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Do you know Dick? Nixon that is.

Posted by Amanda Parsons in Main

January 9, 2008 2:45 PM

Permalink | Comments (6)

In honor of our 37th president's would-be birthday today we here at the Weekly have decided to create a quiz to test our readers' knowledge of their only locally born president, Richard Nixon. He's from Yorba Linda, donchaknow.

1. What is Dick's middle name?

A. Homer
B. Bart
C. Smithers
D. Milhous

2. What was Dick's nickname?

A. Tricky Dick
B. Lil' Wiener
C. Dickface
D. Rich Kane

3. What caused Dick to resign from the presidency?

A. The theft of numerous large black dildos
B. An array of illegal and secret activities such as tapping the phones of numerous journalists and administration officials in an effort to stop information leaks to the press; the 1971 burglary of Dr. Lewis Fielding's office in search of the psychiatric records of Daniel Ellsberg, who leaked the Pentagon Papers to the press; orders to have the FBI investigate reporter Daniel Schorr (CBS News) after he reported critically on the administration; and talk by Nixon's aide G. Gordon Liddy about having the newspaper columnist Jack Anderson assassinated.
C. Running naked through the rose garden
D. Mistakingly saying "I love your bush" in Mandarin during a diplomatic meeting with Chairman Mao

4. What were Nixon's accomplishments as president?

A. Finding the Holy Grail
B. Defeating a fleet of ninja warriors who were attempting to infiltrate the Pentagon using only a spork for a weapon
C. Improving foreign diplomatic relations with China and the former Soviet Union and ending American involvement in the Vietnam war
D. Single-handedly inspiring a world of Anime lovers to adopt the "two-fingered v" pose as their signature photo stance.


5. What were Dick's famous parting words?

A. "I quit this bitch."
B. "I left a present for you in the bathroom and it's not a nice one."
C. "Do you think it could have been the sausage?"
D. "I am not a crook."
E. None of the above.

 

Comments (6)

  1. Anonymous says:
    January 9, 2008 15:48

    By far the worst post ever in OC Weekly history--not funny, nothing new, NOTHING. And President Nixon's comment about not being a crook weren't parting words--he said it YEARS before he left. Idiots.

  2. Anonymous says:
    January 9, 2008 17:21

    I thought it was funny.

  3. cook says:
    January 9, 2008 18:12

    I forgot it was Nixons birthday and his library was open at no charge today.

    He was chased out of office by blood thirsty democrats because he ended their nasty little war against Asians.

  4. Bob Squalonero says:
    January 10, 2008 04:55

    This is what happens to America when you let a "Dick" and a "Bush" run the country. ;-)

  5. J.D. Brox says:
    January 10, 2008 06:49

    {Anonymous 1 aka Perpetually Indignant Shrill SnippY (PISSY) Republican: "President Nixon's comment about not being a crook weren't parting words--he said it YEARS before he left. Idiots."}

    So the answer would be E, right? Take a Valium, pal. Jeez ...

  6. richard nixon's ghost says:
    January 10, 2008 10:10

    I am NOT a quiz!

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