with a banana.
And then there's the other box of "printed biscuits" I bought from the shame shelf because of its own hilarious mascot: a totally baked sportscar mascot with bags under his eyes and a set of droopy eyelids. And I don't mean "baked" like the biscuits in the box. Methinks the entire Phish catalog is in this guy's CD changer.
Or maybe he looks that way because he's bummed he didn't pass the drug test to be in those Chevron commercials.
The biscuits taste exactly Ritz crackers, except with a sweeter aftertaste. It leaves your finger just as greasy, too.
The most impressive part, however, is the variety of printed biscuits inside. I had to dump out almost the entire box before I got a repeat animal. The biscuits are perfect for teaching your kids word and picture association. As for coaching your children not to become perverts or stoners, the outer packaging doesn't do so well.