« INDIEFEST/FAIF -- DAY 2 | Main | To Do Tonight - 10/31 - HALLOWEEN! »

Wednesday's Headlines & Surprises: Exclusive Carona Wiretap Transcript!

Carona Should Resign? Absolutely not. There is no telling which clown would takeover from the cesspool that contains Carona’s upper management. Besides, as an investigative journalist, I’d mourn the loss of a character like Mike Carona sitting atop the sheriff’s department. Sure, he’s dirty. Yes, yes, he routinely tries to use the powers of his office to frighten me. But Carona’s a guaranteed scandal maker. Last year, I dubbed him “Calamity Mike” after we obtained an audio recording of him having sex with a department secretary while his temperamental wife (indicted too, can you believe?) and sweet son (too young to be committing felonies yet--we hope) sat feet away in another vehicle. Classy. I’ve been around long enough to know two things: Carona’s not 100 percent bad and he very well may someday enter a local fine dining establishment with his chest out and his nose up—winking, of course, at chicks who still dig his soiled uniform. Carona and wife Deborah—not Debra, his longtime mistress (indicted too, can you believe?)—hit the media circuit yesterday. It must have been painful, considering the depths of the sheriff’s hatred of the press. He told Christine Hanley at the Los Angeles Times, “I’m staying because I love the job and I do a good job.” Sure, Mikey. Looks fun. The wife—how can she reign superior over her tea group now?—played whiny victim by casting FBI and IRS agents as villains. Please, women. We should thank the Feds who worked on this case. Without you folks, Orange County would be lawless for the power players who run the place. Final thought until tomorrow: The idea of ex-Assistant Sheriff Don Haidl—a slimy, hillbilly character straight from central casting who has already pleaded guilty in the bribery scheme—wearing a wire while OC’s top cop allegedly tries to convince him to lie to a federal grand jury is priceless. I imagine the conversation going like this:

Haidl: (deeply inhales cigarette smoke and before exhaling) Fuck.
Sheriff: We're fucked.
Haidl: (gulps a shot of whiskey) Fuck.
Sheriff: Fuckin' Moxley.
Haidl (farts) Fuck.
Sheriff: Your sister's looking hot.


-- R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Comments (2)

  1. derek bercher says:

    Speaking truth to power- we owe you one Moxley-- you da man. The harder they come the harder they fall. Like roaches scurrying for cover when the lights go on I can't wait to see what this cast of characters is up to next. At least now the Sheriff has some motivation to treat people in custody like human beings rather than lab rats since he may soon be one of them.

  2. T Burch says:

    Moxely - thanks for having a pair, unlike the Register. I'm not sure what is more tragic, the fact the the local Republican establishment took a page out Hillary's playbook and "stood by their man" for way too long, or the fact the Feds were forced to play big brother and "save" OC voters from their stupidity and lack of insight. A majority of ignorant voters (barely) voted Skippy in while most of this trash was fully known to anybody reading anything other than the pitiful OC Register. I heard women say they were going to vote for Carona because he was "hot". Way to vindicate women's right to vote ladies. . . What about the idiots that voted for Carona because he said he is God fearing Christian, as if simply saying it made it a fact. Moreover, as if being a God fearing Christian is even a necessary quality in being a Sheriff. . . What about the pitiful OC Register which rubber stamps anything its largest advertisers tell it to - including puff pieces about "America's sheriff" being a member of MENSA - again, as if being a genius is a necessary of even desirable quality in a public official. Mike Carona is not the only one indicted by the Feds - indeed it is a poor reflection of all people that chose to vote for Carona, campaign for him, and enable him to run roughshod over the public trust. What about that slimy Schroeder guy? He should be a co-conspirator - In a normal bipartisan county, they could blame the left wing conspiracy machine. Here, this "band of brothers" did nothing short of go "Donner Party" on each other. Pretty damn amusing.

Post a comment

All reader comments are subject to our Terms of Use. By clicking "Post", you acknowledge that you have reviewed and agree to these Terms.

OC Weekly Flickr Pool

Notifications

Subscribe to RSS
Receive Email Updates

Archives

Monthly

Category

Orange County Results

Search Filters

Type: Entire Site

Keyword

Entire Site:

      Can you be more specific?

Loading...
Orange County Results

Search Filters

Type: Entire Site

Keyword

Entire Site:

      Can you be more specific?

Loading...
Orange County Results

Search Filters

Type: Entire Site

Keyword

Entire Site:

      Can you be more specific?

Loading...