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Mikey Carona's Folsom Prison Blues!

Well, ask and you shall receive. . .looks like we're starting a Carona lyric-swap library. Yesterday, Roy Rivenburg and Lisa O'Neill Hill took on The Knack's "My Sharona." Today, our very own Jack Grimshaw shot us his lovely bastardization of Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues."

P.S. If anyone else wants to contribute to our growing collection, I'm at jkahn@ocweekly.com.

Mikey's Folsom Prison Blues!
By Jack Grimshaw

Well, I know that prison’s waiting,
It’s just around the bend,
I traded my integrity
For a lousy Montblanc pen,
I’m going to Folsom prison,
And all those scary dudes,
They’ll make me wear silk panties
And do things rather rude!

Got elected sheriff,
Started tapping my rich friends,
The means, I always figured,
Justify the ends,
But those lousy sons of bitches
At the FBI,
Got that sneaky shit Don Haidl
To tape me on the sly.

--- Instrumental ---

Well, they say I took in thousands -
700K!
So I took a leave of absence
While pulling down full pay,
Well, they’re claiming bribes and kickbacks
And witness tampering,
Now, to smack George Jaramillo,
I’d give anything.

If they’d just drop all these charges,
I’d promise to behave,
I’d even leave the county
A costly trial they’d save,
I’d even take my Debbies,
Number One and Two,
And if you wanna buy a badge, pal,
Just bring some cash with you!

Comments (3)

  1. John says:

    These songs really aren't funny at all. Maybe the songs should have the them 'why does the ocweekly pay somebody to do this crap'. It seems to me you guys picked up some crappy 'the onion' staffer.

  2. Steve says:

    Heres one from some readers for whoever writes this uninspired column.

    Its a cover of 'Hurt' which we all do when we think the weekly actually allows this blog. =)

    - Hurt at the Oc Weekly-

    I hurt my papers humor bone today
    To see if this internships for real
    I focus on the lack of humor
    The only thing that's real
    The pen I hold delivers
    the old recycled joke
    Try to humor my bosses anyway
    But I cant remember 9th grade journalism class or anything

    [Chorus:]
    What have I become, these jokes are sadly lame
    My sweetest friends
    Everyone I know reading this column winces in disappointment
    at the end
    And you could have it all
    My empire of lame blogs
    Moxley and the staff I will let you down
    I will make your website and readers hurt

    I wear this crown of thorns
    Upon my humorless chair
    Full of wasted pages
    My employers in despair
    Beneath the pains and cries
    The paychecks gonna disappear
    You were right my family
    I am still not funny

    [Chorus:]
    What have I become, these jokes are sadly lame
    My sweetest friends
    Everyone I know reading this column winces in disappointment
    at the end
    And you could have it all
    My empire of lame blogs
    Moxley and the staff I will let you down
    I will make your website and readers hurt

  3. Gustavo Arellano says:

    Hey Steve/John: better to post as an anonymous wimp than to make up fake names using the same IP address. As for your own song--you know what they say about those who throw stones...

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