Orange County News Blog

​Sorry to say I don't know much about Saddleback College in Mission Viejo. I went there once with a cute Vietnamese girl in 2001 to hear Nobel Prize laureate Rigoberta Menchu speak, and I once asked South Orange County Community College District trustee and longtime GOP head Tom Fuentes about his feelings regarding the Diocese of Orange sex-abuse scandal (the very first Ex Cathedra story) after a board meeting at the hilly campus. And my chica once presented there, so I had to drop her off.

My first actual visit to the campus happened last week, at a well-attended lecture that was well-attended only because nearly all the attendees earned extra credit. I took a quick glance at the school's newspaper, the Lariat, before my speech and became speechless. There, in the sports page, was the logo for Saddleback's sports teams' nickname, the Gaucho, the fabled cowboy of the Argentine pampas. Except it wasn't a Gaucho--it was a dirty Mexican that looked just like my dirty Mexican!

Above is the logo for my Ask a Mexican! column. Click on the jump to see Saddleback's "gaucho."

Congrats, Gustavo! The Association of Alternative Newsweeklies has nominated "¡Ask a Mexican!" as a finalist in the Column (circulation 50,000 and over) category for 2009.

He won the award last year, and the AAN press release says this is his "third award" -- though it's not clear whether that includes simple nominations or not. I'd ask the hombre for clarification, but he aint in the office right now. Probably signing some books, accepting an award or eating a burrito somewhere.

[5/20: Corrected to remove "American" from the AAN's name. For the truth about Gustavo's award count, check the comment left below by AAN Executive Director Richard Karpel]

I have a tortured relationship with most of my alma maters. I speak at high schools across Southern California before assemblies and classes, yet have spoken at Anaheim High but once since I graduated in 1997--and when I did, my former biology teacher ridiculed my decision to work for the Weekly. Earlier this year, I visited Orange Coast College for the first time since leaving in 1999. I got banned from a press conference at Chapman University (B.A., Film Studies, 2001) for daring to write that the school's financial godfather, slumlord George Argyros, was largely to blame for the horrible Madrid bombings of 2004; because of that article, President Jim Doti once told a group of student researchers I didn't reflect the schools' values. And my time at U.C.L.A was so short that I don't even speak with my academic advisors for my master's degree--and I know one of them once told a Chapman U professor what the fuck was I trying to do with ¡Ask a Mexican!?

None of those institutions have bestowed me with the honor Fullerton College has just announced: they are picking my Orange County: A Personal History as the school's 2009/2010 selection for its One School, One Book program. Over the next school year, participating Fullerton College students and faculty will read, discuss, and God-knows-what-else my book. Why they picked Orange County: A Personal History over other stellar choices such as Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers and Funny in Farsi is beyond my comprehension. I never attended the oldest community college in California, mentioned it once in my book, and the only faculty I know is journalism head Jay Seidel (who always invites me to speak at juco journalism conferences for no fee whenever they're held at Cal State Fullerton) and a political science lecturer whose name I can't remember. Nevertheless: gracias, Hornets, for the honor. You shan't regret it, and you get journalistic immunity from me until I finish this sentence...right about...now. Period.

Part I at 4 p.m.: Downtown Los Angeles walking tour of lynch spots! Interview with the man behind this ultimate tourist trap, Scripps College Professor Ken Gonzales-Day.

Part II at 4:20 p.m.: Southern California ethnic news aggregator LA Beez.

Part II at 4:40 p.m.: Your calls regarding your favorite Southern California news sources--blogs, radio shows, newspapers, random guys walking down the street. Full list on this blog tomorrow!

KPFK-FM 90.7, that paragon of progressive radio power, has drunk too much tequila and allowed me to host my own one-hour radio show. I start tomorrow at 4 p.m. and will air there until the foreseeable future. I won't divulge my game plan except the show will feature two 20-minute interviews and 20 minutes of listener calls until I figure out how to properly produce a radio story. Oh, and also, the Monks!

As readers of this blog know, I run occasional contests giving away copies of my books (Bryan Crowther? You got the city where Nigger Canyon is but never emailed me to claim your prize. Where are you?). As much as I want people to buy a copy so I can get a penny off of the royalty, I also understand the importance of spreading the Good News about a product. Seriously, folks: if you approach me and I have a copy of either ¡Ask a Mexican! or Orange County: A Personal History in hand, I'll probably give it to you--just ask.

A couple of days ago, a woman called me with an interesting proposition--she wanted a book and offered to give me a colonic in exchange. I've been accused of a potty mouth and been threatened with ass-kickings many times before, but this was ridiculous. Besides, lentils do wonders in clearing out your innards. The woman followed up with an email, where I politely declined her invitation. "You don't know what you're missing," she wrote. I'm sure I'll learn in a decade or so, when my doc'll insist on prostate cancer checkups. I wonder if Mark Twain was ever similarly propositioned?

The Costco in Signal Hill, to be exact, as you can tell by that big yellow stack of books in the middle of this crappy camera phone pic. That, of course, is a pile of Gustavo Arellano's fresh new tome Orange County: A Personal History, going for a super-cheap price of $14.99. Oddly, Signal Hill isn't in Orange County, but firmly landlocked in LA County, surrounded entirely by Long Beach. Oddlier, yesterday I was at the La Habra Costco (it's been a big Costco weekend for me), and true to the mega-warehouse chain's often maddening policy of only offering certain items at certain stores and not others, there wasn't a single copy for sale anywhere. Helloooo, Costco book buyers! Rumor hazzit that La Habra may be home to a Mexican or three...

Gustavo in Costco! What's next -- Oprah's Book Club?

Ahhh, but with such choice retail placement comes a price. Notice that dark blob to the left of Gustavo's book? That would be a pile of the quickie Sarah Palin paperback bio. Even better -- that other dark pile to the right of Gustavo's book? You got it -- Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life.

Hey, Gustavo . . . can I have my free copy now?

With apologies to Orange County Register sports genius Randy Youngman, notes, quotes and observations from my Sept. 18 book signing at the Yost Theater for my new book, Orange County: A Personal History:

*About 500 people showed up to hear my lecture! About 500! I add the qualifier because the Yost's bottom shell seats 500--there were empty seats, but not many, and there were also a lot of people standing in the lobby or in the aisles. Gracias to everyone who attended; to everyone else, you missed out.

*Throughout my lecture, I wore a orange bag worn for decades by Ignacio Lujano, the iconic orange picker whom San Juan Capistrano officials booted out last month.

*Hosting the event was Libreria Martinez. They sold quite a few of my books. I'm happy, not so much that people bought my book but that people bought them from the wonderful bookstore. Please visit them (1110 N. Main St., Santa Ana, 714-973-7900) and buy something.

*People of note spotted: SanTana City Council candidates Art Pedroza and Lisann Martinez (running against Busty Bustamante and Claudia Alvarez, respectively), mayoral candidate Michelle Martinez (who introduced Macarthur genius Reuben Martinez), former councilmember Mike Garcia, Rage against the Machine frontman Zack de la Rocha, Garden Grove City Council candidate Linh Ho, Greer Wylder of Greer's OC (the first person in line for the book signing!), Register reporters Rachanee Srisavasdi and Andrew Galvin (each bought my book), Chris Prevatt of Liberal OC, Rancho Santiago Community College District trustees John Hannah (who's giving my book to OC Blog master Matt "Jubal" Cunningham--now THAT'S going to be fun!) and Al Amezcua, Mendez vs. Westminster documentarian Sandra Robbie, Bibliocracy host (and Weekly contributor) Andrew Tonkovich, and none other than Huell Bleepin' Howser! Needless to say, Howser proved the most popular person of the night.

*The after party was held at Libreria Martinez, where a good 100 folks retired to drink free beer, wine, and tequila and nosh on Nouveau Mexican snacks prepared by Luz Maria Encinas, who created delightful sopes, salads and a killer creme brulee.

*The after-after part was at Memphis at the Santora, where some hipster douche tried to pick a fight with me...but I'll talk about that in another post.

*Although this was the Orange County history event of the week, Chris Jepsen--a worker at the Orange County Archives who runs his own personal OC history blog--couldn't bring himself to even mention my book or the event until reading Peter Larsen's snarky review, adding "the review makes it sound like [Gustavo's] book is very similar to his work elsewhere." You can deduce his cryptic line by reading this, and remembering Jepsen mostly posts about safe stuff like pictures, orange crate labels, and Register stories while never mentioning my work this year on Joel Dvorman, Henry W. Head, the Bowers Museum's KKK tree, Ignacio Lujano, and all the other history stories that make such orange crate historians act like little you-know-whats.

*Updated mucho times, inshallah...

My book is out--go to the signing this Thursday at the Yost--and a couple of reviews are trickling in, unlike the tsunami of praise weathered by my Scribner hermano, Chuck Klosterman. The good, the bad, and the estúpido below, along with memorable pull quotes!

*What's Up Weekly, the alt-weekly in El Paso: "a sly, if sometimes uneven, marriage of autobiography and civic history." Better one: "In these historical chapters, Arellano’s pen bleeds with righteous, light-hearted anger, exposing hypocrisies, recounting scandals and upending fallacies like a wisecracking, Spanglish-speaking Howard Zinn." Put that one on my tombstone, por favor.

*Pedro and the Watcher, blog/sometimes-column from the Orange County Register: The family portion of the book is "a fresh presentation of a common story for many in Orange County," but "The Orange County history is mostly stuff you already know if you’ve been paying attention, or presented through such a relentlessly negative lens that by the end of the book you wonder why, if he’s so appalled by the place, he didn’t move away years ago." And then gets more bitchy from there!

*Bibliocracy, KPFK-FM 90.7 show: "We see a young man reconcile with and even thrive in the place Ronald Reagan said good Republicans go to die, and get city profiles and restaurant reviews too!"

More as they come, God willing!

When I had my first book signing for ¡Ask a Mexican! at Librería Martinez last year, more than 300 people showed up, and many more were turned away because we crammed the store like illegals in a Chevy trunk. Let's hope as many people show up, if not more, on Sept. 18. That's when I have my first Orange County book signing for my new book, Orange County: A Personal History, my take on our crazy county and my retelling of my family's four-generation zacatecano invasion of Anaheim. Instead of holding the event at Libreria Martinez, however, Macarthur Genius-winning owner Rueben Martinez has decided to hold it at the historic Yost Theater in downtown SanTana, a perfect choice considering I open one of my chapters with its sad story and recent promise.

Just one problem: the Yost holds about 500 people. We need to fill it up lest I talk to blackness. So help a brother out and spread the word, will ya? Click on the flyer and spread it around, or just forward the info below to every person you've ever known, and 30 billion more:

WHO: Me, Gustavo Arellano OCW
WHAT: Signing for Orange County: A Personal History
WHEN: September 18 (Thursday), 7 p.m.
WHERE: Yost Theater, 307 N. Spurgeon St., Santa Ana (corner of Third and Spurgeon streets)
WHY: Because Orange County history is fun! More importantly, support the still-struggling Libreria Martinez--even if you don't give a shit about my book, they'll have a stand there with other books.

CONTACT INFO: (714) 973-7900 (Libreria Martinez phone number), or themexican@askamexican.net

A couple of weeks ago, I noted that my coming Orange County: A Personal History was positively reviewed by Kirkus, one of the two major book review journals in the publishing world. Today, I found out that the other one just weighed in: Publishers Weekly. And not just any review: my book received a coveted starred review, which is about as easy to get from the company as nice words about illegals from the Minuteman Project.

The review is here, but I include it after the jump in its entirety:

On Sept. 16, Scribner will release Orange County: A Personal History, my history of our Promised Land coupled with the truth behind the Mexican invasion as experienced through my family. Funny thing is, I'm not even officially finished with the book yet the first review is already in—and it's glowing! The review after the jump comes from the July 1 issue of Kirkus Reviews, one of the two main book review journals in the United States (Publishers Weekly being the other):

With apologies to Orange County Register sports genius Randy Youngman, notes, quotes and observations from yesterday’s sojourn to Sacramento, where I received a Latino Spirit Award (honoring Latinos who have made a positive contribution to California) from the California Latino Legislative Caucus:

*Hosting me for two days was the saintly, ever-hilarious Matt Coker, longtime managing editor of the OC Weekly, currently editor at the Sacramento News and Review. Clockwork Coker remains as troublemaking as every—the latest cover story involved furries. He’s currently very happy because your Anaheim Angels are kicking ass.

*Latino Spirit Award winners included longtime Raiders quarterback Jim Plunkett, legendary playwright Luis Valdez, teacher Jaime Escalante (of Stand and Deliver fame), other worthy businessmen, activists, and movie producers—and me. I was the youngest of the honorees by at least 20 years.

*Why did I receive the award? Blame Hector de la Torre, assemblyman from South Gate. A couple of months ago, we met for breakfast burritos at Athenian Burger #3 in Buena Park, where he interviewed me to see if I was worthy of the award. It wasn’t De La Torre’s decision alone—he nominated me, and the other members of the Latino Legislative Caucus had to approve it. Gracias, cabrones.

*Before we were recognized on the Assembly floor, staffers herded us into a room named after longtime Speaker of the Assembly Willie Brown. Without warning, Chuck Devore burst in. “Did you bring my book?” he said with a grin, referring to China Attacks, his 2001 tome you can find at San Diego State’s bookstore for 24 freakin’ cents.

To paraphrase a paraphrase of Mark Twain, reports of my deportation have been greatly exaggerated.

Yes, I know I announced last Thursday that I was ending my ¡Ask a Mexican! column, but few people seemingly bothered to read the line where I stated my self-deportation was "effective the feast day of St. Melito," which happens to fall today. April Fools'!

In this day of Google and instant knowledge, I must admit I was shocked that only two people called me on my bluff: Diego Renteria, an 18-year-old student at Harvard who runs the fine blog Soledad en Masa, and my best friend. Sources much more reputable than them, from bloggers at the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times to Reason editor (and my old Times op-ed boss) Matt Welch, to the magnificent LAObserved and the many newspaper and radio reporters seeking an interview with me to discuss the retirement, initially fell for the prank (any mitigations came after initial posts marking my passing as fact). And, sí, Kevin Roderick: my farewell column counts as an April Fools' joke even though it published on Thursday--remember that I set it to activate on the feast day of St. Melito. April Fools'!

So, to clear up any confusion, and to paraphrase a paraphrase of a Byrds' paraphrase of Bob Dylan: I ain't going nowhere. I do stand by most of the assertions in my "finale": not enough of you are uploading questions to my YouTube channel. Mexicans are Americans--at least this anchor baby, and the hundreds of fellow anchor babies he knows. The column will one day follow in the grand tradition of American ethnic humor like Mr. Dooley and Pat Morita and be looked at as an antiquated relic of a time when America was too xenophobic to bother realizing its idiot immigrants were invigorating the Republic anew. But that time isn't now, so keep sending questions, cabrones!

To close, a couple of Confidential Tos:

*To the hundreds of people who emailed me and left comments on my MySpace pageexpressing sadness that I was canceling Ask a Mexican!: Gracias for the kind words and support from the bottom of my heart. My column would be nothing without ustedes.

*To the three people who emailed me expressing happiness I was quitting, and the dozens who left nasty comments on various blogs: You hate me, you really hate me! I'm honored you waste so much energy on me. Don't you know that my ego feeds off your love? Honestly, the worst thing you Know Nothings can do is ignore me--but since ustedes love me so, I'm glad that won't ever happen!

*To Tony O: Amateur enough for ya?

*To the California Coalition for Immigration Reform: The only people in my life who have ever called me "Gus" were unassimilated Mexicans. Since when did wabs take over CCIR?

*To Albuquerque Weekly Alibi editor Christie Chisolm: Gracias for the idea!

*To everyone else: The paperback edition of Ask a Mexican! comes out April 22--pre-order today!

*Updated, with new material on the bottom...

My ¡Ask a Mexican! YouTube experiment is barely a month old, and some Know Nothings are already missing the point. Take the example of YouTube subscriber Aztlanbuster, who stole my YouTube clip regarding the Reconquista and relabeled it "MEXICANS WANT CANADA TOO." I thought it was Mexicans who were prone to stealing and piratería, Aztlanbuster—gracias for proving me wrong! And the lack of humor toward satire—are you majoring in Chicano Studies?

Not missing the point is Brook Young, proprietor of Immigration Watchdog and a guy who's so border enforcement-serious users must register to post comments on his site. Since I don't have papers to comment on his site, I'll use the open borders at Navel Gazing to extend my thanks to Brook for his plug today titled "Brown Supremacist Gustavo Arellano Shows His Ugly Face On YouTube." Dunno where you got the brown supremacist thing from—I was fighting your raison d'etres over at La Voz de Aztlan and the Mexica Movement before Lou Dobbs knew what a La Raza was, although I won't dispute your description of my mug. But wasn't it Thoreau who said those who sport soul patches shouldn't throw ugly charges? Congrats, by the way, on making the Southern Poverty Law Center's latest Nativist watch alongside our very own Wiley Drake. And buena suerte (Aztlanista for "good luck") with your fight against Minuteman founder Jim Gilchrist!

**UPDATE: The MySpace page Exposing Justice--devoted to exposing "criminal illegal aliens" and definitely not Raza--weighs in.

The logo for my ¡Ask a Mexican! column has been used to promote everything from phone cards to sexual harassment claims, but never, never gay porn--until now.

We won't plug the website that's using the Mexican logo without our permission or that of the mad genius who created the illustration, Mark Dancey, but we will say that this website uses the logo in the Dirty Sanchez sense to entice horny guys to subscribe to its offerings. To wit:

Hola Gringos! Come on in and take a dirty look around. Come see my stash of dirty gay porn sites! I got dirty cheap trials and dirty free porn sites too! Come back and visit me again coz I find you more every week!

And:

Escuchame mis dirty little muchachos! These dirty trials are all legit. Dirty [Gustavo's note: name redacted so the pendejos don't get any hits] have a dirty great time trying them all - mi salchicha is well worned out!!! The dirty boys on these dirty gay porn sites are muy caliente.

I'm all for my joto brothers to get their rocks off, but not at mine or Dancey's expense. Sorry, chulos: the Mexican is more of a Brazzers type of guy.

Buried deep in the pages of something called the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer was an Associated Press dispatch revealing that your favorite wab is amongst the winners of this year's Civies, an award given out by the Americans for More Civility, a group of exactly two people.

In announcing my honor, the organization said that the Mexican "offered something novel to the immigration debate: a few laughs ..." Other winners this year included retired Supreme Court judge Sandra Day O'Connor and Brad Pitt--and that's the last time you'll ever see my name next to people of such real caliber.

From LA Observed: Gustavo's Ask A Mexican column is in this year, while Miss Manners is out - according to Hank Stuever at the Washington Post.

Also on The List:

OUT: Pinkberry; IN: Vita Coco
OUT: Sex; IN: Naps
OUT: Meerkats; IN: Squirrels
OUT: "Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!"; IN: “Yo Gabba Gabba!”

KFI finally uploaded our Mexican's 11/30 show in three parts: "Assimilation debate," "Illegals and crime" and "Ask a Mexican."

Leave it to KFI to label the first two segments in such a way. Don't be fooled, Gustavo talks about way more than that and plays some awesome music. He also slams the phone on some ranting idiot boxes.

Listen in to find out what avocados have to do with testicles. . .

*Thanks to Pablo for the tip.

The most common question I received all weekend, after I appeared on KFI-AM 640 to ply my ¡Ask a Mexican! spiel: How the hell did I smuggle myself onto the KFI airwaves? Tequila? Are they sponsoring my citizenship? Tamales?

Chalk it up to luck, idiocy, and graciousness.

A couple of months ago, I received an email from Neil Saavedra, KFI's marketing director, host of The Jesus Christ Show, and OC Weekly cover boy. He was wondering if I'd be interested in guest-hosting on KFI. After reassuring me he wasn't joking, Neil said he'd take the idea to KFI programming director Robin Bertolucci. We had lunch a couple of weeks later, where I pitched my radio show idea to the two--non-stop bashing of Carona and the Catholic Church, with ¡Ask a Mexican! for the last hour. They seemed interested but I left lunch with no promises for guest-hosting in the future.

Seriously: tomorrow, at 7 p.m. inshallah, yours truly will be a guest host on KFI-AM 640. Sí, the same KFI of perpetual Latino immigrant antagonizers John & Ken, of Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Laura, Matt Drudge, and so many other conservative darlings is allowing this Mexican to peddle his Reconquista propaganda for three hours--no restrictions, no co-host to mitigate. I'll do some on-air "Ask a Mexican" until the masses tire of it, at which point...well, you'll just have to tune in tomorrow, ¿qué no?

A couple of weeks ago, your favorite wab invaded the pages of the Eugene Weekly, the great alt-weekly that serves Eugene, Oregon. The reception hasn't been bueno--in fact, Eugene Weekly editor Ted Taylor met yesterday with "concerned Latino community leaders" (my quotes, not his) who want him to drop the column. In order to explain ¡Ask a Mexican! to the non-satire inclined, the paper's cover story this week is an interview with me, which touches on the same notes that this one and this one did. And for further merriment, check out this segment on a Eugene television station. Confidential to the Asian chick, who fretted that the next insulting column down my slippery slope would be "Ask an Asian": it's even better than that--it's "Ask a Korean!", and it's pinche brilliant.

One of the most-asked questions in ¡Ask a Mexican! history is why Mexican men love to sexually harass women so much. Folks don't seem to buy my explanation that it's a guy thing, not a Mexican thing.

Well, the recent reports exposing New York Jets fans as the greatest harassers since Bill Clinton should put the Mexican claims to rest--yeah, right...

See also the always-fabulous Smoking Gun for more idiot Jets fans...

In a way. Long Beach State journalism professor Christopher Karadjov also writes a weekly column for a Bulgarian newspaper about life in the States. In October, he wrote about my ¡Ask a Mexican! column to good feedback from his Bulgarian readership (whom, no doubt, are predisposed to like Mexicans since they upset Mexico in the 1994 FIFA World Cup). He shared this information with me yesterday, when I spoke to his senior seminar on opinion-writing at Long Beach State. As to what Karadjov actually wrote, the good professor writes he'll share with us non-Buggers soon!

UPDATE: Croatia also loves ¡Ask a Mexican!

In case you couldn't be there, Luke Ford was, and links to the video he shot of the event on Youtube.

The awards keep piling up for ¡Ask a Mexican!--but not that we're keeping track. And today, we receive word that others are winning awards off of us. The two guys and one gal at KCAL-FM 96.7's Morning Stiffy Show in the Inland Empire called us today (actually, interviewed us) and revealed they recently won an award for Best Interview from the Morning Show Boot Camp, the country's premier gathering of morning shows. The subject of the interview? Yo, earlier this summer. Congrats, Stiffies: now howzabout ustedes mow MY lawn for a change?

In June, Gustavo Arellano took home the LA Press Club's prestigious President's Award for his much linked-to and ripped off "Ask A Mexican" column. And yesterday, we saw him running around the office in a suit and tie instead of the usual button-down shirt, toting a rather large engraved crystal. The reason? The National Hispanic Media Coalition deemed him worthy of their Impact Award for Excellence in Print Journalism.

Congrats, Gustavo! But here's hoping you weren't wearing that suit + sneakers combo at the actual ceremony...

Months ago, while I was in New York for business, I asked my editor at Scribner if the rumor was true: Was the best damn publishing house on Earth really talking with Daniel Hernandez about bringing him into our familia? My jefe said sí, and I rejoiced.

Hernandez, for those of you who aren't familiar, is an award-winning 26-year-old chingón: a staff writer at LA Weekly, keeper of one of Southern California's more eclectic blogs, as apt to write about mustaches as he is deflating false saints. A good guy, talented as fuck--and the man who made my career.

¡Ask a Mexican! has directly inspired some columns (Ask a Cuban-American, Ask a Korean) or been the basis for shameless rip-offs (The Ethnicist, I'm looking at you--and why haven't you posted in ages?). It was under this aegis of debunking stereotypes that new Anchorage Press editor Bingo Barnes thought it would be smart to solicit writers for a column aimed at explaining Alaska's natives--would call it "Ask an Eskimo," even.

Boy, was Barnes wrong. After a snow flurry of controversy, Barnes has apologized, but the natives (both white and not) are still fuming. The Press no longer plans to run "Ask an Eskimo!" and we think it's a shame. The only things I know about Alaska's natives is a result of watching Chilly Willy and Nanook of the North and eating too many damn Eskimo Pies. Oh, and The Simpsons Movie part with the Eskimo with the big mamaganzas--that's documentary, right?

Every month, I appear on the Kevin and Bean Show on KROQ-FM 106.7 and play live ¡Ask a Mexican! It's a fun segment, if only so that listeners can hear the boyos' theme song for the bit--a snippet of every alt-rock song that has ever contained the word "Mexico," along with Cheech Marin's classic "Mexican-Americans" from back in his Chong days.

Today, many readers informed me that Kevin and Bean introduced a new segment to their show: "Axe a Black." Has the show already become so Mexican that they must resort to our proud tradition of piratería? Not quite: They freely cited me as inspiration. Haven't heard the segment yet, but I think Kevin and Bean would have more success with "Ask an Armenian."