Apparently there were 500 of them, a swarm of janitors in purple and yellow t-shirts making their way around the sprawling headache known lovingly as South Coast Plaza. They were scheduled to gather at noon on the corner of Sunflower and Bristol and then march to some undisclosed location and hold a rally. This would be the second march this week, a big gathering of unionized janitors calling for fair wages before next week's negotiations with the notorious B-R-E-N (Don, of Irvine Co.) and to show some love for the janitors up in L.A. who were on the verge of striking but are negotiating as we speak. I was held up at another meeting further down south, so I arrived at the corner 45 minutes late. I found nothing. It was multi-lane madness: a shitload of cars, and not a single human in sight.

According to a Department of Justice press release and reported by the Register, Charles Head, a 33-year-old from La Habra and several accomplices have been charged with illegal activities purportedly using the latest mortgage scam to come through the pipeline.

One can only expect more scams to surface soon in the wake of the "mortgage crisis," (otherwise known, at least by me, as the most shining contemporary example of both the greed and stupidity of the American people and the relentless unscrupulousness of our financial usury system, or GASAPRUFUS).

Head and 18 accomplices have been charged with mail fraud, conspiracy to commit mail fraud, conspiracy to commit money laundering and other related offenses resulting from an IRS and FBI investigation known as "Operation Homewrecker." According to the DOJ, they're accused of an "equity stripping" scheme where they fraudulently obtained titles to more than 100 homes and stole millions of dollars.

According to the DOJ, Head and his team of homewreckers found people over their head in their mortgage and promised them a way to make their payments on time with the help of an "investor." The phony investor, who of course pretends he still thinks the housing market will rebound, will make part of their mortgage payment if his or her name is put on the title.

This probably seemed like a a good idea to the kind of person who thought it was a good idea to buy a two-bedroom ranch-style house in Westminster for $650,000 on an adjustable rate mortgage. Wocka-Wocka! Joke's on you!

Well, once Mr. or Mrs. Investor made their way on to the home title, guess what they did? That's right, they went to the bank, refinanced, and stole all the equity out of the house, leaving the homeowner with even worse problems.

But alas, don't feel bad for the bank that lost millions, or the homeowners who lost millions because, one way or another, you will ultimately pay for it.

Here's the full list of those charged: CHARLES HEAD,33, of La Habra, California; JEREMY MICHAEL HEAD, 30, of Huntington Beach, California; ELHAM ASSADI, aka Elham Assadi Jouzani, aka Ely Assadi, 30, of Irvine, California; LEONARD BERNOT, 51, of Laguna Hills, California; AKEMI BOTTARI, 28, of Los Angeles; JOSHUA COFFMAN, 29, of North Hollywood; JOHN CORCORAN, aka Jack Corcoran, 52, of Anaheim; SARAH MATTSON, 27, of Phoenix, Arizona; DOMONIC McCARNS, 33, of Brea, California; ANH NGUYEN, 36, of Los Angeles; OMAR SANDOVAL, 32, of Rancho Cucamonga, California; XOCHITL SANDOVAL, 29, of Rancho Cucamonga; EDUARDO VANEGAS, 28, of Phoenix; ANDREW VU, 39, of Santa Ana; JUSTIN WILEY, 28, of Irvine; and KOU YANG, 32, of Corona, California.

Yorba Linda is now the richest city in the United States according to a newly released 2006 U.S. Census Bureau Report.

The ultra-chic YL, famous for being the birthplace of Richard Nixon, boasts an impressive median household income of $121,075. That's almost $18,000 above Newport Beach, which only placed third.

Guess now they're gonna have to change their name to Old-and-broke-port Beach.

Bangdon.

According to the newly released Forbes annual list of the world's richest people, there are 946 people in the world worth $1 billion or better. That's 178 more billionaires than Forbes counted last year. And yet somehow, even despite that remarkable growth in the membership of the International Billionaire Boys and Girls Club, I still feel confident in saying that if you're reading this blog, you didn't make the list. Sorry.

California did very well, and is more thickly carpeted with billionaires than any other state. OC, alas, doesn't crack the list until way down at number 80, when Donald Bren rears his reclusive head. According to Forbes, Bren is worth $8.5 billion. That was good enough to make him number 27 on Forbes' list of the 400 richest Americans last September, but on a global scale, $8.5 billion won't even get you in the top 75. (You'd need more than $8.8 billion to rank 75th.) Still, Bren did a lot better than fellow Newport Beach plutocrat George Argyros-- best known internationally as our former ambassador to Spain, but well known locally for allegedly "masterminding a systematic "rip-off" scam involving his 4,500-unit apartment empire" which catered mainly to poor Vietnamese and Mexican immigrants-- who is a lowly no. 583, with only $1.7 billion.

Even if Bren isn't running with the biggest of big dogs-- no. 1, Bill Gates ($56 billion); no. 2, Warren Buffet ($52 billion)-- or weighing his wallet on the same scale as the richest Californian, Larry Ellison (no. 11, with $21.5 billion), he still has one distinction that is all his own among the billionaires. Have either Gates or Buffet or Ellison ever had their penises featured in an OC Weekly cover story? No, but Donald Bren has. Some honors just can't be bought, no matter how much money you have.

Meanwhile, in other news, McClatchy Newspapers reports: "The percentage of poor Americans who are living in severe poverty has reached a 32-year high, millions of working Americans are falling closer to the poverty line and the gulf between the nation's "haves" and "have-nots" continues to widen."

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet

Clearly, Shakespeare makes a poor guide to Orange County real estate. According to real estate experts consulted by the Los Angeles Times, adding the name Newport Beach to your address "can increase property values by up to $100,000, if not more." And homeowners in the unincorporated West Santa Ana Heights, wedged in between Newport Beach and Costa Mesa, want in on that platinum-coated name. Newport is obliging them, the city has begun the process of annexing the neighborhood.

This annexation should go much more smoothly than a previous attempt in 2002. Of course, that time the city attempting to swallow the West Santa Ana Heights was the decided unglamourous Costa Mesa. Residents revolted, the attempt was scuttled. Still, there are those people for whom the neighborhood will always remain a part of greater Costa Mesa, at least in their hearts– and in this case, by "people" I mean Costa Mesa city officials. "Why would you create an island in the city of Costa Mesa that is called Newport Beach?" Costa Mesa City Council Member Katrina Foley plaintively asked the Times. I don't know– building on precedent? There already is an island in the city of Costa Mesa that is Newport Beach in all but name: South Coast Plaza. That mightiest of malls does its best to create the illusion that there is a corner of a foreign field that is forever Newport.