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Which Burger Joints Can Homophobes Trust?
Posted by R. Scott Moxley in Breaking News, Gay Marriage, Gimme That OC Religion, Moxley
July 7, 2008 1:35 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)
Don’t laugh. This is a serious question for Reverend Wiley Drake, pastor of the First Southern Baptist Church in Buena Park. Early Sunday morning, Drake, with assistance from the American Family Association (AFA), launched what he hopes will be a nationwide boycott of McDonald's.
Its sin? The company refused an AFA demand that it remove its name from the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce website and—in a senseless salute to Satan—also allowed “an openly homosexual” McDonald's executive to sit on the chamber’s board of directors.
“This boycott is not about hiring homosexuals, or homosexuals eating at McDonald's, or how homosexual employees are treated,” Drake wrote in an e-mail. “It’s about McDonald’s, as a corporation, choosing to put the full weight of their corporation behind promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.”
(I wonder if the AFA will reprimand Drake for gross incompetence: He crammed the word “homosexual” a mere five times into two sentences.)
This situation prompted Drake at 7:40 a.m. on Sunday to declare that he will “personally send a $5 gift card from Burger King to each person that [sic] sends a complete [anti-McDonald's] petition with 10 supporters of the boycott.” And he offered to give any individual or organization that joins the boycott “priority to come on any of my five world wide radio shows to share the Lord’s leading in your life.”
How about that, Mr. Snerdly?
But by 4:49 p.m. that same day, someone named “Nedd” notified Drake that his Burger King slap at McDonald's was ill-conceived: “You might wish to know Burger King gave between $5K and $10K to the Gay & Lesbo [sic] Task Force back in February.”
Say it ain't so! Burger King too? Part of the Lavender Empire that’s scheming to takeover schools, sports, the military and now corporate America! Isn’t there any national fast food burger joint willing to openly spurn gays? Wiley, your gaydar is off. Here was your hint . . . [see image].
Dejected but still determined, Drake sent another e-mail. “Might have to change to a Wendy’s gift card,” he wrote. “Anyone have any suggestions?”
Holy cow, Wiley. Are you seated on a cushioned church pew? In May 2006, Wendy’s caved into the dark side. The company announced that it had added a nondiscrimination policy with written protections for gay and lesbian employees.
Perhaps Dairy Queen has gift certificates.
-- R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly
Comments (7)
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July 7, 2008 15:22
It's shit like this that really shakes my faith in the omnipotence of "God"......and his choice of the dominant species.....
Don't these people have anything better to do with there time?!.....
July 7, 2008 18:35
Sickening that grown men spend so much time thinking/worrying about what other men do in bed.
July 7, 2008 22:32
....I'm embarrassed!....my rant-mode produced a spelling error....
Don't these people have anything better to do with their time?!.....
(there!....better!....)
July 8, 2008 09:07
Of course, Rev. Wiley (coyote?) & the AFA can also rule out "Dairy Queen". ;-)
July 8, 2008 09:54
NEWSFLASH:
Wiley announced this morning that he'll be giving away Wendy's gift certificates after all.
July 8, 2008 17:50
Of course it's Wendy's lest we forget Dave Thomas the founder of Wendy's who pulled its sponsorship of the Ellen show upon finding out (what a fucking shock) Ellen was GAY! Now that poor Dave Thomas is dead 8 years over someone must carry on the sick minded state of a really shitty fast food joint. I am not a a health food person and could care less if someone is fat or gay, to me being fat will kill you being gay just makes christians or so called christians uncomfortable. However I do think that Rev. Wiley needs to consider he is offering people gift cards to eat unhealhty food that can make you die. IS that gluttony?
July 27, 2008 17:33
Oh no! No tolerance! In our quest for righteousness we must spend all the time we could have spent feeding the hungry on homosexuals. Condemning them. Just like Jesus would have done.
(If you cannot sense the dripping sarcasm...that was all sarcastic.)