With his book subject Mitt Romney (thankfully) out of the presidential race, Orange County's own nationally syndicated yackmouth Hugh Hewitt is desperately trying to remain relevant in this year's presidential race by trotting out the lamest smear attempt since Democratic Party nominee Barack Obama's middle name. Here and here, Baby Hewie tries to make an issue of Obama's 1995 memoir Dreams from my Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance. "It has to be the most unusual book ever by a presidential aspirant," Baby Hewie writes, "and much of what he writes cannot be classified as mainstream, and some of what he wrote would shock the average American, including his causal use of profanity and his admission concerning past cocaine use." A strange assertion considering Lyndon LaRouche and A Charge To Keep, but fine, Hugh: we'll play your game. So what offends him so much about Obama's writing? He points to pages 72-74 at the beginning of Chapter 4 in Dreams from My Father. The shocking details after the jump!

In those pages, Obama recounts a conversation he had as a high schooler at the Punahou School with a fellow African-American. The subject? What every red-blooded American high schooler talks about: getting some tail and sports. Obama's friend complains about his lack of said getting tale, claiming girls at the school are "A-1 USDA-Certified racists." Obama shoots back by saying it's the guy's "big butt" that rains on his game: "Just 'cause a girl don't go out with you doesn't make her racist," Obama tells his friend.

The conversation moves on to sports. Again, the friend complains it's his skin color that stymies their playing time. Obama goes back to the dating subject and agrees it's hard to get dates in Hawaii because there are so few black girls, but that doesn't signify racism in his eyes. "Maybe [non-black chicks] just want someone that looks like their daddy, or their brother, or whatever, and we ain't it." As for sports, Obama says that their basketball coach prefers players who "play like white boys," and that the team was winning, meaning Obama and his pal don't get much time on the court." But Obama then goes on to say his friend suffers a lot because he's a "smart-assed black man." The friend accuses Obama of shilling for whitey, and the book moves on.

Can anyone find ANYTHING remotely offensive in this passage? Maybe "play like white boys," but Baby Hewie obviously don't care much for cagers--otherwise he'd know such a statement is a compliment. Nevertheless, he claims that "past profanity cases like Nixon's 'expletive deleteds,' Bush's description of a New York Times' reporter and Dick Cheney's response to Pat Leahy have generated enormous headlines, but never has a presidential candidate ever purposefully recorded himself swearing so profusely or with such variety."

Baby Hewie: big difference is that in the passage you cited, Obama insulted no one. Compare that to your old boss Nixon, courtesy of the Rotten.com library:

"The Jews -- the Jews are, are born spies. You notice how many of them are just in up to their necks?"

"On a personal basis, Rockefeller is a pretty nice guy. Reagan, on a personal basis, is terrible. He just isn't pleasant to be around."

"Sure, Aristotle was a homo, we all know that, so was Socrates. [...] Do you know what happened to the Romans? The last six Roman emperors were fags."

"The Mexicans are a different cup of tea. They have a heritage. At the present time they steal, they're dishonest, but they do have some concept of family life. They don't live like a bunch of dogs, which the Negroes do live like."

"You see: homosexuality, dope, immorality in general -- these are the enemies of strong societies. That's why the Communists and the left-wingers are pushing the stuff; they're trying to destroy us."

"The Bohemian Grove -- which I attend, from time to time -- it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine, with that San Francisco crowd. I can't shake hands with anybody from San Francisco."

Better luck with your smears next time, Hugh!