Amongst the many Jewish contributions to world culture, one stands out for me: Don Rickles. Oh, and the latke, the simple potato pancake upon which generations of eaters have found so much joy and clogged arteries. Any proper deli stocks them, but few Orange County places do latkes well, being there aren't enough old Jewish delis around to have fried a recipe into perfection decades ago. Instead, we're left with bad latkes like the ones at Arnie's Manhattan Deli, located somewhere amongst the John Wayne Airport office parks in Newport Beach.

The food at Arnie's isn't bad--their sandwiches fill, hot mustard and pickles sit at every table, and I still might return for the fried frankfurter the Food Frenzy boyos raved about last week. But the cost is prohibitive, and the latkes plain sucked. They came three to an order, big fried things, with applesauce and sour cream in little cups. Alas, those flavors were the most enjoyable feature of the latke. Too fried without any crispiness, no juiciness inside, a disappointment through and through. I'll stick to Katella Deli, thank you very mucho.

Image courtesy of bbqaddicts.com

So today, one of my co-workers ran up to my cube excited and breathless. "You gotta see this!" he panted, whereupon he pushed me aside and started typing something on my keyboard. 

What he loaded up was this page: A step-by-step instructural on creating a 5,000 calorie (and 500 grams of fat) all-porcine log made of crumbled bacon stuffed inside a blanket of sausage wrapped around a lattice mesh of more bacon. And then the whole thing is slow smoked and basted with barbecue sauce. 

They called it the "Bacon Explosion". 

Apparently, as a denizen of the so-called blogosphere (I have a blog of my own, in case no one noticed), I am late to the fevered buzz that has surrounded this slightly absurd, but altogether fascinating experiment in pork. This week, the New York Times even did a full-on investigation of its origins and the hula-baloo (is that how it's spelled?) that followed. 

Since the original post went up on December 23, 2008, it has garnered thousands of hits and made the rounds at Digg, Stumbleupon, Twitter, you name it. But in case you haven't heard about it, I now share it with you: The Bacon Explosion, which I predict will become the new Turducken.  Mark my words, people.  Mark my words.

This just in.  FOX News reports that Sylvester Stallone, along with Danny DeVito and other Planet Hollywood investors have bought Buca di Beppo.

I haven't the words.

This one is from last week and involves Taco Bell itself!

A federal appeals court Friday ruled that Taco Bell is solely liable for $42 million in breach-of-contract awards to two Michigan men who created the diminutive mascot that starred in the Irvine fast-food giant's hit $500-million advertising campaign in the 1990s.

Yo quiero appeal. And you know what's most offensive about the campaign, especially in the original ad shown below? The music? If Taco Bell's going to hawk bad Mexican food, at least do us the honor of featuring some banda or conjunto norteño, not pinche salsa!!!

Ah, Charlie Palmer, how do you do it? While we're all knee-deep in the stink, you forge onward. I suppose there are still rich people around, and they've gotta eat somewhere. And for those of them who watch football, I suppose $11 is nothing to pony up for a hot dog come SuperBowl Sunday.

More specifically, it's Charlie Palmer's Wagyu hot dog. Wagyu, if you don't know, is the American cousin of Japanese Kobe beef.

Think about it.

A Kobe beef hot dog.

Insane if we weren't in a recession; comically hysterical while we're in one.

But you know what? I'd pay $11 for it, if only to have the story to tell that I ate an $11 hot dog. Plus, I hear that it comes with chips. And not just Lays.

If you think the concept of the wiener is crazy, these chips are downright certifiable. The PR person who e-mailed described them as "house made roasted chicken flavor potato chips which he fries in chicken fat, fresh rosemary, garlic and a touch ascorbic acid (Vitamin C) for sourness".

For Charlie Palmer's full list of SuperBowl Sunday craziness, click here.

Answer: It gives him the runs.

At least that's what can be surmised from the latest issue of Giant Robot, the excellent magazine of all things Asian and Asian-American co-created by OC native Martin Wong. In it, he interviews Chris Alfaro, one of the three guys behind The Crosby, the downtown SanTana hipster hangout whose food is hit-and-miss but whose drunk gals are legion. They talk about Alfaro's love of Del Taco, itself a sin but one that I have no right casting stones at because I think Jack-n-the-Box tacos are manna from heaven. Wong isn't as forgiving. "I walked by four or five taquerías on the way [to the Crosby] here, and you patronize Del Taco," he asks Alfaro. "Those taquerías are amazing, but you get the ring of fire the next day," Alfaro replies.

Ah, Mexican food and diarrhea. Montezuma's Revenge. The butt of so many jokes. Always an cheap laugh. Did you really have to go there, Chris? I've eaten at all of downtown SanTana's Mexican joints, and while they're not exactly the best in town (especially since the lamented departure of El Pollo de Oro), they're not going to mess with your digestive tract, whether you're Mexican, Filipino, or otherwise. Also, how can you call a restaurant "amazing" and, in the same breath, diss them with this easiest, most-slanderous of slurs? Great way to promote Downtown solidarity!

 Final point of order to both Alfaro and Wong: there is only one true taquería in downtown SanTana, and that's Taqueria Guadalajara; the other Mexican restaurants in the area might offer tacos, but they specialize in other dishes. It's like us Mexicans calling ustedes Asians chinos--muy bad.

If you've ever tried to actually locate Blackmarket Bakery, you've no doubt doubled back, gotten lost, and cursed your GPS for being completely useless.

The bakery is indeed hidden, cloaked almost, in a bland office park that sees no traffic and even less customers. I spent the first few paragraphs of my review talking about the location, and the hidden entrance that's hard to see even if you are standing right in front of it.

Now comes news that Chef Rachel Klemek and crew are going to debut their new storefront on February 7th.  They're calling it their "grand (re)opening".

I'm not entirely sure if this means that the place will be easier to spot for those trying to find it.  I doubt that the building's owners are going to let them change the entrance or do anything that would actually help proclaim "Hey!  We're right here!"

In any case, if you're new, just look for their van, which almost always parked outside...or if it's not there, start sniffing around for the smell of cookies.

Surely by now you've heard about Kogi Korean Taco Truck, right? 

Almost a month ago, I invited ustedes to eat with me and get a free dessert at Bangkok Taste in SanTana. Only two readers did: Hungrymomma and Hungrypoppa, a young Latino couple who leave some of the best comments on this infernal blog. We talked food, the Paramount Swap Meet, SanTana, and so many other things that I can't wait to hang out with them again next time I make a free food offer. Best of all: they agreed with me in thinking Bangkok Taste's roti, a flatbread fried and topped with frosting as if it were a cinnamon roll, was bueno. Gracias for coming out, hungrymomma-and-poppa, and to the rest of you: Keep reading this blog for free food offers and contests from me!

And now, my favorite hungrypoppa of all time:

If you haven't been to Avanti Cafe in Costa Mesa, OC Weekly's Best Restaurant of 2008 and where you can find me every Tuesday for their international menu, here's the best reason yet. From their newsletter:

Mention Promo Code PERFECT MONDAY LIVING & get a free small Bloody Mary.  Organic tomato, hot serrano, fresh horseradish, flavorful citrus, spices, olives & flava.  Paired w/ a zesty entree salad -- Avanti offers The Perfect Monday Night! Offer Expires: Monday, February 9, 2009.

If Avanti's margarita tastes like eternal sunshine, their Bloody Mary is a blanket and hot tea on a crisp winter morning like the one that greeted ustedes today: thick, substantial, comforting, with zing to make the rest of your waking hours livable.

Avanti Cafe, 259 E. 17th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 548-2224; www.avantinatural.com. And now, a different Bloody Mary: