14 Reasons Why the Angels Lost Game 1 of the ALDS
*The stupidest noisemakers ever, a thin piece of cardboard which fans were supposed to fold up like an accordion and slap them like a tambourine. Did some idiots complain about having to blow too hard to inflate the old ThunderStix, which worked so well in 2002?
*Stupid little kids who sing the National Anthem. That's not patriotism, that's anarchy.
*Joe Saunders and Jered Weaver (badly) lip-synching to a stupid Bon Jovi song on a video that played between innings.
*Howie Kendrick grounding out with the stupid bases loaded.
*Stupid Mike Napoli (0 for 4! Niiice!) swinging at pitches that should not have been swung at.
*Too-kind Angel fans who need to get meaner and nastier--Yankee-fan style!--in their taunting of Red Sox players. (Suggestion: for Jon Lester's next start, try yelling “THROW THE BALL, CANCER BOY!”)
*The stupid ghost of Donnie Moore.
*Trading for stupid Mark Teixeira instead of Jason Bay--just for last night.
*The stupid WHAT A YEAR! slogan painted on the dugout rooftops, as if the year is somehow over, and the team is just awaiting an inevitable postseason collapse. Why not bring back YES WE CAN! from the 1979 season? Does Obama have the copyright?
*Stupid Jacoby Ellsbury.
*Vlad Guerrero on first. Torii Hunter bloop to right! GO, VLADY, GO! No . . . wait, hold up at second! Don't go to third, YOU ALWAYS RUN LIKE ONE LEG IS SHORTER THAN THE OTHER! GO BACK! STOP, VLADY, STOP! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!
*Stupid so-called fans who left after the eighth inning, when the Angels were only down by one run. Must really be stupid closeted Dodger fans.
*Stupid Gary Matthews, Jr. The lights got in his eyes?!?!?
*The guy a few seats away from me in section 515 who pelted one particularly stupid, obnoxious BoSox fan with candy after Jason Bay's 2-run ding. Next time, throw knives.
And 2 Reasons Why They'll Still Win this Series . . .
*In the 2002 postseason, they lost Game 1 of each series, to the Yankees, the Twins and the Giants, but they came back to win all three. Keep hope alive!
*Because the team with the best record in baseball should win the World Series, as opposed to, say, the stupid Dodgers, the team with the 13th best record in baseball, but who had the luck to be in a weak-ass division.
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Em says:
ummmm i thought those noise maker fans were pretty sweet. Hell of a lot better than actually having to clap.
Posted on Thursday, Oct. 2 2008 @ 3:02PM
el serracho says:
oh, the angels are the playoffs too? how cute. i'll check in on the game in between innings of the dodger game.
Posted on Thursday, Oct. 2 2008 @ 3:33PM
Matt Coker says:
re: The stupid WHAT A YEAR! slogan painted on the dugout rooftops: You do mean the stupid WHAT A YEAR! slogan painted on the dugout rooftops and not the stupid 2008 ALDS logo and not the stupid MLB NETWORK 2009 logo and not the stupid 2010 ALL-STAR GAME logo I also saw all over the teevee, right?
Posted on Thursday, Oct. 2 2008 @ 4:29PM
Rich Kane says:
Actually, what I REALLY meant are the stupid promos for stupid, unfunny impressionist Frank Calliendo and his stupid, unfunny TV show, which we're all forced to suffer through AGAIN this postseason, as long as the games are on TBS. Never thought I'd actually look FORWARD to listening to stupid Tim McCarver on stupid Fox...
Posted on Thursday, Oct. 2 2008 @ 4:48PM
joeboo@ says:
You forgot the most important reason:
Unlike the regular season, a short series is all about how 12 or so players produce, instead of a full roster. The Angels got great performances from their supporting cast this year, helping a team that, on paper, didn't have the names or stats of other teams, win more games.
But those bit players won't get much of a chance in this series. Which puts more pressure on the starting angels who are anything but proven commodities: like Kendrick, Napoli, Aybar and Matthews. Last night, they went zero for 14. Chone Figgins drew the collar five times in the lead-off spot. That doens't give the 3-4-5 hitters much to work with.
That's why the Red Sox will win this series. 3-5 the angels may have the edge, but 1-9 the red sox are vastly superior in terms of proven playoff experience.
or has anyone else noticed that Texarkana has never been in a playoff game, Vladdy is a wretched post-season hitter and Scott Spezio is no longer an Angel?
And, sorry, but the Angels have too many dopey looking white guys on their roster: garland, Saunders, Lackey, Speir, texarkana.Even jared weaver looks like a bad Todd Marinovich shroom trip.
and while we all know that Scioscia wouldn't have been half the player or a third of the manager without the experience of orbiting in the gravitational field of the great inter-galactic body named Lasorda, is he trying to duplicate his mentor's physicalities as well?
Don't fret: one Los Angeles baseball team will survive the first round.
Now the Man-Ram. There's a man's man. And a baseball player!!!!
And less we forget Joe Torre, a man who is the epitome of baseball. And not because of of his long playing or managing career. But because, in Jim Bouton's book, BALl four, a very ugly woman in the stands was once described by ballplayers as looking like:
Joe Torre with tits.
That's character, baby.
Posted on Thursday, Oct. 2 2008 @ 5:18PM
estes says:
Scoscia needs to give up on his catchers already...
Posted on Thursday, Oct. 2 2008 @ 5:59PM
Miguel C says:
That was a stupid game. It looked too much the past stupid games against those stupid dirty Red Sox. But, Who is JoeL Saunders? Who is the stupid editor who is supposed to catch those typos?
Why are Dodger fans so exited about a guy they call "MAN-RAM". Isn't that pretty gay. Or is just that the Dodger fans share that proud Mexican mentality that if you fuck a guy in the ass, that's not gay. But if you take it in the ass....what a fag. Either way, they can have their Red Sox cast off. Good luck affording you borrowed player next year. Or better yet, I hope you get him and all that comes with Man Ram being Man Ram.
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 8:19AM
Cesar says:
Ok, bandwagon Angel Fans, get onboard for your yearly demise. You may look all nice in your uniform red but why don't you stick to one color scheme for more than, say, two years. Stop trying to emulate Nebraska Red or Tx Ranger red. Go back to periwinkle and that stupid pigeon wing on the jersey front. You may have the best record in baseball and your stadium is full of 'entertainment' but it's obvious you need and more to keep you 'entertained'. Try and settle for, oh I don't know, a game of baseball and without the nedd for water shoots, fireworks, etc. But then again, your attention span and memory cache only dates back to your one and only Series victory. We (Dodgers) may not have a so-called state of the art stadium but I would take it above yours. So, cheers to you and your demise. GO AZUL!
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 8:31AM
Cesar says:
Hey, pendejo Miguel, bend over so that I can stick your Angels noise maker up your culo. I will make sure you are explained that I AM MExican and would stick that stick so far out your ass that you would be screaming "JIm ROME, JIM ROME!" since that's the frat asswipe who coined the Man=Ram name. So, fuck you and your team...GO AZUL!
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 8:34AM
Miguel C says:
Cesar,
You proved my point. Always with the ass play. Is that a Dodger thing too? Or that just trying to act all "prison tough"
Talk about distractions. I would rather have a little fireworks or water show for a home run, than some fat belligerent degenerate chant "fuck the...(fill in the blank)" Or "(Fill in the blank_ ....SUCK!"
Dodger fans trying to be all tough and street. It's a damn baseball game. It is entertainment it's meant to be fun. If you just want to act like a bunch of drunk, low life thug morons, PLEASE jump back on the Dodger bandwagon and get out of O.C. The only good thing about the Dodgers being in the play offs is we may be able to shake off some of those fickle Dodger fans who jumped on the Angels band wagon when they got tired of watching bad baseball.
Cesar, do you want to play with my ass even more now?
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 8:52AM
Gustavo Arellano says:
Hey, Cesar: You forgot to mention those hot South County/Newport Beach gals who shoot the T-shirts into the stands.
Miguel: Sounds like you're pining for you cell papi, ¿qué no?
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 8:54AM
Miguel C says:
Si Gustavo,
This is just foreplay for Cesar and I.
GO ANGELS!!!!
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 9:01AM
Cesar says:
Miguelito Pendejito,
Keep tickling my culo, papi, because that is what Angel fans are good for: puro foreplay and no finish. Keep barking out your ignorant generalities, you pinche vendido. My 'bandwagon' dates to my birth and through these veins run Dodger Blue as well as Laker Purple and Gold. And keep on lighting those stupid fireworks after an HR, I will continue to call the cops to squash your virtual noise machine. We Dodger fans not only talk the talk but also walk it, whether it's lean years or not. One thing I am jealous of your campo is, like 'Tavo says, your numerous plastic Barbie knock-offs. Man, what a sea of silicon tits (but NO NALGAS)! That's the worst part: No ASS on your ho's.. But keep your sorority puff heads and I will keep my raza and their 20 kids at the park and will have to do with the so-called cholo element. I'm in OC and, despite your talking ass point of 'leave it or love' I will stay and continue to rant against the fakes like yourself. Avoid the right world curtain (which I am sure you are a part of) pendejo, and instead of saying love it or leave it, say mejor love it and fix it. I will definitely try and fix you, my culo-tickling little love bitch.
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 10:31AM
Miguel C says:
Ceizure,
My summary of your post: " blah blah blah ASS blah blah blah ASS."
Just like I keep saying. You are obsessed with my ass.
But, the line about Angel's just being good for foreplay and no finish....that is a good one'. Sadly that has been the story for the last 5 years. Remind me about the last time the Dodgers finished the job. I am sure it must have been recently, right? Why else would you say that? I have been mistaken when I thought the last time they gave you more than foreplay, was 20 years ago.
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 11:26AM
Gustavo Arellano says:
Comments closed: continue the fun over here.
Posted on Friday, Oct. 3 2008 @ 11:30AM