I'd usually laugh at the idea of people paying money to learn how to make tamales (no need for moolah, people--just hang out with Mexican women come Christmas Eve), but the event that Slow Food OC is hosting is worth it and muy cheap. From their recent newsletter:

Learn how to make your own tamales in this informal and delicious presentation. Ms. Lilly Garo will show us step-by-step how to make sweet and savory tamales, a seasonal treat from our latino heritage in Southern California. We will be sharing a meal based on our class preparations, and all participants will be able to take home tamales for their holiday celebration. Cost is $5.00 for Slow Food Members and $15.00 for Non-Members. For reservations, please contact events@slowfoodoc.org or call Stephanie at (714) 910-4295. Please RSVP by November 30. Event will be held at Spurgeon United Methodist Church, 1025 W. Memory Lane in Santa Ana.

I know the above email said to reserve by yesterday, but I'm sure they can still sneak in a soul or two. More importantly, why haven't you joined Slow Food OC, part of the Slow Food movement that seeks to relocalize cuisine and make it more delicious?

On word that Carm's Coneys shuttered and Opah teetering on the brink, here's a bit of good news -- an update on the Beard Papa's post from last week:

Our tipster, NP, writes in that Beard Papa's in MainPlace has reopened, saved from oblivion by new owners.

He writes:

"What an odd turn of events! As of this morning (Nov 21st 2008) the Main Place Beard Papa's is open again."

"From talking to the employees they did shut down and it was to be a permanent closure however they have a new owner who reopened this week"

"So let's hope they stay open this time."

I am not sure why they always seem to come in twos.

This week, both Ajisen Ramen and Greek Islands debuted.

Ajisen was already doing decent business at 4 P.M. yesterday,  attracting a few looky-loos like myself. Greek Islands, on the other hand, was not.

It remains to be seen how Greek food will be received by the same crowd that still converge upon 85 Degrees C in droves, but their menu looks to be a much needed change of pace for the Asian-leaning plaza.

Besides that, Irvine needs a good place for falafel, which Greek Islands has on its roster.

Although I haven't tried Ajisen, their prices worry me. None of their ramen bowls retail below $7.50. Most hover at $8.50 or $9.75.

You can still get a medium bowl at Santoka -- the revered favorite around these parts -- for about $6.99 (last time I checked).  But during times like these, when people are more likely to resort to Nissin's Cup Noodles or Maruchan's Instant Lunch for their ramen fix (can't beat its 30-cents-per cup), today's going rate for restaurant ramen will be tough to swallow for most.

Of course, Ajisen's broth won't be loaded with MSG and their veggies won't be freeze-dried.

Also, they're open until 10 PM most nights, and 11 PM on the weekends, which are optimal noodle slurping hours. 

I have scanned and made Ajisen's menu available for you to peruse in case you're already more than halfway into your Costco-sized pallet of instant ramen and craving a proper bowl:

CLICK HERE FOR PAGE 1.

CLICK HERE FOR PAGE 2. 

Before The Food Network came along , there was Martin Yan, Jacques Pepin, Tommy Tang, Jeff Smith (a.k.a. The Frugal Gourmet) and of course, Julia Child. 

Don't get me wrong--I like Mother's Market, our homegrown Whole Foods. I make it a point to support businesses that subscribe to the principles of the Slow Food movement--we all are sinners (except for the do-gooders at Avanti Cafe), so I understand slip-ups or exceptions occur from time to time. But I was still surprised when I saw Cacique cheese on the shelves of Mother's location in SanTana amongst organic, fair-trade offerings. I'm very familiar with the brand, having eaten the queso fresco my entire life because Mami conditioned me to eat every meal accompanied with a thick slab of the wet, creamy cheese. But there's nothing organic about the cheese--doesn't say anything about the website or the packaging. Perhaps Mother's figures its hippy-dippy clientele base will mistake the cheese for a vintage fromage?

Mother's definitely doesn't offer Cacique to attract more Mexicans. The price I saw yesterday was $5.95. At Northgate Supermarket, just a couple of minutes away on Fourth Street, the same wheel of Cacique was going for $4.49, almost a buck-fifty less. I don't mind paying more cash for organic, fair-trade stuff that tastes better than its mass-produced peers, but I also don't appreciate ripoffs. Get on the Mexican ball, Mother's--and, while you're at it, fix the spelling errors on the sign hawking cactus. In Spanish, it's nopales, not napales--and in English, it's cactus, not catus.

Is corporate America trying to fleece me (more on this later), or have they stopped caring? Wait...I think I just answered my own question: It's both.

Take a look at the packaging on this packet of Capri Sun. The word "flavor" appears four times, which in itself is overkill when you think about the information that was left out (again, more on this later). And "Fruit Flavored Water Beverage"? Unless it's alcoholic, I find the use of "water beverage" redundant.

This, again, is a product made in America, by Americans. It's not a case of something being lost in translation.

And then there's this part: "Wild Cherry: Flavored with Other Natural Flavor". The circular logic makes me dizzy. If you're not using cherry as a flavor, why not just name it after the flavor you ARE using.

Now, I wouldn't normally write a diatribe over the word choice on a kid's beverage, but the fact that they used all that space and lettering, but still FAILED to tell me that the drink uses Sucralose as a sweetener? THAT'S unforgivable.

Again, I'm no food prude. I don't need all of my produce to be organic or my meat to be free-range, but I do consider Sucralose (otherwise known as Splenda) to be an artificial flavor. Yet, still it says "No artificial colors or flavors" and still it says "Wild Cherry: Flavored with Other Natural Flavor".

The makers of Capri Sun need to learn this word: "Diet".

Stylistic note: photo is not of Taquerias Guadalajara, nor is Calvin pissing on a location. He's pissing on the logo of the Chivas, the Guadalajara-based soccer team whose colors and goat mascot Taquerias Guadalajaras uses for promotions. Chivas pelan.

For years, Taquerias Guadalajara was the pale runner-up to Taquería de Anda, the homegrown OC taco empire. But, as I noted earlier, Taquería de Anda's quality has fallen as precipitously as its prices have increased, leaving Taquerias Guadalajara prime to capture the crown of OC's best taco chain. But, as I always note, I cannot in good conscience ever recommend folks to spend more than a buck on a taco--it's a sin as cardinal as charging for chimichurri. I don't care that Taquerias Guadalajara's tacos are pretty damn good--not too small, with a well-cooked tortilla housing perfectly charred meat. $1.39 for this taco ain't worth it.

However...for the past couple of months, the location on First Street in SanTana has offered diners a bargain--tacos de carne asada or al pastor for 89 cents Monday through Thursday from 3 p.m.-10 p.m. This, amigos, is a deal--one of the best remaining for a full-sized taco in la naranja. Even then, I don't think enough people are taking advantage of the bargain; recently, they printed little cards with a laughing, leaping man under the headline (in Spanish): Crisis Special!!! Laugh at the Economy but with a Full Gut. Could it be because a much-better deal is next door?

Taquerias Guadalajara, 1904 W. First St., SanTana, (714) 547-7515

So you just heard about a vegetarian turkey from Matt Coker, how about an Indian one?

No, not the "Indians" who joined the Pilgrims for dinner in story of the first Thanksgiving. The real Indians! The ones the European mistook the indigenous inhabitants of America for.

Think about it: Indian cooks already do a mean chicken with their tandoor ovens. Why not turkeys?

That's exactly what Clay Oven in Irvine has done, and has been doing for the past 12 years.

Their turkeys are roasted inside a traditional barrel-shaped hot box to a glossy shine outside, moistness inside. The birds sell for $54.95 each. One will feed six amply.

It's stuffed with spiced basmati rice and stripped of its skin before cooking, so it's lower in fat.

Cranberry sauce? They've got you covered there, too: Its included in the form of a chutney.

The catch is that you have only until Tuesday, November 25 to get your orders in. Pick up your bird on Turkey Day between 9 AM and 3 PM.

Clay Oven, 15435 Jeffrey Rd., Irvine, (949)552-2851

Believe it or not, the Native Foods vegan restaurant in Costa Mesa bustles during the Thanksgiving season, offering a birdless (and delicious) alternative to the traditional turkey dinner. Many OC vegans and vegetarians – and the families that enable their madnesses – order gussied up Tofurky dinners. For fancy-pantsier palates, Native Foods sells the all-organic "Native Wellington": a puff-pastry stuffed with Native Seitan, kale, portobello mushrooms, orange glazed yams, stuffing, caramelized onions and served with shallot mushroom gravy. It costs $54, serves six and arrives frozen; just bake ‘em for about an hour. You can order them through the restaurant or online here.

Many families – or loners – who do not welcome the post-dinner kitchen mess choose to eat at restaurants, and Native Foods’ booths are as jammed as those places that serve turkey, ham and all the trimmings. In fact, for the fourth annual Thanksgiving feast, the Irvine-based Native chain’s “chef executive officer” Tanya Petrovna has whipped up a menu of Native Wellington with Mushroom Shallot Gravy, Willy's Wheatberry Waldorf Salad, Gorgeous Green Salad with Maple Glazed Pecans and Pomegranate Pearls, Polenta Terrine with Butternut Squash and Pumpkin Seed Pesto, Garlic Roasted Mashed Potatoes, Seared Green Beans with Browned Panko, Native Stuffing, Fred's Fabulous Cornbread and Cranberry Orange Relish. Just reading that induces a L-tryptophan coma, but the Natives advise saving room for the dessert tray loaded with Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Creme, Apple Hazelnut Streudel with Vanilla Creme, Sam's Cheesecake with Blueberries and Chocolate Tofu Love Pie. The cost is $45 per person ($20 for children under 12) and if you want your family to sit together it’s best to make reservations for between 2 and 8 p.m. at (714) 751-2151. Otherwise, you’ll have to fight it out for space at the constantly turning over community table for singles and walk-ins.

The restaurant is at the Camp (across from the Lab) at 2937 Bristol St., Costa Mesa. A location also opened recently in Aliso Viejo at 26705 Aliso Creek Road. Call them at (949) 831-1926 for reservations or to order meatless chow.

And know that somewhere a turkey thanks you.

Back in the early nineties, the Alberto's empire stretched far and wide, a success story that began in San Diego, built upon hefty burritos filled with nothing but carne asada steak and guacamole. Then something happened. Rumor was that in-fighting fractured the cohesion.

Soon some Alberto's turned rogue. I remember the one I'd been going to, in La Habra, became a Molcasalsa. Others redubbed itself with a few extra letters or a few less. Albertito's, Alerto's, Rigoberto's, Alberta's, and that's just the one's I remember off the top of my head. Some weren't even affliated with the original. But if the name sounded similar or had a "-Berto's" suffix, then you can bet they made that same burrito.

A few of the knockoffs and rogue stores have actually evolved to become popular local staples. I'm an Alerto's fan myself.

Now, in what used to be another Mexican restaurant (that I can't remember the name of), Alberto's returns to Santa Ana at the corner of Edinger and Grand. This ups the number of Alberto's in OC to about five (at my last count). And yes, this one's got that carne asada burrito, too.