Orange County News Blog

Rawitz (L) saved Sheriff Carona's sorry ass

​Sadly, Jeffrey M. Rawitz--one of Jones Day's feisty defense lawyers who represented ex-Orange County Sheriff Mike Carona in his federal corruption trial earlier this year--is hospitalized in Los Angeles at Cedars Sinai Medical Center.

During Carona's three-month trial in Santa Ana, Rawitz participated in almost all hearings despite significant spinal cord pain following a pre-trial accident. He often limped in and out of U.S. District Judge Andrew Guilford's courtroom, but always fought strenuously on Carona's behalf. Indeed, Rawitz was singlehandedly the life of the defense--an opinion numerous jurors shared with me after a lucky Carona won acquittal on five of six charges.

The injury has now caused Rawitz to resign not just from Carona's defense team (which is appealing the conviction for sabotaging a federal grand jury investigating corruption at the Orange County Sheriff's Department) but also from Jones Day.

"I am in a lot of pain," Rawitz, 46, told me last night in a phone interview from his hospital bed. "I am really hurting."

And, true to form, he continued to lobby me, perhaps Carona's biggest media critic.

"Someday, I'm going to convince you," he said, "that the government's case against Carona was weak."

I don't know about that assertion given that federal prosecutors Brett Sagel and Ken Julian proved beyond a doubt that Carona was a sheriff-hoodlum with egomaniac tendencies, but I do pray that Rawitz heals quickly.

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Two Top OC Cops Turn Convicted Felons

​He once dreamed of becoming California's first Latino governor. He finagled an improbable transition from Garden Grove police sergeant to the powerful No. 2 post at the Orange County Sheriff's Department (OCSD). He even managed to create a fan club within the George W. Bush White House. But late Monday afternoon, ex-Assistant Sheriff George Jaramillo discovered there are consequences to unbridled ambition: a 27-month federal prison sentence and the forfeiture of at least $233,000.

"I am here to say that I am profoundly sorry for what I have done," a weepy Jaramillo (pictured on the left with Sheriff Mike Carona) told U.S. District Judge Andrew J. Guilford before punishment was announced in the bribery case against him. "My cavalier, irresponsible, lackadaisical mode of operation while sitting in a position of public trust was criminal. I need to apologize publicly. I was not raised to violate the law. . . . I blame no one for the circumstances I am in."

But if Jaramillo, who considers himself an expert strategist, thought his words would seal a sweetheart deal that would keep him out of prison in exchange for home confinement, he was terribly misguided. Indeed, the hearing wowed those in attendance (including six reporters) by how quickly Jaramillo and his legal team, headed by Brent Romney, seemed to argue themselves out of the relatively good graces of federal prosecutor Brett Sagel. The Jaramillo strategy combined two parts arrogance and one part contrition, a doomed recipe to anyone awake.

Prior to the hearing, it was Sagel who generously recommended that Jaramillo get a whopping six-point downward departure in the sentencing guidelines based on his willingness to accept responsibility for his crimes and his cooperation for helping to bring down the degenerate former sheriff. Incredibly, though, the defense attacked Sagel in its sentencing brief, calling him a liar and adopting a disrespectful tone that preposterously implied Jaramillo was ethically superior to the assistant United States attorney. At the end of the defense presentations, Sagel stood up, shook his head and said, "I no longer believe he's entitled to a downward departure of all six levels. . . . He still thinks the law applies to everyone but him."

Jaramillo's eyes widened, and he rapidly rubbed his lips and chin with the fingers on his right hand. Sagel compared the ex-assistant sheriff to a child who kills his parents, and then seeks sympathy because he's an orphan. The analogy stiffened Jaramillo's body. Sagel paused. The prosecutor then announced, "We ask for a period of incarceration." Jaramillo slowly shook his head in recognition that his plight now would include a stop in a federal penitentiary.

Ex-Sheriff Carona to Feds: Please Clean up the Jails before I start serving time!

​Front page stories in both the LA Times and Register today report that the U.S. Justice Department is investigating Orange County's jail system in the wake of recent brutality allegations. "Officials from the department's Civil Rights Division are seeking to determine whether incidents of violence by jail personnel amount to a pattern of violating inmates' rights, the Sheriff's Department confirmed," writes the Times' Tami Abdollah. "The Orange County district attorney criticized deputies earlier this year for a 'code of silence' that he said hampered prosecutors' ability to investigate possible criminal activities."

When dozens of inmates murdered an alleged child porn possessor named John Chamberlain in late 2006 after a deputy allegedly told them the inmate was a child molester, sheriff's personnel refused to allow DA investigators access to the crime scene, even though the DA is supposed to investigate all murders involving the sheriff's dept. The DA is now charging nine inmates with murdering Chamberlain, but ruled against filing charges against the deputy who allegedly outed Chamberlain as a pervert.

In response to the news of the Justice probe, the sheriff's department issued the following statement: "We've implemented many changes of our jail procedures and in our use of force policy since the Chamberlain grand jury transcripts and the District Attorney's findings on Chamberlain case were released last year. We continue to review our policies and implement changes to make our staff more accountable and our operations the best possible. We have worked with independent organizations including the ACLU and the Orange County Office of Independent Review and we welcome the DOJ's scrutiny of our operations. We are cooperating fully with their requests."

Good luck, Justice Department investigators! You have chosen an important mission and we fully expect you to get to the bottom of this mysterious pattern of behavior. Here, to get you started, is a link to every story we've run that mentions just one of the jails you're probing, Theo Lacy Men's Jail.

Enjoy!
 

Break out the vodka, boys!

​As Orange County's Republican sheriff, Mike Carona liked to talk tough about granting no mercy to convicted felons, but ever since the ex-top cop turned convicted felon himself earlier this year he's been begging for leniency.

This afternoon, the Ninth Circuit--the nation's most liberal federal appeals court--granted Carona his wish.

Unlike most felons, he'll be allowed to remain free from serving his 66-month federal prison sentence until the appellate court reviews his claim that federal prosecutors cheated to win a conviction. Specifically, the ex-sheriff says it wasn't fair that FBI and IRS agents secretly recorded him and an assistant sheriff discussing cash and gift bribes, ways to thwart a federal grand jury investigating his corruption, his conquests of women during work hours, his massive ego and his close friendships with a multitude of degenerate characters.

U.S. Department of Justice officials, who argued that Carona should begin his punishment on July 24, declined to comment on today's ruling, according to agency spokesman Thom Mrozek.

Our apologies to married men throughout Southern California; your wives are not safe while the "Little Ex-Sheriff" roams free.

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

The sheriff partying with a Las Vegas felon before his FBI arrest

In anticipation for this month's arrival of ex-Orange County Sheriff Mike Carona, the federal Bureau of Prisons has issued a new identity for the convicted felon who abused his office by, among other things, attempting to sabotage a federal grand jury investigating OC law enforcement corruption: 

Carona with a mob goon

The Orange County Hispanic Endowment Education Fund (HEEF) is a fine organization that gives out thousands of dollars in scholarships to deserving students every year and has done so for quite some time. Sometime this month, they will hold a reception for prospective recipients. Maybe some young scholar can ask this pertinent question to their elders: why does HEEF still allow disgraced, adulterous, felonious ex-sheriff Mike Carona to sully the group's name?

Among the scholarships currently listed for prospective applicants is the "Mike Corona* [sic] Foundation Law Enforcement Scholarship." Four scholarships to the tune of $1,000 each are available to "high school seniors interested in any aspect of law enforcement." It's one thing to partner with someone like Henry J. Nicholas, who's awaiting trial on multiple felonies but still finds the time to open up learning centers in SanTana; the courts haven't tried him yet, and his alleged crimes were in the private realm. But does HEEF really find it appropriate to accept money from Carona to students interested in law enforcement? My god, what kind of a role model is Carona for such kids? And the sheer huevos of this felon! Having Carona make out a scholarship for future law enforcement officials is like a pedo-priest raising money for a kid's scholarship. This is where standing sheriff Sandra Hutchens or the Association of Orange County Deputy Sheriffs should step in with some moolah to displace Carona's dirty money...but I guess they have their own financial issues to deal with.

As as for HEEF: how can you accept money from such a cretin? And, how DARE one of your own, lawyer Ruben A. Smith, write a letter on Carona's behalf asking for clemency by citing Carona's work with HEEF as an example of what a great guy the pendejo is. In the words of the late, great, decrepit Wally George: SICK, SICK, SICK!

*About the misspelling: Is it a typo, or on purpose? Moxley just told me that it came out in testimony during Carona's trial that his campaign purposely misspelled his name in campaign literature as "Corona" during the 1998 sheriff's campaign to mislead wabs into voting for one of their own. Is HEEF doing it also to make people think this is an actual Mike Corona and not the felon? Inquiring minds want to know!

Galisky says anti-gay bigots knocked her out of OCSD

I just learned that Christine Hanley, one of the last investigative journalists remaining at the already decimated Orange County bureau of the Los Angeles Times, has resigned.

The opinion page staff at the Los Angeles Times today handed Orange County Sheriff Sandra Hutchens an endorsement of sorts by hailing her policies as "overdue" change following "the political shenanigans" of sheriff-turned-felon Mike Carona. Their evidence that the sheriff is moving the Orange County Sheriff's Department in the right direction? According to the Times, "The cozy circle of the local power elite" and their "political gunslingers" are angrily squealing about her reform efforts.

"The paradox here is that Hutchens' lack of a political bent might be here biggest weakness in an elected office," according to the editorial. "As she increasingly comes into conflict with the entrenched establishment, she risks being voted out in the next election."

(My March cover story profile, "Less Than A Year Since She Was Appointed Sheriff, Sandra Sue Hutchens Has Made Some Powerful Enemies," provides additional evidence of the Times' assertion.)

Though apprehensive about suspected anti-Hutchens political forces seeking to embarrass this sheriff inside District Attorney Tony Rackauckas' office, the paper also applauded the DA's "willingness to question the behavior of sheriff's deputies." Five deputies have been accused of recently testi-lying to help a fellow deputy escape a conviction for twice firing a Taser into a handcuffed suspect sitting in the back of a patrol car. Hutchens claims she is conducting an investigation, but the Times rightly suggests that she "would quell more doubts" if an external agency conducted the probe.

Read the LA Times editorial HERE.

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Carona's new executive suite

From left: Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Reported All the Evil

Earlier this morning, I nearly spit out my quesadilla and beans-with-rice breakfast while watching Inside OC with Rick Reiff on KOCE-TV Channel 50. The subject was disgraced, felonious ex-sheriff Mike Carona, and the guests were Democratic Part of Orange County chair Frank Barbaro, former Carona spokeshole Jon Fleischman, and our own R. Scott Moxley. Barbaro actually said that "the media convicted Carona" long before federal judge Andrew Guiliford sentenced Carona to five-and-a-half years in federal prison. When Rick pointed out that the media was "right" about Carona, Barbaro paused and pointed out that the sheriff was convicted only on one count, quickly adding he's a friend of Debbie "The Deb Who's the Wife" Carona, and "didn't hear the evidence."

Excuse me, Frank? The media--most of all, the Weekly--merely reported the facts about Carona for the past four years, and for you to intone some kind of unfair reportorial treatment of the scumbag is the same shit Carona's Alice-in-Wonderland gang have long claimed. You know it's a strange day in Orange County when Fleischman criticized Carona harsher than Barbaro.

Watch the episode by clicking here (hey, Rick: Ever heard of YouTube?). As the late, great Wally George would shout 'til his wig trembled: SICK, SICK, SICK!

While wondering where all the defenders of convicted and soon-to-be imprisoned ex-sheriff Mike Carona are now, Register editorial writer Steven Greenhut drops a couple shout outs to the coverage by the Weekly's R. Scott Moxley, the lone reporter uncovering the former top Orange County lawman's misdeeds from the beginning. Greenhut begins his post on his Orange Punch "liberty blog" (all the emphasises are his):

I was reading theLiberalOC and found this interesting post in which the writer points to the lack of coverage of the Mike Carona sentencing in the conservative blogosphere, and reminds us of Carony Jon Fleischman's ringing endorsement of the sheriff, which included this paragraph: "There have been a number of news articles (primarily in the OC Weekly and in the LA Times) that have been negative about the Sheriff.  Well, I can tell you as someone who is truly in a position to sort out fact from fiction -- most of what they have said simply isn't true."

Greenhut's post goes on to name GOP chairman Scott Baugh, Red County blogger Matt "Jubal" Cunningham and unnamed other establishment Republicans as joining Flash Reporter Fleischman in being absent from the debate they started over the criminal sheriff's guilt or innocence now.

Rachanee Srisavasdi reports in today's Register that Orange County Sheriff-turned-felon Mike Carona will likely earn 12 cents to 40 cents per hour working as a painter, plumber, orderly, food server or groundskeeper during his 5.5-year stint--or 85 percent of that--at what most likely will be the Lompoc Federal Correctional Complex.

A quick check of the interwebs reveals that Lompoc inmates generally work eight- or nine-hour shifts nine days every two weeks. Knowing how hard Carona toils, we'll give him the benefit of the doubt and expect him to earn the full 40 cents per hour, nine hours per day, nine days every two weeks. Clockwork is no math major, but that is believed to come out to $3.60 per shift and $32.40 per paycheck.

Among the items Carona could thereby purchase with one paycheck include the paperback edition of the Field Guide to the Birds of Korea, a box of 36 tiger rings to be distributed to inmate friends like badges, concealed-weapon permits and assistant sheriff appointments and, a personal favorite, this Seamless V Top Cami from Chez and Terri lingerie, which should make our former top cop the hit of his cell block's Sadie Hawkins dance.

But, surely, our ex-sheriff is not the type to blow his wad on any Russian hook--erm--American product. Indeed, he would be better saving and spending in dribbles and drabs. For instance, long-term detainees owe it to themselves to purchase, for a steal at $7, Michael Santos' Strategy for Successful Prison Adjustment, which details how the author "used a quadrant theory to thrive through a 45-year prison term." Other essentials inside include stamps, envelopes, yoga books (as stretching helps deal with being confined to cell 22 hours per day), word-search games (to keep the mind sharp) and funny clippings (to maintain a good sense of humor).

Of course, there are also the "Mikessentials" he'll need such as protein powder, spray-on Rogaine and rotten fruit from Harry and David that the notorious martini-lover can use to make toilet vodka.

Since no one correctly guessed who made the prison-rape crack about disgraced, felonious ex-Orange County Sheriff Mike Carona (it was Buena Park pastor Wiley Drake, although the last guess--KOCE-TV's Real Orange anchor Ann Pulice--was HILARIOUS) and we so desperately want to give away the cover above, I submit another trivia challenge:

As Carona, his wife, and attorney Brian Sun left the courthouse Monday and the mob of amateur reporters (bloggers and YouTubers) that trailed them like stray dogs on a drumstick, what was the final crime of the day (to our knowledge) that Carona committed? First person to correctly answer wins the above issue with the great illustration. One crime per answer, por favor!

Sheriff Hugs Mafia Associate in Newport Beach Bar

Yesterday, federal judge Andrew Guilford said he was disgusted by Mike Carona's willingness as Orange County sheriff to sabotage a grand jury's corruption investigation by convincing a potential key witness to lie about bribery and secret gifts. Guilford handed Carona a prison sentence of 5.5 years and ordered him to pay a $125,000 fine. But before that happened Carona's Alice in Wonderland fan club supplied written reasons the disgraced ex-sheriff (who also spent countless hours cheating on his wife while on-duty) should not be punished for betraying the public trust. Here is a sampling of 30 submitted to the judge:

"It was a joy to be in his company as his social skills were something to watch and learn from." -Charleen Rangel

"Regardless of the challenges we face as a people, I am unwilling to allow the pawl of our global problems to overshadow the needs of one man . . . a simple man . . . truly the personification of the American Dream."  --Thomas Banks
 
"Sheriff Carona helped my husband remove the front end of a van that had hit a water valve cement barrier near the back of the event tent." -Margit Aaron
 
"My son Brendan and their son Matthew have both played football at Orange Lutheran High School . . . I have seen Mr. Carona act in the utmost professional manner in both his official capacity as sheriff as well as on a personal level." -Douglas R. Circle
 
"He is a person and deserves mercy like any one of us." -John D. Vaughan
 
"I am an executive with long hair and a goat tee, but he highly regarded me for my work and positive leadership, thus recommending me to be on the Sheriff Advisory Council." -Vance Lommen
 
"A contentious election and the media demanded a scandal  . . ." -Christine Murray
 
"The few times that I spoke with Mike directly I felt his passion for this community and its people as well as for keeping America safe." -Boaz Shonfeld
 
"Michael Carona is a man of his word." -Rick A. Caporale

"I am appalled by the waste of government time, resources and tax dollars that were expended in pursuing this case." -Christine Lovell
 
"Let us not forget the endless days and very long nights he spent away from his home and family in Washington and in California during his term of duty as sheriff, that helped to protect the people of Orange County, and especially to protect their children, and his continued effort to help protect the security of the United States." -Dr. Richard Schulze
 
"Mr. Carona is a man with strong religious belief . . . He is a family man, dedicated to his wife and son." -Steve Bishop
 
"[Matthew] has learned things about his father that have been difficult for him." -Susan Challen
 

Dream sequence: Mike Carona entertains his fellow inmates.

Jack Grimshaw, the Weekly's eagle-eyed proofreader, just whipped up this diddy. Imagine disgraced, prison-bound, ex-Sheriff Mike Carona singing the following to his future minimum security federal pen inmates to the tune of Johnny Cash's "I Walk the Line":

Which Orange County gadfly personality said the following to reporters about disgraced, felonious, wife-cheating ex-sheriff Mike Carona shortly before His Smugness walked out of the Ronald Reagan Federal Courthouse?

"The boys in prison will give him a smile"

First person to guess wins a copy of the historic OC Weekly issue with the above great illustration of Carona at the movies with his two Debbies! No one who was there when the priceless quote was uttered is eligible.

CONTINUOUSLY UPDATED . . .

"Inexperienced" criminal defense attorney Rawitz (left) and Carona in January.

Once dubbed "America's Sheriff," Mike Carona was sentenced this afternoon to 66 months--or 5 1/2 years--behind bars, two years probation after he serves the prison time and a $125,000 fine for attempting to sabotage a grand jury investigation into abuse of power and bribery at the Orange County Sheriff's Department.

U.S. District Court Judge Andrew J. Guilford said during his sentencing that he didn't understand the "unrestrained celebrations" after Carona's guilty verdict, in which Carona was cleared of several other corruption charges.

In January, a cheerfully weepy Carona stood outside the Ronald Reagan Federal Courthouse and declared that God, working through an Orange County jury, had provided him "a miracle" and "vindicated" him of any criminal conduct.

"A wrong message was sent regarding respect for the law and the jury system," said Guilford.  "Carona has given no indication he wouldn't ask someone again to lie."

Carona's attorney, Jeffrey Rawitz, took the blame today for the celebrations, calling them a result of his own lack of experience as a criminal defense lawyer. "I'm responsible for that. We thought he was going to be convicted," Rawitz told the judge. "I should have been more diligent taking control of that situation."

Perhaps later laying the groundwork for an appeal, which Carona must file for within the next 10 days, Rawitz said, "I was not experienced enough as a criminal defense lawyer. I should have said, 'Keep your mouth shut.' But that relates to me, not Mr. Carona, because I didn't explain to him that he was exposed to these numbers."

The judge, saying he understood his numbers would be hard on Carona's family, remarked, "The Bureau of Prisons will protect Mr. Carona, just as Carona protected inmates under his care." The judge added he would inform the bureau to take into account Carona's former career as a law enforcement officer.

Carona was given until July 24 to turn himself in. That will allow him to be out on bond to attend his son's graduation.

Courtroom observers reported Carona looked "stoic" during sentencing while his wife and one-time co-defendant Debbie appeared "very sad."

According to the Orange County Register's occrimescene, which was Twittering the sentencing hearing, Guilford said Carona's crime hurt the community. "Lying will not be tolerated in this courtroom," the judge said, ". . . especially by the county's leading law enforcement officer. . . . The Mike Carona we see telling someone to lie speaks poorly of your characteristics."

Prosecutors Brett Sagel and Ken Julian had sought 108 months or nine years in prison for the man CNN's Larry King called "America's Sheriff" during the hunt for little Samanta Runnion's killer. That's 30 months more than what a federal probation officer recently recommended based on sentencing guidelines.

Defense attorneys had urged probation for their client.

The Weekly's R. Scott Moxley, who attended the hearing, reported that Guilford dealt the defense a huge blow when he indicated earlier in the day that witness Don Haidl, Carona's former assistant sheriff, was credible. The defense had vehemently contended the multi-millionaire businessman who voluntarily ran Carona's reserve unit was a liar.

Secret recordings Haidl made for the FBI reveal the then-sheriff plotting to get Haidl to lie about bribery and gifts.

The courtroom was so packed this morning when Carona entered the media had to be sat in the jury box. He was cheerfully hugging and shaking the hands of people when he arrived, but Carona turned "very solemn" as the day's events unfolded.

It's not a crime if the sheriff does it

Please, please, please don't punish me for my criminal activity!

As we all await whether as our disgraced, felonious, ex-sheriff will actually serve jail time...

Home Sweet Home?

Ex-Sheriff Mike Carona should serve 108 months or nine years in prison for attempting to sabotage a grand jury investigation into abuse of power and bribery at the Orange County Sheriff's Department, according to a brief filed today by the U.S. Department of Justice.

Not a good day for Carona

U.S. District Court Judge Andrew J. Guilford today firmly rejected legal efforts by Mike Carona to overturn a jury's guilty verdict, noting that there was "ample evidence" that the ex-Orange County sheriff attempted to sabotage a federal grand jury investigating bribery and corruption at the top of the Orange County Sheriff's Department.

"Give me your rich, your tanned and my MF'n CCW!"

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away . . . Sheriff Mike Carona gave Mike "Vader" Schroeder, his feisty top political adviser, a permit to carry a concealed weapon (CCW). Last week, the new Orange County sheriff, Sandra Hutchens notified Schroeder, a Republican Party heavyweight in California, that her department intended to revoke his permit. Hutchens' policy is that getting a CCW is a special privilege and that folks must proved "good cause" to secretly pack heat.

Today, Schroeder's Los Angeles-based attorney, Rick A. Cigel, notified the sheriff's department that Hutchens has not "set forth any legal basis to revoke" Schroeder's license, noting that the attempted action "does not stem from any shortcomings in his legal compliance or the legitimacy of his license when it was issued, but instead from a change in the administration of your department."

Cigel (who has been legal counsel to Massage Today magazine) also complains that officials may have singled out Schroeder (who owns a chiropractic insurance business) by knowingly mailing their revocation notice to the wrong address prior to the deadline to appeal the decision.

"It is inexcusable that Mr. Schroeder was not given his letter until after the response deadline passed," according to Cigel, who seeks an extension to argue the case and "an explanation of the statutory grounds on which the sheriff intends to revoke his license."

Can you smell the forthcoming lawsuit?

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Sandra Hutchens is not the only Orange County sheriff trying to collect honorary Orange County sheriff's badges that a predecessor handed out to supporters. The Times Herald-Record, which covers the Hudson Valley of New York, has a story today on the crap their Orange County sheriff has gone through since announcing any courtesy shields issued by previous administrations should be returned.

Carl DuBois made that announcement upon taking office in 2003.

He just got three back from federal agents last week.

The feds recovered them from an alleged scamster and friend of the previous sheriff who has since been charged with bribery of a public official and conspiracy to commit visa fraud--and before you ask, yes, I am sure I am talking about Orange County, New York.

Give Mike Carona, our convicted-felon ex-sheriff, credit for one thing: He has supernatural powers that philandering men around the world must admire. He's repeatedly cheated on his wife, his mistress, another mistress, another mistress, another mistress--well, you get the picture. And yet his two top women, longtime wife Debbie and mistress Debbie, get along famously in public. They've even hugged!

Who needs Dr. Phil?

Today, of course, the Debbies were summoned one last time to the Ronald Reagan Federal Courthouse in Santa Ana. It was a joyous occasion for the pair. Following a jury's not-guilty findings earlier this month on certain conspiracy charges against Carona, prosecutors agreed to dismiss felony counts facing the Debbies individually.

Never mind that Prosecutor Ken Julian didn't ask to dismiss the cases based on a lack of evidence. Julian did so, he said, in the "interests of justice." He explained it would be wrong to convict the two Debbies on charges Carona had miraculously (the ex-sheriff's description) escaped.

(Somewhere in a two-story Dove Canyon abode, a middle-aged man is weeping. George Jaramillo, Carona's hand-picked No. 2 at the Orange County Sheriff's Department from 1999 to 2004, has already confessed to the conspiracy that the Carona jury didn't think existed. Jaramillo faces potentially decades in prison at sentencing later this year.)

But a simple "thank you" was not forthcoming from either Debbie. Hoffman's public defender, Sylvia Torres-Guillen, rose from her seat, dripping in contempt for the feds. Her client should never have been arrested, she said, before essentially asking federal Judge Andrew Guilford to declare the charges baseless. She asked the court to dismiss the case "with prejudice." Was she trying to open a legal avenue to sue the government for wrongful prosecution?

The Torres-Guillen sermon, like much of her work during the trial, provided the only humorous moment in an otherwise-uneventful hearing.

Prosecutor Julian responded by saying that if Debbie 2--that would be Hoffman, I'm guessing--wasn't satisfied with him dropping charges, he had a new idea.

"We'll be happy to withdraw our motion [to dismiss] and proceed to trial, if that's what she'd like," he said.

The deadpan quip, delivered with all the sincerity Julian could muster on short notice, knocked the smile off Torres-Guillen's face.

Never mind, she said. Guilford sided with Julian. That defense loss didn't dampen spirits for long.

Soon the festivities moved outside the courthouse, where a whistling Santa Ana tossed television news reporters' usually cemented coifs. Before a bank of Los Angeles-based news cameras, the Debbies took turns, well, shtupping (thanks Mickadeit!) Julian and fellow Assistant United States Attorney Brett Sagel. The prosecutors were the callous criminals, they suggested.

"The lies that were told were told over and over again," said an always-articulate Debbie 1, who then offered her own deadpan quip mocking Sagel's closing argument against her husband. "Their lies became the truth!"

Oh, Debbie 1. You do have a sense of humor!

Was it a lie that you, your husband and Debbie 2 collectively took more than $400,000 in cash and gifts from men seeking influence over law enforcement? No.

Was it a lie that a used-car salesman with practically no law-enforcement training was given full police powers and named an assistant sheriff after giving your husband cash and illegal contributions? No.

Was it a lie that part of those monies funded, as your husband acknowledged in secret FBI recordings, an on-duty "fuck pad" for him and Debbie 2? No.

Was it a lie that the cash and gifts were systematically left off annual public-disclosure forms? No.

During her turn, a shaking Hoffman pulled a sheet of white paper from her purse and read from typewritten notes. She called herself a "pawn in a politically motivated case" guided by "overzealous" government prosecutors looking for "their lottery ticket to a private firm." She thanked God.

When KCAL's Dave Lopez and I tried to ask questions about the powerful evidence against her, Hoffman refused to answer.

She did volunteer this before happily walking away with Carona, Debbie 1, their lawyers and the Alice in Wonderland fan club: "I stand for truth and justice."

Nope. The facts showed otherwise. You stood for nothing more than a crooked, married man's prowling "Little Sheriff."

This isn't to say that I don't have some sympathetic feelings for the Debbies. I always feel for women who can't shake themselves from dishonest, selfish pigs.

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Along with Orange County Register columnist Frank Mickadeit, I'm appearing today on The OC Show With Cameron Jackson for an hour-long discussion about ex-sheriff Mike Carona, his disgraceful conduct in office, the just-completed trial, crazy jurors and the lapdog local media.

You can hear the 5 p.m. broadcast at KUCI-FM 88.9 if you're within about 8 miles of Irvine, or, if not, the station has a "listen now" button on its website at www.kuci.org.

The show also can be found here.

Neither Frank nor Cameron are responsible for anything I say.

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Should a convicted felon's public refusal to accept responsibility for criminal conduct be a major factor in what punishment a judge ultimately issues?

Mike Carona (pictured, momentarily pausing between gloating sessions with the media) should hope not.

Why?

Today, after a jury found him not guilty on five counts but guilty of coaching a potential federal grand jury witness how to lie under oath, the ex-Orange County sheriff acted as if he'd won a Super Lotto jackpot or a Hank Asher-paid trip to a Nevada whorehouse.

"I absolutely feel vindicated," he told a reporter. "Beyond vindicated . . . I never gave up the belief that I was innocent."

Absolutely vindicated?

Beyond vindicated?

Innocent?

Jurors I interviewed insisted they believe Carona did accept bribes, lie and cheat, but felt constrained by complicated jury instructions and the statute of limitations.

"He shouldn't be celebrating anything," one juror told me after the verdicts were announced. "His conduct as the sheriff was deplorable. He really should be ashamed."

Well, it's all moot anyway. Carona declared that he's now got an all-powerful ally. God, he says, has forgiven him  for being . . . so innocent and vindicated, I presume.

The ball is now in Judge Andrew Guilford's court to let Carona know that, back in reality, he's not innocent and that repeatedly attempting to sabotage a federal grand jury's corruption investigation is a serious crime. 

A hearing to establish Carona's punishment is set for April 27. The sentencing range is probation to 20 years. Don't be surprised if prosecutors seek more than 12 months of incarceration for the new convicted felon who thinks he's been vindicated.

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Thirty long hours. That's how much time the 11 men and lone woman of the jury have deliberated the federal corruption charges against ex-Orange County Sheriff Mike Carona without reaching verdicts. Meanwhile, boredom has driven reporters to gossip, play poker, gossip, plan vacations, gossip and bitch. How's Carona spending his time? Mostly huddled in a 7th floor courthouse conference room with a small fan base that lovingly follows him and shoots nasty looks at the media. It's apparently our fault that Carona's a warped character worthy of a secondary role in a dime novel. Here, brave OC Weekly photographer Beth Stirnaman today captures the county's former top cop (and "Kiki," one of his favorite Jones Day defense lawyers) behind bars and inside a restaurant across the street from the Ronald Reagan Federal Courthouse in Santa Ana. Why the pained who-me expression? It wasn't Tommy Pastrami's food. Someone asked Carona if he could spend one day--just one lousy day--without lying or cheating. I kid, of course. Everyone knows that's an impossibility. Minutes later, he learned that the jury had left for the day. A smiling Carona emerged from the restaurant and strutted before news cameras. One veteran reporter observed, "What a hot dog."

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly