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NEWS FLASH: Mechanics are crooked

Posted by Alex Brant-Zawadzki in Main

January 1, 2008 1:53 PM

Permalink | Comments (5)

As dutifully chronicled by the unoverestimatable R. Scott Moxley (A Tale of Two Tapes), 2007 saw a nail driven into the coffin of Sheriff Michael Carona's political career, not to mention his testicles. When the LA Times is publishing pictures of your wife and your mistress, calling them the Two Debbies, you just know the country club won't renew your membership for love, money or even political favors.

Two Tapes. Two Debbies. Two convicted Haidls (father Don and son Greg). Two convicted associates (Cavallo and Jaramillo). Truly this story explores the duality of man, for we also have two imbeclies: Mike Carona and Tony "Dumb As A" Rackauckas, our ever-vigilant District Attorney. While he left the boring busywork of nabbing one of America's more prominent and well-funded lawmen to federal law enforcement, Tony Rock was busy with far more sophisticated police work.

Which is to say, they popped EZ Lube for overestimating the amount of repairs cars needed.

That's right. The DA's office is more concerned with auto mechanics than with the Orange County Sheriff. It's possible this is because Carona and Rackauckas share the same advisor--one Mike Schroeder. Or maybe there's a deeper story here.

From The OC Register, Dec. 31:


"We're preventing (EZ Lube) from doing any more unnecessary mechanical work … Our motivation is to make them honest,'' said District Attorney Tony Rackauckas. "If they're going to be dishonest and defraud people, we'll prosecute them."


See, Don Haidl used to be a used-car salesman. He then rose to the lofty rank of Sheriff's #1 money-man, and somewhere in the Top 3 all-time Sheriff Stooges. Now Rackauckas is busting auto mechanics. Could there be a method here?

Follow me on this one. Tony wants to clean up the county. But he can't start at the top; too much work, not to mention it would dick with his consiglieri's choke-hold on the county's power (and Carona's cock). But he DOES know that Haidl and Carona are tight. So he starts an elaborate plan to make a more honest county, starting with auto mechanics and moving up to used-car salesmen - like Don Haidl. Then, with an honest Haidl working on his behalf, Rackauckas could work on making the sheriff honest.

Too bad the lousy FBI came in with their lousy indictments for lousy corruption and lousy bribery and stuff. Lousy feds, ruining Rackauckas's delicate sense of timing.

And what would you prefer, anyway: honest auto mechanics, or honest cops? At least the mechanics only rape you on prices, right? Am I right?

That joke slays in the OC Jail.

Happy New Year! Watch out for corrupt auto mechanics! And sheriffs! And district attorneys!

 

Comments (5)

  1. Om says:
    January 1, 2008 20:15

    Stay away from Santa Ana Honda. They rip you off and don't even complete the repairs they charge you for!

  2. Bob Squalonero says:
    January 2, 2008 08:20

    Not to get religious on anyone, but I feel that the following Bible verses (Matt. 7:3-5 KJV) from the Jesus' sermon on the mount, are appropo:

    "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
    Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
    Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye."

  3. OC Dilbert says:
    January 2, 2008 19:06

    I'm certain that if the OC DA's Office handled the sheriff's prosecution instead of the FBI, the OC Weekly would be (rightly) crying bullshit. Handing this off to the FBI was the correct thing to do because of the Schroeder connection. The Weekly did a great job running the corruption story down. Dont cheapen it by taking a shot at the DA for doing the right thing.

  4. beezoar says:
    January 2, 2008 21:03

    Welcome back, Alex! OCW missed your twisted wit and the Haidl context is where you started, huh....." lotta water under the bridge and a lot of other stuff too.." B Dylan

  5. Alex Brant-Zawadzki says:
    January 3, 2008 04:36

    OC Dilbert: Regardless of what anyone may have done had any potential situations arisen - I'm less concerned with the fact that the DA is not currently prosecuting the Sheriff, but more concerned that he NEVER prosecuted the Sheriff.

    And I'll take my cheap shots where I can get them, thanks.

    Beezoar: Gorsh, thanks ... Dad.

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