The Gathering of the Juggalos' Night Court Helps Wicked Clowns Bury the Hatchet (NSFW)

Categories: Bat Shit Nuts

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Nate "Igor" Smith
A young juggalo faces the punishment for his crimes.

Those in the outside world tend to view the Gathering of the Juggalos as a lawless festival of debauchery, with apparently violent clowns--"gang members," even, if you ask the U.S. government--running rampant and chaos ruling the day.

In actuality, this notion is far from the truth. Juggalos in attendance not only consistently treat one another with respect, but even have an institutionalized arbiter of disputes for when conflict does arise.

Have an issue with a fellow juggalo? Take them to Juggalo Night Court.

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UPDATE: Creepy Dolls Appear on Doorsteps in San Clemente: What Does it Mean?

Categories: Bat Shit Nuts

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Orange County Sheriffs' Department
Why is this happening?! Why is this happening?!

UPDATE JAN. 26, 4:37 P.M.: Check the end of the post, they found who was doing it, and it was a false alarm.

Before reading this story you might want to lower the lights a little, and maybe even crawl into bed. Wait, no--this isn't a ghost story. This is real life! Over the last several days, 11 families in the San Clemente community of Talega opened their front doors to find a single, porcelain doll on the porch. Each family has at least one young daughter around 10 years old. Eerily, they said the doll dropped at each porch shares a resemblance with that daughter.

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We Talked to the Cops at the Gathering of the Juggalos

Categories: Bat Shit Nuts

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Nate "Igor" Smith
Juggalos on Wednesday

What's different about this year's Gathering of the Juggalos in Thornville, Ohio? Well, the cops for one thing.

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Justin Bieber Lookalike Wannabe, Turned Down for Surgery in Newport Beach, Can Still Get Help

Categories: Bat Shit Nuts, TV

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Illustration by Jay Brockman/OC Weekly
How do you make yourself into a dead ringer for Justin Bieber? It's so EZ!

A 33-year-old songwriter who has spent more than $100,000 on surgeries to look just like Justin Bieber was--and here is the real news--turned down for more procedures by a famous Newport Beach plastic surgeon. (Honestly, walking around Lido Village and seeing over-inflated ladies with Joker smiles had me convinced cutters in town turned no one down.) But while we agree with the decision of Dr. Terry Dubrow, husband of Real Housewives of Orange County cast member Heather Dubrow, our take is based on economics, not medicine. Lissen up, Toby "True Belieber" Sheldon: You can still look just like your Canadian idol for the low, low price of $5.87.

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Navel Gazing Top Commenter Describes Gnarly Scene of Suicide-by-Amtrak in Tustin

Categories: Bat Shit Nuts

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Amtrak
Not the train in question but the logo is the same.
A transient in his 50s who apparently committed suicide by train Saturday "was nearly cut in two," according to a Navel Gazing "Top Commenter" who "could not have been more than 15 feet away" from the gruesome spectacle. The man was the second of two people believed to have taken their own lives with the help of oncoming trains in Southern California Saturday. Around nine hours before the Tustin incident, a woman in her thirties laid down on the tracks in the path of an oncoming Union Pacific freight train and was killed.

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Loi Vu and Tracy Le Face Felonies for Keeping 11 y.o. Son with Severe Autism in "Kennel"

See the next page for the identities and mug shots of the parents slapped with felonies in the case.

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Nic's Cage Emporium
Not the cage in question, but close

ORIGINAL POST, JULY 2, 8:35 A.M.: The parents of a severely autistic child who'd been kept caged in their Anaheim home were arrested last night, and the boy and his younger siblings were taken into protective custody.

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Orange County Man: I Did Not Torture And Sexually Assault My One-Month-Old Baby

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Daddy Dearest
You may have never heard of Andrew Fusco, but six years ago Orange County prosecutors convicted him in one of the most horrific criminal cases I've ever watched.

In January 2005, Fusco and his girlfriend brought their one-month-old baby for urgent medical care and shocked nurses.

Baby S, as the child is called in court, had been born healthy at Mission Hospital, but now had more than 50 cuts and bruises on his body, rib fractures, lacerations inside his mouth, a torn lip, broken arms, bite marks on his cheeks and chin, bleeding in both eyes, a cigarette-burned scrotum, severe anal tears and highly contagious staph infection in his mouth and rectum.

Rushed to an emergency room, doctors quickly placed Baby S on a respirator and summoned police.

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Would Finding Jesus Inside The Orange County Jail Aid Killer At His Sentencing?

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It took three trials to convict a methamphetamine abuser for a December 2002 shooting rampage that left a vehicle passenger dead, but despite that lengthy battle the killer offered his "sincere condolences" to the daughters of his victim during a June 20 sentencing hearing.

"This was not something that was intentional," a weeping, 49-year-old David Benjamin Rodgers told the women. "I'm truly sorry. We were just partying."

Jeanie Waterson, the 44-year-old passenger in Rodgers' Pontiac Grand Am, was shot in the heart and arm at the intersection of Sand Canyon Avenue and Alton Parkway. Rodgers shot himself in the foot.

The final jury decided the killing wasn't murder but rather manslaughter.

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New Column! The Orange County Quiz: California or Florida?

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Wikipedia Commons
Slices of Orange County life are being served. But which Orange County?

Your lesson for the day: Read each of the following six headlines and tell us if the incident happened in Orange County, Florida, or Orange County, California.

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Rita Corpin, Retired Teacher Getting $120k Pension, Found Dead Amid Hoarder Conditions

Categories: Bat Shit Nuts

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HBO
Santa Ana has its own version of Grey Gardens.

Remember the room filled with pet cans in the classic documentary (and also HBO dramatization) Grey Gardens? Turns out Santa Ana has it's own version of this--times three!--as the discovery of a 73 72-year-old woman's body on her porch ultimately uncovered two dogs, dozens and dozens of feral cats and disgusting hoarder conditions there and at her two other homes in town.

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